Curious Incidents of a Flailing Mermaid

There's a hair in my burger!

30 DBC - 5th September - Prompt: You take a big bite of a juicy burger (veggie or meat) and as you're chewing, you feel a long strand of hair entwined in the patty. What happens next?

I can’t tell you how desperate I was
To get that juicy burger in my paws
All that gooey, lovely cheese
And meaty goodness – yes please!
I drooled as I took my first bite
But gasped in horror – what a sight!
A long hair, direct from a redhead
I am blonde! Oh, this I what I dread!
Disaster! I shall fight – I’ll not sleep
I shall work day and night, sweep
Streets until the owner I do find
The one who blew my tiny mind!
How dare they poison my juicy burger?
I wonder if I can issue a court order!
In a rage I climb off my perch
So determined to go in search
Justice shall be served; it’ll be mine
Come to me you hairy little swine!
Up to the manager I feverishly charged
He spoke in a way that only enlarged
My anger, frustration and disgust
He stared in my eyes with little trust
I’m pretty sure I saw the ol’ man chuckle
I told him what for, he was starting to buckle
What’s so funny you weedy punk?
Did you know you smell like a skunk?
Ma’am it’s tricky, I wish no umbrage
Do you look in mirrors in this day and age?
I was quite confused, how terribly rude!
The ol’ man offered a mirror he’d accrued
Oh, wow! How frightfully awkward!
I stood a second as my mind whirred!
How does one forget dying their hair?
I totally forgot, blonde to red, I swear!
I turned on my heel and ran!
That’s when my burger fear first began.



In other news:
Umm I don’t think I have other news.
That was the third poem I’ve written today.
I quite like how the above turned out, so I made it into a static too: "The Awkward Burger Tale"