Death and Relations Can be Painful

The Funeral

Left for New Jersey at 5:00am.  Arrived at Morristown New Jersey at 9:00am.  The wake was just beginning when we entered the Calvary Baptist Church.

The family arrived in numbers as did friends and well wishers.  It was an experience.  As people came and filed by the deceased, some paused, some stood for minutes, and others kept coming back.  You could tell that it was hard to let go.  You knew by watching those that were so emotionally attached that it would be days before they were willing to accept their loss.

The mother sat in absolute amazement.  She just sat and watched the deceased.  She spoke very few words although everyone stopped, hugged her, and whispered a few words to her.  After about forty-five minutes, someone said to her, "He should not be dead."  The mother replied, "He is in a better place.  He will not suffer any more."  I watched the mother's body reject the idea, but some her fighting to accept the concept of a "better place."  She retained her composure and her stare at the deceased.

The funeral director came up and asked the family to come up to the decease and say their final goodbyes as he closed the coffin for the last time.  The mother had to be helped up.  She swayed lightly, but she managed to get up.  She stood very strong as she watched the funeral director close the coffin on her son.  When that was done she and the family turned and walked out of the church for the processional to come back in for the service.  She looked straight ahead.

The service began.  The songs were song.  Prayers were prayed.  The program was read. His aunt gave reflections, and then the minister came forward with the eulogy.  He said that it was a home going celebration, and that the congregation should rejoice.  No one was rejoicing.  A few were giving thanks with scattered amens, but people were feeling their loss.  They were fixed in the moment of reality.  The coffin had been closed.  The pictures were removed.  The deceased had been seen for the last time.  Rejoicing would have to come later.  So, as the minister preached about Jesus calming the storm and the sea, many meditated on the minister's text, "Peace Be Still!"

At the very end, the funeral director came up along with his assistant and said, "ashes to ashes, dust to dust...  The deceased was being cremated.  His ashes were to be returned to his mother.

The funeral was over.