Who do I still think I am??

This one's about to not get medieval.

30DBC PROMPT: "Let your mind wander back to the Middle Ages and imagine you are a scribe in the King's Court. Tell us about the goings-on in the castle (accents optional, but encouraged )."

Good afternoon folks...wow. I have an overactive imagination at times but even still, I don't wanna touch this prompt. I'm kinda glad not having the internet for about a week pretty much took me out of the running in this month's "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" ...I can't imagine how annoyed I would be if I needed this entry to secure some kind of winner's position.

But hey, to each his or her own, I suppose. It's probably been since elementary school that I last studied the Middle Ages, for all I know, and the topic is of no interest to me at all. History isn't my strong suit and I honestly don't know that I know enough to even try to make something remotely readable from what we have to work with.

Furthermore, who in their right mind would trust me with the feathered quill to take notes on all matters regarding their reign? Would I have some autonomy over my words, or would the king get all Rupert Murdoch on me and make sure I spun everything to his liking? I'd so rather prefer to be an independent journalist rather than being able to say what I want so long as the guy frontin' the operation is down with it.

And accents? What the hell does a "Middle Ages accent" even sound like? Is it "Olde English"? Full of words like "thou" and "ye"? My experience with OE is limited to 40's of malt liquor at my first apartment. Is jousting acceptable? And cauldrons...there has to be cauldrons of oil I can pour from a balcony onto a random crowd of angry castle-stormers while I clang around in a suit of armor.

Dammit...I just remembered I'm not in charge, and all I get is a stupid scroll and the blood of some crippled ogre with which I'm supposed to note the poppin' events of the regime. I suppose "job security" entails making sure I don't get sentenced to the guillotine, and the least fair of the maidens is my reward. That's no kinda life.

I just...I can't do it. Hands down, this is the hardest prompt ever. I can't even make stuff up. I'd have a better chance at trying to decode science, and I hate science (mainly because it's so true, and I'm not very good at it). Could I just be the court jester instead? At least I'd have a better shot at knowing where I stand at the end of the day (because dead jokers tell no lies).

BCF PROMPT: "It's National Goof Off Day. What do you do consider goofing off? Any particular day come to mind that you recently did something totally out of character for you?"

Yeah! Finally, a day that might've been conceived with myself in mind. Although I'm not sure I'm comfortable defining "goofing of", partly because of the whole "one man's ceiling is another man's floor" way of looking at life...what you think it is and where I stand might be totally different.

I have a natural curiosity to find fun in even the most mundane things. There's a need within me to make life interesting; everything always being the same and boring and fulfilling limited expectations...that's not for me. Repetition, for all of its grounding purposes, kinda frightens me.

I have to stay engaged and be entertained, or seek out another form of stimulation. Maybe that's why I can appear at times like I'm goofing off; really, all I'm doing is finding another way to do the same thing I've been doing all along. It could be a harmless prank at the expense of a friend or coworker, or I could shake up a writing prompt and take it in a direction previously unthought of. There's really no method about it other than there's something I need that normalcy doesn't provide.

I'll share one tiny example (out of many) where I felt the need to deviate from what I was supposed to be doing. It happened recently, and I wish I'd taken a picture to commemorate the occasion, but like a lot of things born out of spontaneity I didn't have the presence of mind and the moment was lost shortly after it happened because, well, other important stuff got in the way.

I've been working at a place called CAPCO for a little bit (http://www.capco.org/) in their "Family Essentials" department. Basically, we accept donations of clothing and simple household items, and we offer them to low-income and disadvantaged families in the area. It's kinda like a store within an office building, only the merch is gently used and free (to an extent). It's not a bad gig...it's rewarding in that you get to help people out that need it (once you look past the jerk-offs that abuse it).

On one of my last days there (I wasn't sure then if I was gonna be pulled back out because of my lingering ankle problems) I was tasked with cleaning out the bin of kids toys. There was a large toy box and a laundry basket of them under a rack of infant clothes, and the useless crap was to be thrown out. Not a problem; I'm not invested in stuff kids wouldn't play with even if the parents are destitute or ridiculous anyway.

This rack of baby clothes had two parts; an upper and a lower. Again, I wish I'd thought to grab a pic because no matter how well I describe my shenanigans, it still won't serve the point.

While going through the toys, I came across a doll. That plastic rubbery kind, maybe a bit more than a foot tall and thicker than a Barbie. Her hair looked like it'd been snipped off by a hairdresser in the making. And she was naked, except for a pair of ill-fitting (by even a toy's standard) tight white pants. I did what only the most reasonable people of my ilk would've done...I sat her on the lower portion of the infant clothes rack, turned her smiling head, raised one of her arms, and silently declared her a pole-dancer. A stripper. Lady of the night. One of them Satan-lovin' jezebels. I was quite satisfied with my work, even if I was the only audience who would appreciate my warped humor.

And this is why, at age 38, I'll be going back to school with the intention of earning a degree...so I can goof off at a higher level (and make more money doing it). Oh America, you're so eager to give me these chances that I'm only too quick to take.

MUSICAL BREAK!!

It's another "Soundtracker Saturday", sponsored by the lovely and talented lizco252 and "Invalid Item" . I had a really hard time trying to come up with a song today, because of the aforementioned struggle with the 30DBC prompt, so I went a totally different route and opened YouTube to see what it had recommended for my viewing pleasure...and too many options sometimes are worse than none at all. I'm going with Taking Back Sunday and "Timberwolves At New Jersey" (lyrics: http://songmeanings.com/songs/view/145380/) because Tell All Your Friends (http://www.amazon.com/Tell-All-Your-Friends-Vinyl/dp/B00008GQYB/ref=pd_sim_sbs_m...) is easily in my all-time top ten list of favorite/influential albums...and not because they have a new record out or got the original lineup back together after selling out for a major label. I actually flirted with the idea of posting "Your Own Disaster" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBZGHvAMFBA) because it's such a great song in its own right, but I'm in a much more upbeat kinda mood, and the first twenty seconds of "T-wolves" makes me smile and want to pogo in my seat. And the video is a pretty cool concept as well.

I got the mic and you got the mosh pit.

THE DAILY BOX SCORE:

Woke up this morning (hey, that's always a good thing, am I right?) to see that it was again snowing in my neighborhood (which to me is never a good thing). I think jefferymaine hit it on the head with Linked 'Note' no longer available.. Enough is enough. I do wish I could pull off some kind of crazy "let's have some spring" dance though. There's probably a good reason why my dance moves aren't linked with Mother Nature's tempermentalness.

I will, for the time being, eschew the annoying fact that there is no official WDC emoticon for bacon (the crispy, amazing kind in strips...not the floppy round Canadian stuff shot out of a tube and sliced), although there is to my knowledge at least one serviceable one (help me out, Jay's debut novel is out now! ...I think it was you who shared it once with me). I don't normally eat pancakes...it's just not my preferred breakfast meal. But I've been craving them a lot lately...until Elle - on hiatus nearly ruined all that's well and good about pancakes and bacon with "Note: If I had my way, I would make it illegal to serve ...". I mean, c'mon...lemon juice? For reals? And what's "golden syrup"? If it's not maple syrup or corn syrup or gravy (gross thought, but I had to put that in there 'cuz that was among my initial reactions), it probably belongs nowhere near my breakfast. If it's honey, that's one thing. Ya know what? Scrap the whole thing. No pancakes for me, but extra bacon. I don't even want to think about pancakes any other way than what I'm accustomed to (because if there's not chocolate chips in them, I'm probably not gonna order 'em ).

Never did get to the bottom of the whole "Let's change our WDC handles to reflect medieval times!" thing other than to hear it was turned into a mess by someone who got carried away with it. And that makes me not wanna know anything more about it...I'm just relieved I didn't get caught up in any of it. That's stress I don't need to be putting myself in the way of.

So let's recap what I've learned so far: the "Middle Ages" aren't my thing, I do inappropriate things at inopportune moments, and the best Taking Back Sunday album is their first one (all my opinions, of course ). And something about pancakes, but we decided not to go there. Anything else? Didn't think so. Peace, that's what girls' dreams are made of, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!

Enjoy your breakfast.