Who do I still think I am??

This one's about fixing the news.

30DBC PROMPT: "Pick an article in the news that caught your attention over the weekend and tell us about it (or do a basic recap of the top news stories or bizarre stories of interest over the weekend)."

Good evening, fine readers. On the heels of yesterday's entry, where I said (and you can quote me on the quote-unquote) something like "I'm not crazy about the Sunday Review", comes what's probably my favorite of all kinds of "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS"  prompts: the time-honored tradition of skewering random news stories. I'm gonna be totally up-front on this and say (if I haven't said it before) that if the powers that be over at 30DBC HQ ever decide on changing up the routine a bit (in part so that we don't have to commit the sin of fiction-based blog entries), writing about a crazy or bizarre news item should get some consideration as one of the weekly "themes". I haven't figured out which day I think it should replace, because in my opinion there are pros and cons for every day ending in "ay". But as someone who's been through a few of these challenges, I'm merely suggesting that maybe now might be a good time to see what else is available in terms of what entries we're writing on different days...the 30DBC already has a built-in "trial period" every other month that we could be taking more advantage of, so why not use that in part as a testing ground for new ideas? Just sayin'.

I think I've gone on long enough about that...sorry to have wasted so much time on something totally unrelated.

As I was saying before I allowed myself to be sidetracked by...myself, I really enjoy this kind of prompt. The world is a weird place, and I'm very thankful we have the internet to capture that for us in ways that once existed only in the cheap rags you'd find next to grocery store checkout stands. I've got three brief articles I was fortunate enough to come across this weekend, and I'll share a brief synopsis with you.

From Spin Magazine: Paul McCartney, Members Of Nirvana Win A Grammy http://www.spin.com/articles/dave-grohl-paul-mccartney-best-rock-song-grammy-201...

This article on the surface isn't weird or anything...until you carefully consider the strangeness of it all in context. One of the primary singer/songwriters from the greatest rock and roll band of the sixties (ok, and ev-arrrrr) cuts a record with the surviving members of arguably one of the greatest bands of the nineties, and it winds up winning a Grammy. But the picture is what kills me (and I won't even get into the .gif at the end of the article, where Macca and Dave Grohl are photobombed by a Rob Ford lookalike)...Pat Smear (far right, touring guitarist for Nirvana and occasional member of Grohl's Foo Fighters) with grey hair and looking more like a soccer dad rather than an Alternative Nation denizen, and Krist Novoselic (far left, Nirvana bassist) looking like he stole Bob Dylan's wardrobe if Dylan were freakishly taller than most any other bass player in the world. I know there have been much weirder collaborations in the past, but none of them makes you simultaneously feel old and giddily grateful for growing up when you did as the "Sirvana" pairing up does...it totally blows this away: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgPMiAaelFc.

From The Toronto Sun: Employees Find Out They Lost Their Jobs On Facebook http://player.socastsrm.com/player/link?h=322|6362919d41dc3d8036288660885b1888&u...|http://player.socastsrm.com/player/link?h=322|6362919d41dc3d8036288660885b1888&u...

I guess it shouldn't be surprising that people can lose their jobs because of things they post on Facebook...but to find out you're fired via Facebook? That's harsh. That's callous and cowardly. It's definitely unprofessional. The owner of the restaurant in question said he's "new at running the business" and "the situation could've been handled better". Ya think?? Sounds to me like this owner lacks some serious interpersonal skills.

From Gawker: Truck Containing Barbecued Ribs Catches Fire http://gawker.com/76-000-pounds-of-ribs-burn-in-wonderful-smelling-truc-15100819...

This has to be one of the better "so-true-it's-funny, so-funny-it's-true" things I've seen all weekend...and as usual per sites like Gawker, Deadspin and Jezebel, the comments section is even more hilarious. A truck carrying tons of meat goes up in flames...a devastating loss and an accident that could've been much worse. But it's like a giant frickin' barbecue! Do you even try to put it out? I don't really care for barbecued ribs all that much, yet I'd consider dodging a few flames for a bit of that! Have someone whip up some cheesy garlic mashed potatoes and a pot of baked beans, bust out a boom box, barricade a few streets, and you've got one hell of a block party!

See...we should do this more often. One article, once a week...it wouldn't be all that bad now, would it? Sure as hell beats pretending. Makes for an informative and off-beat look at life and how it's different from the ones we all live.

BCF PROMPT: "It is National Thomas Crapper Day. Don't worry, not going to ask you about toilets. Crapper did not create toilets but he did improve them. What inventions would you improve with your new found skills that will only last for 72 hours?"

Huh. This requires some quick thinking right from the get-go, and a few questions that need immediate answers. Like, how did I get these "newfound skills"? Do the skills last for 72 hours, or just the improvements? Either way, what happens then? And why am I always questioning things and making them seem harder than they really are?

All valid points. Let's assume I've crossed over through some kind of magical window that gives me mad wicked powers to do whatever I want for three days, and the effects from that period are permanent. Already, my fiction radar is pinging like the microwave that reminds you every thirty seconds the timer's up.

Here's what I'd do, and since I don't have a means of knowing how I would do it, let's just go along with it being done. I'd revamp the way we disseminate information so that stories like this reach more eyeballs: http://www.usatoday.com/story/money/business/2014/01/27/procter-gamble-bold-flav.... What if more news articles, product launches, or groundbreaking events sounded like they were ripped from the commercials during Saturday morning cartoons? How great would that be?

I estimate it would make mundane matters so much more attractive to everyone...and face it, nobody really wants to deal with anything in a grown-up way. Look at all the things we have now in the adult world that are derivatives of something we had/enjoyed from our childhood. All the different flavors and scents of products that take up entire aisles of grocery stores, when forty years ago it would've been a shelf or two. Games that simulate real-life experiences that we play in real time with real money, as opposed to waiting our turn. Instead of being fed a line of crap about being anything we want while being pigeon-holed into someone else's concepts, people are actually being what they want. Let's take all of that and roll it up and turn all of our information sources into something more practical and engaging...something that appeals to the child in all of us. Do more with less, for the short attention spans likely caused by lead paint chips and playing under power lines. Life's too short as it is to be hyper-serious and stuffy and mature all the time...if more things were even the slightest bit fun like they were when we were young, the world would probably be a much better place.

MUSICAL BREAK!!

That Grammy-winning song I referenced in the beginning of today's entry...

THE DAILY BOX SCORE:

Just sharing this incase you're a WDC member and haven't seen it yet in regards to the outage from last night...change your passwords regularly. "Note: Tonight, we noticed some peculiar activity on Wri..."

250: Yup, definitely time to purge the ol' portfolio and get it reorganized. I maxed it out last night...first thing to go will be pictures that are anywhere between three and eight years old. Kinda sucks, but it's time to move on. Oh who am I kidding...it's been time to move on.

Happy birthday to a dear friend of mine...hope it's a great one, Goldie!

Because this is kinda relatable to the second part of today's entry to kids around my age (maybe older, maybe younger):

I know I don't ask a lot of you guys, so when I do you better do it but if you could take a minute to check out "Invalid Item"  and then hit up the "Blogging Bliss Newsletter Forum"  to say hi and let us know what you think, we'd really appreciate it.

Only a few hours left in this round of "Invalid Item" ...and as of now (9:15pm) just two of the four challengers have their entries in before the deadline of midnight tonight. Unless the rest happen to come in during the next hour or so, I probably won't read any of them until tomorrow afternoon (because if you've learned nothing more about me after yesterday's entry, I believe in a little thing called "procrastination"). If you haven't checked out any of the entries in this contest yet, I suggest you do...and drop a line in the forum letting lazymarionette know that she's done a great job organizing the whole shebang.

Wow...holy crap did it get late all the sudden...time to wrap this up and see what everyone else around here is up to for a little bit before I move on with the rest of my evening. Peace, cut me some slack, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!