Everyday Canvas

Never Say, �Never�

In his book American Savage: Insights, Slights, and Fights on Faith, Sex, Love, and Politics, Dan Savage says, “There is no settling down without some settling for. There is no long-term relationship not just putting up with your partner’s flaws, but accepting them and then pretending they aren’t there.”

This is so true. One of things I have done that I had thought I could never do was to stay in a relationship for such a long time. Another thing I did--inside the same relationship--was to settle for stuff, which I had abhorred others doing. Yes, I settled and stayed for 47 years, and still continue staying. Moreover, I do not regret any second of it, either. Oh, the lies we tell ourselves and the decisions we make without grasping the entire situation fully!

I also thought, before I had any children, that my children would be perfect because I would never spoil them. To insure that, I even took a plethora of psychology and pedagogy courses in college. Hahahaha! Another decision down the drain. I spoiled them rotten. Not only them, but also the cats and the dog. And none of them were perfect. Cute and lovable and somewhat successful in their own way, but never perfect. And thank God, for their sweet imperfections!

One other thing I did, which I thought I could never do, was to stop keeping a journal. I did so, only because life took over, and family became the most important aspect of my days. I still wrote every now and then, but I also ventured away into other areas like work, art, management, and stuff like that, which I am not regretting because every single different thing I did gave me the world view that I have today. I do have a pang of guilt every now and then, however, for not keeping a journal for two decades that could have reminded me of what I was like and what my environment was like during those years.

As hindsight is 20-20, I sometimes think I should have stuck with linguistics and lit, and not convert that into a hobby, when I had invested an education and a degree in that area. But then, I also wonder if I had a choice there. Anyhow, what is done is done and cannot be undone.

Winding my life fast forward, I thought I could never write a novel in one month with NaNo, until 2009. In 2009, some friends encouraged me, so I wrote one, doing the pantser thing. It doesn’t qualify for a tiny medal or prize, let alone a serious one like Pulitzer , but it is okay. After that, I wrote a novel every November with NaNo, until now. This year, I am thinking maybe I’ll take a bow and exit, but like everything else, maybe not. We’ll see how that goes.

Looking back, it hasn’t been so bad. It has been as if I chose to take a lower-grade parking spot and walked, rather than stressed myself searching for the perfect spot. Probably that perfect spot can never exist for anyone, anyhow.

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Prompt: Things you have done that you thought you could never do.