Articles for Smeet.com

Ezer Kenegdo: Meeting Your Match

Hey, it’s WillKane. This article I want to talk about something that I really don’t think gets much attention in a lot of ways today, but should: men helping women out in their relationships, compared to a more old school approach of a woman helping the man out. Of course, men do need all the help they can get, ha, but shouldn’t this help go both ways? I think we know on a basic level that it should, but let’s go into this further.

I’m sure a lot of us know the story of Adam and Eve which I talked a little about last time, but here I think we should look at the second chapter of the Genesis account where Eve is created, specifically verse 18, the famous “helper” or “help meet” verse, according to most translations. These words all come from the Hebrew “ezer kenegdo,” the translation of which has caused some debate. So when we break it down, I favor the most literal way to look at it so I can understand the original meaning. According to a word study online for the word ezer (which normally means “help”), “Recently R. David Freedman has pointed out that the Hebrew word ezer is a combination of two roots: `-z-r, meaning ‘to rescue, to save,’ and g-z-r, meaning ‘to be strong.’" (1) This interpretation is also backed by a daily reading from the Ransomed Heart website, “But (Hebrew scholar) Robert Alter says this is ‘a notoriously difficult word to translate.’ It means something far more powerful than just ‘helper’; it means ‘lifesaver.’" (2) It is one thing to help someone out with a chore or an everyday problem, but it’s much different to be rescued by someone who is strong, kind of like those stories of people who have lifted a car in order to free someone trapped under it, literally saving a life. But yet I truly believe this is the way it was intended to be.

And while the word kenegdo normally is the “meet” part of the phrase “help meet,” again I prefer to look at a more literal approach provided by Rachel Held Evans, who says “In Genesis 2, ezer is combined with the word kenegdo to mean something like ‘a helper of the same nature,’ or a corresponding character. Kenegdo literally means ‘as in front of him,’ suggesting that the ezer (Eve) of Genesis 2 is Adam’s perfect match…Everything about this descriptor implies mutuality and harmony, and it provides us with a lovely glimpse of what a sinless relationship between a man and a woman might look like, the picture of a true partnership.” (3) So as we can see here, the term “help meet” really doesn’t do the original Hebrew phrase much justice. Instead, we’re literally presented with a strong saver in front of him who is a perfect match, if you will. So when a man meets the woman who is truly right for him, he really has met his match, ha.

So what does this mean for men, or those growing up to be men? It means that women were made to be so wonderful like that that it is important to not only recognize, but encourage and take care of women in that respect by returning the favor, every day. So even if a guy comes home after work and is just plain tired, how hard is it to spend a little time with the right woman he loves, or help around the house with chores for a while, and so on? Sure, I like to hit the sack as much as anyone after working night shift, but it makes all the difference in the world to my wife for me to take moments and make her feel and know she is not only the one, but that she is the most important in this world to me, and that I would do anything to help her because she really does save my sorry butt a lot of times. She is also the physically toughest and one of the most mentally strong women I have ever known; she is my perfect match.

Of course, there are many things that get in the way of relationships, even the best ones. For men, the biggest problem is pride; there are others, like addiction, lust, apathy, and so forth, but pride always is the biggest. For example, if I find myself getting angry at my wife, most every time it’s because of pride and wanting to blame instead of humbly putting her above me, and I’m sure that any man who listens to his conscience can agree. I am not saying my wife is perfect, but it does start with me usually. For women, the biggest problem I have seen is the desire to control, for different reasons (fear, jealousy, anger, etc.); again, there are other problems as well, which I’m not saying here that we as men are well-aware of (because I sure as heck don’t wanna hear about it from any woman reading this article for the rest of my life). And there are common problems men and women share in relationships (financial, sexual, you know the deal). But in the end, are we willing as men and women to “meet our match” where they are at in life and seek to grow together and closer?

I’ll leave you with this: one of my wife’s favorite songs, which has really become a favorite of mine also, is Diamond Rio’s “Meet in the Middle,” and the chorus goes like this,

“I'd start walking your way
You'd start walking mine
We'd meet in the middle
'Neath that old Georgia pine
We'd gain a lot of ground
'Cause we'd both give a little
There ain't no road too long
When we meet in the middle”

So whenever you are on Smeet, no matter how old you are or where you’re at in general right now, I hope you keep these words in mind the next time you talk with the opposite sex. It not only makes for less drama, but you might just learn something, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll meet your match someday for real life, if you haven’t already. Until next time, have fun and Happy Smeeting!

References:
(1) “Word Study: EZER KENEGDO.” God’s Word to Women. 2013. Web. 9/9/2014
(2) “EZER KENEGDO.” Ransomed Heart Ministries. April 4, 2013. Web. 9/9/2014
(3) “Let’s start at the beginning, shall we?” Rachel Held Evans. 2012. Web. 9/9/2014



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