Destiny's End

Sabastian

         Sabastian should have been thinking about getting an alignment or whatever his 1969 Jeepster Commando Station Wagon needed to tighten up the steering. As he maneuvered along the twisting gravel road, he didn't even notice the looseness in the steering wheel. He had when he first purchased the old rust bucket, but that was three years ago and he had become used to it.
Besides, his mind was on last night. He had been out camping, needing the quiet time to think about his relationship with Janie. He had met her during his first year of college, and things had moved along very quickly. Probably because they were both so lonely, but also because he had never been in a serious relationship before.
Sure, he had dated in high school, but not much, he just didn't have time. He was a good student, getting good grades, which took a lot of his time. He also had to work in his dad's five and dime after school. It wasn't much of a business, but it paid the bills. Not only did his mom, dad, and he split all the working hours, they also lived above the store in a small apartment.
         He pumped the brakes for a rather sharp turn as he thought back about high school and how unfair it seemed at the time. He wanted to participate in sports and other activities, but they didn't have the money. They didn't even have enough left over after the bills were paid to hire a part-time clerk to help out in the store. He always thought his life would be like his parents, that after graduation, he would just commit more of his time to the store.
         He was surprised when he opened his graduation card from his parents and found a check inside for $5,000. His mouth must have dropped to the floor as he looked at the check. His dad explained it wasn't any good yet, but soon. He had sold the store and they would be moving into a different apartment in a couple of months. The check was for him to use to go to college. "I know it's not a lot, and tuition is pretty expensive, but it will give you a start." His dad had explained, adding, "You should be able to get some grants and stuff, your smart enough, and you can work in your off time for the rest."
         He didn't know how to respond, it was more than he had ever imagined. He gave his dad and mom a big hug, but didn't know what to say. "Thanks," was all that came out. The next few weeks had gone by fast as he looked into scholarships and grants at different schools around the area. He found one that offered some interesting classes, and his application was accepted. By the time the store was sold he had everything set up to move into the dorms and start earning his degree.
         His mom had been a bit disappointed, he could tell by her eyes as he told her what he had decided on for his education. She had asked him, "Pete, have you decided what you are going to take up in college?"
         "Entertainment Design & Technology Associate in Science." He didn't like to use his first name, Peter, or even Pete, but his mom insisted on using the name she gave him. She had picked his name from a music group she was very fond of back when. And, with a last name like Pawley, it just fit so nice, she would add. "Peter Pawley, like the singing trio, Peter, Paul, and Mary."
         He chuckled, and spoke to the Jeep as he careened around another sharp curve, "I bet someone had those guys blasting Puff The magic Dragon over your one speaker when you were new."
         He pictured some hip looking dude driving along with a pretty young flower girl sitting next to him, their voices singing off key and out of time with the old AM radio. The image of the hippie chick faded out and the girl he met last night took her place. Only, she wasn't sitting next to him on the seat, she was lying in his arms looking up at him. He could even smell her muskiness, still wet from swimming, and he could taste the sweetness of her kiss as his lips had met hers.
         With a moan he whispered, "Oh Lanae, why did you have to be married! And, why do I have to pick the married ones, anyway? Both you and Janie, what the hell!"
         He had met Janie shortly after moving into the dormitory at college. He had a roommate when he moved in, but Doug was never around much. Sabastian had needed a computer for some of his classes, and Doug told him to go ahead and use his. One night while doing his homework, he had come across a link to a dating site. Curious, he followed it and soon had his own account set up.
         He received an e-mail a few days later, stating someone on the site wanted to meet him. He looked at her profile and replied to her message. Soon they were chatting and then sending e-mails back and forth. By spring, they had met twice. The first time she came to visit him. She was going to see a friend, and it wasn't much out of the way. They enjoyed a nice lunch of pizza and talked for a couple hours, but she had to get going. They parted after sharing a couple of kisses.
         The next time they got together, they met half way at a small town. They had picked a little cafto meet at, and again had a nice lunch. After lunch, she asked him to come over to her motel room for a while. He agreed and soon they were making out on the bed. She wasted no time in stripping him out of his cloths, and he offered no resistance. She stopped kissing him long enough to kick her shoes off and lift the dress over her head. He had just seconds to take in her beautiful naked body before she was climbing over him and pressing her lips to his once more.
         The first time only lasted a few minutes. She sat upright and looked down at him. "Do you always come that fast?"
         "I don't know, I've never made love before." His voice wavered and he felt his cheeks flush as he admitted he was a virgin.
         She smiled and slid herself down his legs until she came to the edge of the bed. Standing at his feet, she smiled, "Your first time, huh? Well, then let's see if you have another round in you."
         Her mouth engulfed him, and soon he was rock hard again. She stopped and pulled him up, then lie down beside him. "You're on top this round," she whispered as she guided him between her legs.
         They spent the entire night together, finally going to sleep as the sky began to lighten. He woke to her kissing him. She was leaning over him, dressed. "I have to get going, but we can get together again soon, I promise." She kissed him again and she was gone.
         He lie there on the bed watching her, unsure what to say. She turned and blew a kiss to him at the now open door. He smiled, but still didn't say anything. Then she was gone. Later that afternoon, he sent her a message thanking her for a very wonderful night. Days went by and he didn't hear anything from her.
         A week later he had an e-mail in his inbox from her saying she enjoyed herself very much and was looking forward to the next time they could get together. As he read it, he seen her avatar show she was now online. Quickly he typed out, "Hi, how are you."
"I'm fine, just missing you." I can't hardly wait till we get a chance to be together again. I want to spend a whole weekend together with you."
         He felt his heart thumping as he read her words. "I have a three day weekend coming up, I can come over to see you this time if you want." He was so excited, he had to correct his text twice before he could send.
         "No. That would not be good." Her message flashed on his screen just seconds after his was sent.
         "I could make it the weekend after if that would be better. I can skip class on Monday, I only have one."
         "It's not just the timing, you can't come over here; ever. I'm sorry, I should have explained things. You can't come over because I'm married. I'm going to leave him, but I haven't yet because I don't have any means to support myself yet."
         He didn't know what to say; he felt numb. He couldn't remember any more of that conversation. He did remember getting up and going over to the bed and sitting there with his head in his hands. "What did I get into," was all he could ask himself.
         The next couple of days were busy, but then his long weekend was there and he didn't want to sit at home and think about how messed up things were with Janie. Besides, she kept sending messages to him, and he didn't know what to say to her. He liked her, in fact, he liked her a lot, but he didn't want to get involved with a married woman. "Kind of late now, isn't it? You should have found out before you slept with her; hell, before you met her." He said out loud.
         He waited for a few seconds, as if he expected an answer. When none came, he continued on, "Well, feller, what you going to do now?" He walked over to the window and looked out. Then he turned and paced back to the center of the room. "I don't know, damn it, I don't know what to do. I know if I stay here talking to myself I'm going to go crazy. And, I know if I talk to Janie, I'm not going to know what to tell her."
         "But you have to tell her something, you can't just ignore her." Just because she's married doesn't change anything. You still need to tell her what's going on, what you're going to do. But what am I going to do?"
         That was the problem, wasn't it, what to do. It's either continue seeing her, or ending it. And, the problem was, he didn't want to end it, he just didn't want her to be married. "But she is married, and you need to figure this out."
         He got up and went to the closet. He needed to think things out, and he needed time and a place to do that. He had the time, but he couldn't think here, not when every time he looked she was sending him an e-mail or a message. No, here wasn't any good, but he knew where he could think. The same place he went all the time when he needed time to think, or even just to get away from things, camping.
         He had most of his camping items packed in a big tub with wheels, ready to go. The few things he didn't have in there, he rounded up. An hour later, his Jeep was packed full, and he was stopping at the Pump-n-Shop where he worked. Jenny, the lady who owned the place, was working.
         "Hi Sabastian, what's up? Don't tell me you miss the place so much you're going to hang around on your days off now."
"Hi Jenny. No, I don't miss it that much. I just needed to pick up a couple of things to take with me camping this weekend. I needed to look and see what time I come in on Monday, too."
         Jenny bent down and came back up with a paper. She handed it over the counter to him as she said, "I don't have you coming in on Monday. Remember, Dave switched with you a couple weeks ago when you needed to go out of town."
         "Oh yeah, I guess I had forgotten that." That had been the weekend he had gone home to visit his parents. "I guess I have a longer weekend than I thought."
         "It's supposed to be nice straight through mid-week, stay out camping and enjoy yourself. Who knows, maybe you'll meet a nice girl over there. So, where you going camping at, anyway?"
         Sabastian smiled as he answered, "I'm going over to the Shady Grove Campground. It's mostly set up for tents, and it's always quiet and nice there. I can't stay past Sunday though, I have class on Monday nights. Remember? That's why I can't work Monday nights."
         Jenny nodded, "Yeah, that's right, I knew that. Shady Grove is nice, and you can stay till Monday. Your class starts at six or seven doesn't it?"
         "Yeah, Jenny, it's at seven. Seven to nine.
         "Well, then you can stay and enjoy an extra day. You don't have to be to class until seven, and checkout at the campground is at three. It's only about an hour drive over there."
         "Good point. Yeah, maybe I will stay over till Monday. But, if I don't get my stuff and get going, I'm not going to have time to set up before it gets dark." He turned and walked back towards the coolers. Soon he had some food, some bottled water, and was on his way.
         He was almost to the highway now. He had been deep in thought, remember back. Jenny had been right, he would meet a girl, a married girl. "That's two married women now, knucklehead."
         He didn't see anyone coming, so he didn't bother to come to a full stop before he hung a right and headed the last few miles back into town.
         He had stayed until Monday, and now he needed to get home, shower and get changed for class tonight. "I can't believe you can get that lost in your thoughts." He spoke to himself, but he knew he had always been like that. It was partly what kept him apart from everyone, he tended to get lost in his thoughts quite often.
         He was soon home. It was too late to unpack everything, but he did have time to grab a quick bite to eat and take a shower. He would have to unload everything when he got back. That was fine with him, then he wouldn't have to tell Janie what he had decided. Not until tomorrow, after I get home from class.

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