Wondering about my Wanderings

Bah Humbug

It is hard to be honest sometimes. I put together a compilation of stories to give to family and left the exercise with less than positive thoughts. I know that a lot of the problem is my naval gazing (and I was not even in the navy). I come from a family filled with drama and people trying to get the center of attention. It hurts to be so far away from family. I think the greater lesson is trying to sort out how I can redeem something from it. It feels awful to look back and realize that I spent so little time with my mother after I came to Kansas city. She was able to let me go. I am having a much harder time letting her go and letting her be.

My younger sister did not help but I know she meant well. She was down because she feared that her oldest son might leave home the same way that I left home. It seemed so crazy for her to dump all her emotions on me when I was having a tough day. I reassured her that he is still early in his college education. She as a mother has some say about what happens. I marvel at how mom freely let me go to KC even though it might mean I never see her again.