Destiny's End

Lanae

         "Well, it may not have been what you thought it was going to be, but you found your answers." Lanae was lying on her bed looking up at the ceiling. She had dropped off the rented camping equipment, put things away, and taken a long hot bath.
         She closed her eyes and thought back to where it had all started. She had dated a few guys while in high school, but nothing too serious. Well, not until she lost her dad. They had been very close, and she would have been with him that night, but her mom had started bitching and complaining because Lanae hadn't cleaned her room yet.
         "She can clean it after we get back, it's only for an hour. I told her she could come with and watch me unhitch the dining car when it arrives."
         Her dad worked for a railroad museum, and they had recently purchased an old-time dining car from some company in Canada. It was in pretty good shape, so they just had it brought down by train. The railway had delivered it to the siding that led up to the museum, but that was all the further they would go, since the old tracks on the museum side were old style tracks and smaller.
         The museum had an old steam engine and some passenger cars they gave rides on in the summer months. The track went in a couple mile circle out by the lake but it also still connected to the main line. This siding had been closed for many years, and was still all old grade track, but when the museum purchased it, they were permitted to reconnect to the main line in order to move in the old engine and cars. This would be the final car added to the museums old-time train, and the siding would be closed once again.
         Lanae was like her dad, and really was excited about the old train, the cars, all of it. Her mom didn't like any of it. In fact, Lanae often wondered how her parents ever even met. She had heard the story, but it still seemed so unlikely that two people so different would ever meet, let along get married and have a daughter.
         But they did meet, they did get married, and they did have a daughter. They also had a lot of arguments and fights. In fact, it seemed like they were almost always fighting with each other. Of course, since Lanae was so much like her dad, her mom often got into fights with her, too. Like now.
         Her room wasn't that messy, just a few dirty clothes on the floor and the bed needed to be made. She knew that her mom wouldn't let her leave until she had it all spiffed up, vacuumed, and dusted. In fact, her mom was just doing this because Lanae wanted to spend time with her dad, instead of at home with her.
         "Daddy, I can be done in a few minutes." She pleaded. She knew it would be longer, and so did he.
         "I have to get done there now, Honey. Jim called and he is backing it off the loop in a few minutes. He's the only one left there, and he can't back the car in, unhook, and pull back out alone." Besides, it's only going to take a few minutes, you would have to stay back so far you wouldn't be able to see anything, and I can take you down after school tomorrow, and give you the grand tour before we start remodeling the car."
         She put on her best pout, but the idea of going inside and seeing the original stove, tables, and everything, just like in the old days was too much. She smiled and nodded, "OK Daddy, tomorrow after school. Can we get some stuff and eat in there? Like a picnic? Please Daddy?"
         "We'll see, Honey. That does sound like fun. Phyllis, doesn't that sound fun, maybe we three can all have a picnic in the dining car?"
         They both looked at her to see if she would, but of course not. She never did anything fun with them.
         "Why would I want to eat cold food in a dirty old train car when I can fix a better meal right here and eat at my own table? You two go eat your greasy chicken in that filthy old car, and if you get sick, don't expect me to take care of you. I'll just go have dinner with one of my friends and enjoy some good company for a change."
         Lanae didn't mind, it would be more fun without her along. She hugged her dad and gave him a quick kiss, then turned and rushed off to her room to get it cleaned. She didn't want her mom to have any excuse to keep her home again. She was pretty sure her mom wouldn't have any problems letting them go tomorrow, since she was going to go see her friend. Lanae was pretty sure her mom had a boyfriend she went and seen sometimes, just by the way she acted afterward.
         She didn't care one way or the other, and sometimes when she was mad at her mom, she wished her mom would admit she had a boyfriend and leave them. They would be better off without her, and even though her dad would be upset, he would find someone better soon enough. He wasn't that old, he was good looking and fun, and well, he just deserved more.
         Tears formed as she remembered that night, and she did not try and stop them. She had just come out of the bedroom to tell her mom she was done when the phone rang. Her mom grabbed it before Lanae could and gave her that evil smile. Then she turned her back to Lanae, like it was a secret call and said, "Hello."
         Lanae couldn't hear what was said on the other side, but she seen her mom slump and gasp. Then, she hung up the phone and went to a kitchen chair and sit. She was all white, and looked like she was going to get sick. "Are you OK mom? Who was it? What did they want?"
         Phyllis looked at her daughter, and reached for her hand. Once she had hold of it she started to cry. "That was the sheriff's office, your dad was in some kind of accident at the museum. He's dead."
         She tried to pull Lanae in closer, tried to hug her, but Lanae pulled away and screamed at her, "No, he's not!" She felt the tears and turned and ran to her room, slammed the door and cried until she fell asleep. She woke up to a sunny day and remembered the picnic. She started to jump out of bed, then wondered why no one had called her for school. Then she remembered. She went out to the kitchen in a trance, the next few days were a trance. And after, nothing was over the same.
         She had learned later on that her dad had been unhooking the train car. He couldn't get something to move, because it was old and rusty. He had told Jim to pull forward a bit, then try backing into it and see if it would jar it loose. It worked, and the lever or whatever it was broke free. Only when Jim pulled forward again, it swung up and caught her dad's overalls. He yelled something, but with all the noise of the engine, Jim couldn't hear him very well. He though he said, "It's still stuck."
         So, Jim put the engine in reverse and backed up again till he felt the shudder of the car and the engine coming together. He pulled the lever forward and the train inched ahead. He was hanging out the window trying to hear, and didn't feel the jarring sensation of the car coupler. He knew they had gotten it unhooked, so he stopped, set the brakes and waked back.
         When he rounded the end of the dining car, he seen Wayne, or at least, what was left of him. He must have gotten the knuckle loose, and when the engine went forward, it jarred once and pulled free. Then, the people that investigated the accident figured the metal rod he was pulling on sprung up and snagged his coveralls.  At the same time, it pushed him sideways, and he tripped on one of the railroad ties. As he was falling, the engine reversed and backed into the knuckle, with Wayne caught between the two. His chest had been between the knuckles when they came together, and when the engine pulled ahead, he had stuck there, crushed from the arms down to the waist, dead.
         Sobbing out loud, Lanae sat up and looked around. Her memory of everything was so vivid that she had to give herself a couple minutes to fully comprehend that was years ago. The teas were rolling freely down her cheeks, and she wiped at them now, trying to stop them. "Why did you have to go, Daddy? Why?"
         She grabbed a tissue and blew her nose, then sat back down on the bed. She had never gone back to the museum after that. She didn't like trains anymore, either. She didn't do anything the same, her life had changed, and not for the best. Her relationship with her mom had never been good, but after her dad died it got even worse.
         Then, she met a guy while out drinking at a party, and they had made love. "Made love? No, he had taken advantage of her while she was drunk. I should have known then he was no good."
         But she didn't think about anything other than maybe this guy would take her out of the hell she called home and she could have a life again. In a way, she tried to find her dad in him, she supposed. That was almost funny, since Gary wasn't anything like her dad. She kept seeing him, and believing him. He told her he loved her, and he wanted to marry her. Then, she missed a period and thought she was pregnant.
         She told her mom, and of course, it turned into a fight. "Now I'll have to support you and a bastard child off your dad's skimpy pension? Don't you think about anyone besides yourself?"
         "He wants to get married, mom." I just don't know if I should or not, sometimes he gets kind of mean and pushy with me.
         "If that boy is willing to marry you, you had better jump at the chance before he decides otherwise. How are you going to raise a child, your still just a snot nosed kid yourself. If you don't, you will have to find a job and help out, I'm not paying for your whoring ass to stay here with some bratty kid while you go drinking and screwing anything with a dick."
         Lanae had slapped her mom that night, then ran out. She didn't know where to go, so she went to Gary's. She stayed there for a couple of days, then he took her back home and helped her get her stuff. Her mom was home and watched, but didn't say anything. As Lanae was walking out the door, she turned and said, "Goodbye Mom."
         "Bye, hope you're not mad about the other night. I'd like to come to your wedding, Honey."
         Lanae ran out before the tears started. Her mom never called her Honey. That was what her dad called her. Even the tone of her voice was sarcastic and mean. She held the tears and didn't cry.
         Things were supposed to get better after that, but they didn't, they got worse. She had wanted to finish school, since she only had a couple of months left. But Gary didn't like that idea, her going to school pregnant. "All the guys will find out, and think you're a slut. I don't want to worry about you sleeping around with some high school punks all the time. Besides, you're going to be raising my kid, why do you need to graduate for that?"
         "I'm not a slut, and I wouldn't mess around with anyone! I just thought..." She didn't' get to finish.
         He pulled over so suddenly she had to grab the dash to keep from tipping over. He was turned facing her and leaning in close before the tires stopped skidding on the gravel shoulder. "You don't sass me bitch or I'll take you right back home and you can stay with your damn mom. Is that what you want? Huh?"
         She thought for a minute he was going to turn around and do just that. Then he calmed down and smiled at her, "I'm sorry Lanae, I'm just upset over everything. I want you to stay home so I can take care of you, and once the kid is born, we're going to have a great little family. I'll work and you can do the house stuff, raise the kid, and we'll have a perfect life."
         He pulled back out on the road and took her to her now life. A life that included not having any friends or doing anything. Luckily, she had her period a month later, she would not want to raise a child in a home like theirs. It was just like her mom and dad all over again, only she was the one like her dad, and Gary was like her mom.
         He worked at the power company, doing work on the vehicles. It paid good, had good insurance and benefits, but he found faults with it. Soon, they were moving to another town about a hundred miles away. For a while they didn't have anything, slept in the car, and ate junk. He had told her he had a job lined up, a good job. But there wasn't any job, just a friend of Gary's who let them borrow a few bucks here and there.
         Then Gary did find a job, at a gas station doing some mechanical work. It didn't pay much, there were no benefits, and it wasn't going to ever be more than part-time. She offered to look for work, too. He got mad as hell and asked her what kind of work she could do besides sucking dick and spreading her legs. It turned into a nasty fight, then he stormed out and didn't come home until the middle of the night, drunk.
         After that, anytime he wanted to go get drunk, he would pick a fight, then storm out and come home plowed. She would sleep in the recliner these nights know he wouldn't be home until after the bars closed. He would stumble in, barely able to walk, make his way over to the fold out bed and fall onto it.
         The first night, he fell right on top of her, and passed out before she could get him moved. He was much bigger than her, and it was a real fight to get him off of her. She began to go into a panic, feeling his weight suffocating her. She thrashed madly until she managed to pull herself out from under him. After that, she refused to sleep in the bed if he was out.
They lived in a ratty two room apartment, a kitchen-dining area, and the living room. The couch folded out to a bed, and they had little else besides the stuff the place came with. They ate poorly, and could not get any money saved up. If she needed money for anything, it was a fight. He blamed her for spending too much on everything, as well as never having anything. She learned early on not to ask for anything, just wait till he passed out drunk, then pick through his billfold and take what she needed.
He would suffer from a hangover the next morning when he finally woke up. He would sit and sip a cup of coffee, but not eat anything. Then he would go to the bathroom and throw up. After he cleaned up a little, he would drink another cup of coffee, and go lie back down. Usually around noon he would get back up and want some broth to drink, maybe a bowl of chicken noodle soup. By afternoon he would be off to work for his evening shift, or if he had the day off, just sit around and bitch about everything.
Eventually he would dig out his billfold and empty his pockets, looking through what he had piled on the crate they used for a coffee table. Then, he would count out his money and see how much he had spent the night before. He was always silent about this, and if Lanae asked, he would shove everything back into his pockets and say he had most of his money left. "I don't need to pay for my drinks, I have friends who always buy me rounds. I just pick up a round or two because I'm a nice guy."
She learned from Gary's friend, Steve Steiner this wasn't the case. Gary was just as much of an ass at work and out on the town as he was at home. "He doesn't have any friends, everyone thinks he's just an asshole and try to avoid him."
"You're his friend, Steve. You give him a rides because you know he can't afford to keep gas in that truck of his." She smiled and added, "And you bring stuff over all the time, leftovers, even your old T.V. when you got your big screen."
"Yeah, I do help him out, Lanae, but I have to confess, it's not so much for him as for you." He paused, and his forehead wrinkled a bit. "When I first met Gary, I thought he was alright, and yeah we got to be kind of buddies. But it didn't take long to see that it was all hot air, and underneath he was just an ass. I would not have stayed buddies with him if I had not met you and seen how he makes you live. You see, Lanae, I'm more your friend than his. If you, or when you ever figure things out and leave him there won't be any reason to stay buddies with him."
Lanae had thought about leaving, but did not know where to go. The last few months had been a nightmare, but her life had turned into a nightmare the night her Daddy had died. Hearing Steve tell her she should leave struck deep, though. Over the next few days she had thought more and more about it.
She got up and went down the hall to the bathroom, and sat down on the toilet. When she got up she seen her reflection in the mirror. She seen the tear streaks from earlier when she had cried, but she looked healthier than when she had first come back to her mom's to live after leaving Gary. The sun and fresh air had given her a little more color, too. In fact, her shoulders and face were still showing a little pink form a bit too much sun over the weekend.
She had called her mom right before school started and asked her for some advice about her relationship. Of course her mom sided with Gary, and told Lanae that she was probably whining and bitching so much it drove him to drinking. "If you're a good wife and make him a happy home, he won't need to go drink." She had said, then added, "If he was cheating on you, then yeah, you would have a reason to bitch and if that was the case, sure leave him, I wouldn't blame you at all. But remember, Honey, if you're not giving him what he needs, that's your fault then, too."
A week later, Gary had come home pissed because his check was smaller than it should have been. "That bastard shorts the checks on purpose just to rip us off. He makes all the money, lives in a big house and drives that fancy car, while we bust our asses off to keep the place going. And what do we get for it? Ripped off! I should call him up and quit right now."
Only he couldn't call, they didn't have a phone. Well as far as Gary knew they didn't have a phone. Steve had given her a cheap cell phone about a month ago. "I got a new phone with everything." He took it out and showed her a few things on it. "I don't need this one anymore, it's just a pay as you go set up, and when you need more minutes, you have to buy a card. It don't do anything except text and call, but it's pretty cheap and well, if something was to happen.... You should have a phone Lanae, just in case."
She knew he was right, and she knew they could not afford any phone, or cards or anything. "Thanks Steve, but I can't afford that."
"You don't have to buy it, I'm giving it to you. It's got about forty minutes or something like that on it." He pushed a button and looked at the glowing screen. "Thirty six minutes left and it's good for another month. Just take it, and keep it hid or Gary will have it and use it up for bullshit."
She took it, and he showed her how to use it. It was pretty simple, but it made her feel pretty great to have her own cell phone. "I'll have to save the minutes in case I need them."
"Use them up before the time runs out, or you will lose them." He showed her how to go to the screen that displayed how much airtime was left. "This is the day you phone will quit working if you don't get a card and add to it." He showed her again how to add airtime, then added, "You can even set up an account that will add some minutes and a month of airtime for about ten bucks a month."
"I'll see if I can manage ten bucks, but when you can't even afford toilet paper it's kind of tough to add minutes to a phone."
"Don't worry about it, things kind of just always work out in time. And don't worry about ass wipe, if you need some just call me, I can bring a roll or two over."
"Thank you Steve, I don't know what we would do without your help."
"Don't mention it, Lanae. Just keep that phone hid, and use it if anything happens. I mean it, if you need anything, a ride, a place to crash. I - um. I don't know for sure, but just be safe and call me if anything happens. You know? Gary's been kind of weird lately and I don't know what's going on, but I know he don't treat you right and, well," He paused for a long time, and Lanae was just going to tell him thanks again, when he finished, "I think something is up with Gary and I don't know what, but if anything happens, call me."
She was confused by this, but she did notice Gary had been acting weird. He was even kind of nice and gave her twenty bucks out of his last check for no reason. He had told her, "Here, I know it's not much, but you got things you need to buy and stuff, and well, you should have a little spending money, too. But don't go blowing it, we don't have money to throw away."
Steve had been right, something was up. Lanae found out shortly after why Gary was acting different. She had held on to most of the twenty bucks, but had gotten a few things so Gary would know she spent it. She was sure he would want it back when he was broke again by midweek. So, she got a few things at the dollar store, but he would think she had spent it all. It seemed to work, because he never asked her about it at all.
Payday came around again, and he came home in a great mood. "Baby, I got me a raise. I confronted that bastard about ripping me off on my checks, and he went over the payroll again and sure enough, he said he had missed a day on my check. He told me he would fix it on the next, and add a little extra for the trouble." He held a wad of money up and waved it around. "I got my check and sure enough, I had the extra day added on. I also got paid more than normal, and when I looked, it was like fifty cents an hour higher."
"I thought that old miser was checking to see if I would just take it and run, or if I would tell him there was a mistake. I bet he was surprised when I told him about the mistake. He looked and seen the mess up. He told me it would be a lot of work to try and straighten it back out, and that I was due for a raise, so just enjoy it." I didn't say it, Baby, but I thought it awful loud, "Your damn right I'm due for a raise."
I called Steve, and he wants to go hunting in the morning. "I'll stay over at his place so we can get an early start and you won't have to get up early or anything. I didn't say nothing before, because I knew we couldn't afford a hunting license, but now I can, and it would be nice to have some meat on the table. I don't know if I will be back tomorrow night or not, it depends on if we get our tags filled."
"Hunting? You're going hunting?" Lenae was caught off guard by this, Gary had never indicated he even liked to hunt. "I can think of a lot of things we really need that we can maybe save up and get now that you got a raise. I don't think you should spend it on hunting when you need tires for your truck and maybe we can even get a bigger place."
Gary turned red instantly. His eyes bulged and he raised his hand and slapped her hard on the side of her face. "Don't you start bitching at me and telling me how to live my life! We would have tires and a nice place if you could manage money. What did you do with the twenty bucks I gave you? Blew it on shit, that's what. And then you tell me I should do this and shouldn't do that, shit. You can kiss my ass, that's what.
He had stormed off and threw some cloths in a bag. Then he pushed her out of his way, even though she wasn't really in it. "Get the hell out of my way or I'll do more than slap you. Maybe that's what you need, a good ass kicking. Well open your pie-hole and I'll give it to you. Do you hear, bitch?
She had fallen onto the crate that was their end table, and looked down at his feet, afraid if she looked up he would hit her again. She just nodded, and his feet left her sight, then she heard the door slam. She fought back the tears, then she got mad, real mad. She started to walk to the door, intent on telling him never to come back, but then she stopped. What if he did come back after her and hit her again?
She sat down and thought about what to do next. Maybe she did bitch and make him mad? She didn't think so, but maybe. She decided to call Steve, and tell him what happened. Maybe he could get Gary calmed down while they were hunting.
She decided to call later, just in case Gary figured it out that it was her calling. He knew Steve talked to her and brought stuff over. In fact, she thought Gary made sure they didn't have stuff just because Steve would bring it over if she told him they needed something. Steve was right, everyone was right, Gary was just an ass.
She looked in the cupboard for something to eat, but there wasn't anything. It dawned on her, Gary had not even given her any money for food. Luckily she had most of the twenty bucks stashed away. She dug it out and walked to the store down the street a couple of blocks. Halfway there, she changed her mind, she would go to the supermarket instead. It was a lot further to walk, but they had better prices and she had some coupons from the shopper that was delivered for free.
She was half way to the supermarket, and seen Gary's truck out in front of Chipper's Bar. She stopped, what if he came out and seen her? No, if he's drinking, he'll be there till closing, she thought. She went on her way, but when she got to the bar, she looked in through the big glass window. There was Gary, sitting at the bar, and there was some woman with him. She watched as they kissed, then finished their drinks and turned toward the door. Lanae was afraid they would see her, as she backed up and ducked around the corner of the building. They were to intent on each other to notice her. She watched as Gary opened the door and let her in, then went around and climbed in behind the wheel. The blond woman slid over, they kissed again, and then they left.
Lanae waited and counted to sixty, then counted again. They should be out of site by now she thought. She peeked around the corner and didn't see anything. Cautiously she stepped out from the shadow and looked down the street. They were gone. She turned and went home, took out the phone and called Steve.
He was over in a few minutes, his wife along. She told him everything, how they had fought, how Gary had slapped her and how he had told her he would kick her ass. Steve listened, and Lanae could tell he was getting very mad. Sally, his wife, held her hand as she talked and hugged her after she had told her tale.
Steve went into the other room, and Lanae could hear water running. Sally asked her, "What are you going to do now? You can't stay, he will throw you out or leave you here if he's got another woman." She looked down then back up, "Or, worse yet, he'll keep you around as a punching bag so he can hide that side from the other woman."
"I don't know where to go, or what to do. But, I  do know I don't want to stay here."
Steve was back now, his face still damp and his shirt wet. He looked down at the wet spot on his shirt, "I needed to splash a little water on my face, so I could cool down and think, I didn't see a towel."
"We only have one and it's dirty, I was going to wash it out tonight after I got some soap."
Sally looked at her, "You poor dear, Steve told me you guys didn't have much, but I had no clue how little you do have. What's Gary do with his money?"
Lanae started to cry, but tried to hold back the tears, "Well, he don't make much, and it just runs out too fast."
Steve added, "He blows a lot on booze and drinking, but I'm sure this other woman is the reason he's so broke all the time. Don't you believe he doesn't make enough to live better than this, he's been lying to you from the start."
There was a long pause, then Steve said, "Pack up what you want, your leaving. You can come over to our place and stay until you figure this out. Don't worry about Gary, he won't bother you after I see him again."
Lanae didn't say anything, she was numb, again. Sally helped her pack up the few things she wanted. With everything packed into plastic shopping bags, they left. Steve pulled the door shut with a loud thud.

***