My Journal #2

Robin Williams

Robin Williams is dead. What a shock it was to hear those words. I listened to a number of stations to be sure then called family and friends to tell them the news.

I felt sad. Very sad as the news of his death came forth that he had committed suicide. WHY? He was a great guy, so everyone says. He had so much to live for. What would drive a man like that to suicide?

Depression is something I don't understand. I hear about it and wonder what is going on their minds? Why do some get it and others not? What is it about the brain that puts a cloud so far down on a person's mind they can't see any sunshine?

I'd like to slap a huge Bible verse on it but I hear that isn't the answer either. There are many Christians that face depression. Its the trick of the Devil I'm sure and its something many people have to deal with.

Robin was a hugely funny man that popped on the TV screen as Mork. I loved to watch him heard that he adlibed so much many of his fellow actors had to just go along with his diatribe.  Similar to Tim Conway, once these comedians have a thought train it must be followed through to the end. 

When Jonathan Winters came on the show it was a mad house. I didn't like the concept of JW character, but the action between the two comedians was unmistakeable. They were just too funny. 

I loved his roles and he was an accomplished actor is his serious roles as he was in the comedic ones. I have never watched "Good Will Hunting." I have watched Dead Poets Society. I have to recitify that the concept of the story was not my favorite. In fact I still don't watch the whole movie. What impressed me was his teaching of the boys. His challenging them to step outside of tradition, the box, the norm and see what they could do to change the world around them. When he asked them to step on the desk, or to question authority in light of what was tradition not actual learning, I was moved.  Then at the end when the boys stood on their chairs and began to recite (my eyes are already tearing up again so I can hardly type) "Oh Captain, My Captain, our fearful trip is done....." I wept like a baby. What honor to a man that became their friend. 

It is my hope that at the funeral/memorial that someone will stand on their chair and recite that poem in honor of a great actor that has fallen. He wasn't an Abraham Lincoln, but he was a leader in his field. A man that stood out in a crowd and it probably wasn't what he wanted to do every time,but what he thought was expected of him.

I saw him as a man driven by his addictions, not just the drugs alcohol and depression, but driven by something deeper. He desired to be average. I can't say normal because I don't know what Normal is. But average is something he would have wanted.

To leave his house and not be mobbed by fans who adored him and expected him to be funny. When you are battling dark thoughts and constant insecurities that aren't true except in your mind, you'd like to never leave the house. There was the side of him that loved to entertain and that side warred with the dark side.  I'm so sorry to see the wrong one won.



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