Curious Incidents of a Flailing Mermaid

Ridiculousness - Part one

Welcome to my Reality - week 1, prompt 1 - What made you laugh today?

I'm going back in time slightly in this post. So far this week, I could've easily blogged everyday but I've been too busy/frazzled to do so. I'll start with Monday. This three-parter goes from Monday to Wednesday. However, I may not get round to writing parts two and three until Friday because I'm on a training course tomorrow. Considering I am meant to be off for two weeks, this schedule is ridiculous. BOOM ... see the ridiculousness has begun.

So, on Monday I spent the day with my good friend Donna. She used to live 15 miles away and we weren't seeing each other very often anymore. Recently she moved 65 miles away and we see each other more than ever - as in once a week or more. Strange but true. She was in the area on Sunday, dropping her kid off at his dad so she came and stopped over.
We chatted, smoked too much, took a road trip to her old town (dump) and ate McDonalds. A VERY healthy start to my easter holidays, I think you'll agree! But the whole time I was avoiding something...

You see, I "agreed" to do something this week (today - Wednesday - part three) that required me to wear a wedding dress! Now, obviously, I couldn't wear my own because that's special. So, someone from the place requesting this lent me her old wedding dress. Chris brought this dress home on Friday night, laughing to himself. When I opened the bag, I realised why he was laughing. It was hideous. So hideous that I looked at it for a minute and then hung it on my office door and got on with my weekend.

When Donna and I got in from our mini trip, I knew it was time to try it on. Sheeesh. My PA was there when we got in. I have PAs to help me with house/"life" stuff because if I tried to do house stuff on top of everything else I do, I'd literally die. Anyway, I get on very well with this PA, so I explained the dress and told her to go see for herself. She did so and came back, declaring that it was worse than I'd described {e:facepalm) Helpful!

Nonetheless, I went, with Jane's help (my PA) to try it on. It was worse! It was yellow for a start - I'm pretty sure it was ivory to start. It was massive. I was told it was a size 10/12, it definitely was not... 16 maybe? We couldn't tie it tight enough at the back. I'm also pretty sure that, if I'd tried hard enough, I could have squeezed a newborn baby down into the chest area. And, if you really need to top it off, it was mouldy!

Jane and Donna were crying with laughter. So was I, but I was also thinking "crap, I have 24 hours to find a non-mouldy wedding dress that fits!"

I found one... on Amazon... £25... next day delivery! Genius.

End of part one... I'm tired and I want to finish my book before sleep

Stay tuned... It gets more ridiculous!