Pelen's Journal

The comedy of Tragedy.

Tragedy, Why does it take tragedy to get me to want to put my thoughts down in "print"? Obviously it's almost forever since I wrote anything on this site and I kind of regret that. But what I regret more is that it takes a tragedy to get me to come back. Let me explain.

A few weeks ago my seventeen year old niece was in a car accident and ended up having to have an MRI in which they found a mass in brain. couple of weeks later it turned out she has stage four brain cancer. Welcome to my tragedy I don't think I am drunk enough for this right now. She just started treatment today but for me I feel lost and unable to help my sister or her children. Maybe even more so that people I don't even know are helping them out when I feel I should be. They live about 150 miles away.

I want to do something, I can't. I want to be there for them, I can't I feel so lost and it's eating me alive. I have people telling me to keep up hope that there is never too much of hope in the world in a situation like and some others.......they say I should mourn someone who is still very much alive. As for me I don't even know how to feel what I don't know I am feeling. Any advice is welcome because I am at a complete loss.