Off the Cuff / My Other Journal

Solitude or Not

People are wonderful. Friends and family are great, and I have to have them.

On the other hand, I am my own best friend, no question about it. Being alone is not sad or pitiable; it is enjoying my own company, especially if I choose to do so. I was an only child to a slew of adults while growing up. This may be part of the reason for the fact that I learned to be alone and embraced my aloneness so well.

There are places, cities, situations where being alone without a partner or friends and family can be a problem. This problem sometimes leads to the fear of being alone. We all experience this fear at one time or another, but this fear, when it is taken to its extremes, can be a cause for great misery.

Yet, a human is like a heart that contracts and expands incessantly as it pumps the blood through the body. I can contract for a time, but to be alive, I must also expand. I can be alone and happy, but I can be with people and be happy, too. Thoreau said, "I never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude." I can totally understand this stance, although I couldn't, wouldn't go live in the wilderness like he did. For one thing, I like my creature comforts. Second, as much as I like my solitude, I like to be around people, too.

Anyhow, if a person can accept himself and can look at who he is closely, then being alone should not be a problem for that person. Being alone does not mean being lonely, either. Loneliness has desperation and sadness in it. Loneliness has to do with feelings of abandonment. Being alone, however, is being solitary and doing it well.

While alone, I can do many things that I know will absorb my attention and make my time worthwhile, which is much better than being in the company of people who may be boring for me. But I am not only talking about doing things that I like to do when alone. I am also talking about sitting quietly and turning inward. This turning inward is about freeing me and growing, while I get to know myself.

Thus, being alone is empowering. It is taking care of my own emotional needs myself and gaining confidence and self-sufficiency. In short, being alone is feeling my own strength.

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Prompt: Can you be alone with yourself?