Writings of G. B. Williams

My Hearts Desires

Let me lay this out there first, I am NOT DEPRESSED.  I am not doubting God or His word.  I am feeling some kind a way about the current status of my health, and the lives of my children and their families.  That being said, last night, I woke up, probably around 12:00am, and had to pour out my heart to God.  My heart is heavy on many levels, and every now and then I must share my heavy load with God so that I can relieve myself.

Dear God, you know my needs.  You know my desires.  You know my faults, and you know my strengths.  I rise this morning to ask that you don't let me walk much longer through the shadows of darkness, but to bring me into your precious light.  I am weak, and I am heavy laden, therefore, ONLY you can lighten my heavy load.

I come to you, first to ask that you forgive me my sins; to cleanse my mind, my thoughts, and my body so that I may present myself as a cleaning living and worthy sacrifice to you.  I repent this morning of all sins, all wrongdoings, all lies, and unworthy behavior.  I ask forgiveness, and beg for grace and mercy as I come before you with my heart wide open for you to judge me and my actions.  Lord God, please have mercy on me.  Thank you, and bless your Holy Name.

As I give up my will to you today, lead me, guide me, and keep me on your path of righteousness.  Hold to your higher standard of love and obedience.  Help me to walk in your will as I greet and meet this day challenges, and that through my walk, someone else will see you in me.  Thank you Lord Jesus for interceding with your Father on my behalf.

Now Lord God, I bring my children before you and into your presence as I name them one by one.

Shalinda;  Lord continue to bless and keep her.  Hold her in your arms and keep her.  Remind her daily of who she is and whose she is for without you nothing is.  Continue helping her to learn about you and to serve you as you desire and see fit  Bless her family and keep them safe.  My desire for her is your continued blessings, grace and mercy in her life, health, and wealth.

William:  Lord, grant him the same blessings and bring him to your throne of grace.  Thank you for granting him his new job and position.  Thank you for keeping and protecting his family as they traveled here and there these past few weeks.  My desire for him is your continued blessings, grace and mercy in his life, health, and wealth.

Nneka:  Lord bestow upon her all of the those blessings, but also restore her finances.  For the past year she and her husband has been unemployed and struggling to maintain a livelihood.  Lord, it seems that she went from the struggle of holding onto her very sick child to holding onto her very way of life. She appears to be in battle with demons on every turn -- no job, no finances, hospital bills, and all of the bills just seem to keep on piling up.  Every month her home is one more step toward foreclosure.  Her mind is trying to hold on to you, keep her marriage, hold her family together, and be what you would have her to be.  Lord, I am telling you all of this because I NEED to unload it, not because you do not know it already.  My desire for her is your continued blessings, grace, and mercy in her life, health, and wealth.  I also desire that you move the demons that are holding her down that are causing this current turmoil in her life.  God you brought healing to the baby when we agreed on one accord and asked you.  You did what the doctors said was impossible.  So, I know you are capable of the impossible, and Nneka is in need of a financial miracle.  She needs a job, dear God.  She needs to be able to get up and go to work every day.  Her husband needs a job.  He needs to be able to provide for his family as a man is supposed to do.  Dear God these are my desires for Nneka and her family.

Ashika:  Father, this child has me in tears.  She is wandering around this Country feeling lost, depressed, and forgotten.  She feels that her life is in jeopardy.  After years of mental abuse in her marriage, and trying to raise four children, she had to flee her home.  The stress and turmoil led to a nervous breakdown.  Being young, she wanted to continue to have a life, and someone to love her as she felt she deserved.  Walking out of her marriage vows and into the arms of someone else.  Not being the judge, but bung the mother that I am, I am worried that each step she takes toward becoming whole again seems to land her further down the wrong path.  No, she did not start out expecting to meet someone to fulfill her needs, and stop the pain, but she did.  She did not expect or even believe that she was still worthy of love.  She learned that she was and that someone would go to the end of the world with her and for her.  The price has been so far, the loss of her children to the same person that was abusing her, her husband who has the money, resources, and time to put into his fight to destroy her.  I rebuke this in your name.  Because she was totally dependent on him, when she left, she left with nothing, but God you own it all, and I trust your will and your judgment.  I ask you to make her whole.  To heal her mind, her body, her soul, and yes, Lord, her finances.  Give her the resources to successfully end this marriage, get her children back or at least the right as a mother to visit, see, hold, and touch them.  She gave birth to them, cared for the, trained them, taught them, and love them with all of her heart.  These past few months have been hard on her and have taken their toll, but YOU oh God YOU, can turn the sky from blue to gray.  You hold the oceans in their bays.  You know where every ant burrows, and you protect them.  My desire Lord is for you to protect my child.  Give her traveling mercy.  Meet us in the courthouse on Monday.  Touch the heart of the presiding/ruling judge.  I pray that true justice be done, that the fact (the real fact and the only truth) be heard, weighed, and the right justice prevails.  YOU, oh Lord is the ONLY one that can do this.  He has had a lawyer from day one.  She has just obtained one, but LORD, you have been practicing law, ruling since the beginning of time, and I know you as a lawyer in the courtroom, and I am putting my trust in you!  My Father, these are my desire for my daughter Ashika:  Lord is that you bring my child through this in her right mind, with good health, with the peace and joy that comes from knowing you.  Quiet her spirits, and wrap her in your loving arms as you heal her mind, body, and soul.

Then Lord, there are those sixteen grandchildren and great grands that you have given me.  For each one of them, I am forever grateful.  I am even more in debt to you than ever before for the love and mercy that you allow them to share with me.  They are special because you gave them to me, but they are special because of the love you show them each day, all day, every hour, every minute, and every second.  PLEASE, Father God, continue to watch over them, keep them, show them your will and your way.  Help them to find their way to you.  The word has been taught, and you promised that if they were raised in the right way, they would not depart from you.  I believe.  I trust you.  It is my heart's desire.

Not to leave out anyone or any desire that I have this morning, Lord, I ask that you heal my body; that you keep it strong; that you keep me in my right mind; that you protect me and my physical house from harm and from danger.  I ask you again Lord for long life to see my youngest grandchild grow up and get married and have children of her own.  You made and kept promises to me all of my life, and this is one that I desire because of what I have seen her go through from birth, and watched your hand of birth hold and keep her here.  I KNOW what you can do.  I have SEEN it with my own two eyes.  I WITNESSED it with my own daughter, and again in my granddaughter.  I HELD your miracle in my arms and have WATCHED my son grow up into an outstanding man.  I KNOW, Lord God, the strength of your love and caring for me and THIS family, and I THANK YOU!

These are my heart's desires, and I place them at your feet knowing that you knew them already, but also understand my need to speak them into existence.  Thank you Lord.  Thank you God.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Lord, I can't thank you enough for what you have already done, and thank you seems so small compared to all of the desires that I have laid at your feet, but it is all that I have, and I give it all to you!

AMEN