Shouts From Down Under

Warning; this blog entry could be an awkward one to read

Don't read this if you feel squeamish. You have been warned.

What is your awkward moment? Do we all struggle with the occasional loss of cohesion to social stability? Do you sometimes end up in situations that seem ok, but you have a combination of déjà vu and the feeling that everyone else received a book of social etiquette rules at birth, and you didn't?

http://www.skynews.com.au/offbeat/article.aspx?id=954614&cid=BP_RSS_ODDSPOT_1_Ta...

My awkward moments, the few I can remember anyway.

I find it very awkward handing over a warm urine sample to medical staff. It's sort of weird. Something hospital standard clean, in a sterilized sample bottle and taken by professional, qualified and clinically correct staff.

I mean, it shouldn't be awkward, but...that's a very personal item, somehow amusing in a sense, and there's the very warm temperature thing. It's been in my body. Now it's in their hand. Sorta gross.

Ok. Moving on.

Another awkward moments in recent years, but funny, was while discussing my newly diagnosed bipolar, and the mood stabilising medication.
I remember saying I'm a nutter now, on crazy people's tablets.
A close relative said, well thanks! I've been on those for years! Luckily this person could see I was joking. But it was still...awkward.

There was once a time I was very crook with Diarrhoea, and as usual these things happen in the most embarrassing way. I'd just left my wife at her Tupperware managers unit meeting (in western suburbs of Sydney) and took the two kids we had at that time, and decided to go shopping at the local Westfield shopping mall.

Well, we'd hardly found a park when that must-go-right-now urge hit me full force. I had one kid in a pram and the other being towed along at speed
I'm sure every toilet had been removed the day before by someone, but finally I spotted one up a couple of slow moving escalators and through crowds of people coming the other way. Like a nightmare yes.
In the door of the Disabled one so the pram would fit, shut the door and...

No, I didn't make it. And it was everywhere.
Cleaned up best I could, with the kids eyes like large moon shaped saucers, wondering why Daddy was being such a scary, messy, and smelly person.
Next problem was I had no underwear as it was "unusable".
Down to a clothing shop where I found underwear and grabbed the first packet I could see, in my rush to get my foul smelling person out of there ASAP!
What did I buy without looking?

The largest men's Y fronts available.
Yes, it was very awkward.

Why am I relating this? Because it's traumatic, Blog-worthy, and needs to be shared so that I feel better, even if you feel traumatised in the hearing.

There were a lot of other awkward moments in my life, many that were not my fault, but if I hadn't been there, they wouldn't have happened.
I'm a bit like the boy Ioane (yoh ah nay) in John O'Grady's book No Kava For Johnny. I can highly recommend this yarn. His brother Dennis O'Grady wrote a very funny book called A Bottle Of Sandwiches which is quite humorous also.

My writing isn't humorous.

http://books.google.com.au/books/about/No_Kava_for_Johnny.html?id=R_lLAAAAIAAJ

I saw this just now and decided in a Bipolar moment to post it here. The young people and their posts of today (I shake my head and click my tongue; tsk tsk tsk) I'm glad we never got up to this sort of thinking when I was a kid.



Do you have awkward moments in writing? Have you written stuff and later saw a giant mistake / omission? Well, as long as we catch it before it's published, I guess.
Sparky

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