Who do I still think I am??

This one's about shorts, holidays, games, hockey...

30DBC PROMPT: Wow...I really need to pay attention during the unofficial months of the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" . I would've loved to take part in something scaled back a little bit, but I was busy running another endeavor into the ground (more about that in a little bit).

What's up folks? How's everyone been? My blog calendar lies...it says it's been ten entire days since my last update here, but my last entry is from, like, I dunno, some time back in November when I could wear shorts because I didn't have to worry if my jeans would still fit. Well, it's December...nearing the middle- actually, let's be formal and call it The Middle Third- and it's snowing like it's the end of the world (and the aftermath is supposed to be some kind of frozen-over prototype of Hell), and- oh! Yeah...after hardly ever wearing jeans for most of the last year and a half for reasons partially related to me attempting to show that there's still some athletic skill left in this now 38-year-old body, I no longer own a pair of jeans I can safely fasten without breaking blood vessels in my eyes while attempting to inhale. If I can even get them past my now-thunderous thighs. Can I get another Reese's peanut butter cup please? Just unwrap it and aim it at my mouth...it'll find its way in. Thanks.

Let's reminisce, shall we? Because let's face it, my writing schedule these days is about as dependable as my athleticism.

+ [ x ] / =

And that's another reason why we don't do math in these here hallowed halls of internet hysteria. Now if there were an emoticon of a GIF of the "man" emoticon limping, that'd be me, and hey, I've got an idea...why don't we SHUT THE HELL UP NOW. JUST...NO. STOP. (Like I said, more on that later).

BCF PROMPT: "Write a story or a poem about your favorite holiday."

Well, since I've been away for awhile, it's time to play catch-up. And since I'm not feeling the need to be poetic, I'll just recap in my usual form what went down recently, like a story. It shall be Thanksgiving-themed, because that's my favorite holiday. See? It's like a win-win for everyone!

I actually made it (sorta) back home to WNY for that particular weekend. Plans were all up in the air, because it all depended on the weather in the area where my mom lives. It was supposed to be crappy here in CNY, and crappier there, and were that really the case, then it would've been a no-go. Which I would've completely understood...who wants to drive three hours to get me, and then drive three hours back, in a snowstorm?

We figured we would've known by the Tuesday night before, so I could have time to pack and be ready. We got a little bit of snow in Cortland, but the Buffalo area was supposed to get pounded with the Lake Effect stuff, which throws me into all sorts of confusion because my Facebook feed still has all the local weather personalities from WNY cluttering up my feed, and none of the Cortland/Syracuse weather people, because screw them, and while Buffalo's getting blasted and panicking and old ladies are scouring every store they can for milk and toilet paper, I'm chillin' in shorts with the windows open here listening to the rain hit and the drunk college girls get stupid 'cuz the rain might ruin their $189 Uggz. It still boggles my mind that it seems like the dollar amount spent on clothing runs directly opposite in proportion to its functionality, but maybe that's too many hard winters spent toughin' it out in hand-knitted mittens that soak up all the snow the minute you try to make a snowball talkin'.

Anyway, so I made it back to the town my mom lives in now, which is not really close to the Buffalo I know, but for frame-of-reference activities it's Buffalo (although I did not get to Mighty Taco or Ted's or anywhere else in-between, and that's ok because there'll always be another chance for that). We had a full-blown turkey feast at my brother's friend's house, which was awesome because they're great people and were more than accommodating. I was, in complete disclosure of this sounding like a cliche, very thankful.

After dinner, I hung out with out host family's son (shout-out to my boy Cullen!!) who's seven years old and has Spina Bifida and gets around better on his elbows than I sometimes do on my legs (and I mean that with the utmost respect). He's a great kid...very engaging with a wonderful personality. He's sharp too...he caught on to all my little tricks while we were trying to play the Spongebob version of Ants In The Pants. Not that I'd try to cheat a kid out of a children's' game that requires skill and coordination, but c'mon, a game called "Ants In The Pants" in this day and age is something that 1) would never fly as a title nowadays in our politically correct society; and 2) he's seven, wears pants that require assistance being put on, and did I mention "Ants In The Pants" is the dumbest name for a game ever? My man Cullen caught me snaggin' his ants, which I'm pretty sure is not something you boast about anywhere ever. And that's not even the most mind-blowing part of my experience.

At one point, he wandered off to play Xbox. Cool. In a turkey daze I found myself wondering what he was up to, and caught myself wondering what the point of the game he was playing was. The avatar would run and jump and scale walls and do all sorts of crazy shit, enough to bore me but not enough to completely lose my interest. Meanwhile, Cullen had cuddled up against my leg while I leaned on a shelf...he was comfortable enough with me and his game, so I didn't care. Then the avatar took out a sword and would slice people up randomly. I, of all people, am not one to be shocked by anything, but this was slightly jarring in the fact that a child was basically unsupervised in the presence of a strange adult male while playing a video game that basically requires you to kill other people. I mean, for someone whose only Xbox history is Rockband, even I was slightly uncomfortable watching a little kid do malicious grown-up work the Xbox's apparent opus in its catalog, Assassin's Creed. I've never killed anyone, but I've seen it done in movies before, and that's enough for me. Yet here's a kid doing it with relative ease.

And then he asked me if I wanted to play.

Not being one who turned down adorable children, I obliged. And I've played plenty of Nintendo games at twice and three times Cullen's age, and probably killed a few people in my time as a quote-unquote-don't-quote-me gamer, but holy shit...Xbox controllers have way too many buttons and allow avatars to do way too many things. It's like having ten wallets with eight different credit cards that are only good at certain store. So when it was my turn to play, well, let's just say I couldn't quite manipulate my guy quite the same way. Every button only made the avatar walk. No jumping or running or killing or looting. Picture those same ten wallets, with the same credit cards, only they're in one of fifty different pockets on your person, you can't get your melted snow-laden gloves off, and it doesn't matter because all of the credit cards are maxed out anyway and you're living in a society that doesn't take credit anyway (or you're 96 years old with no arms trying to write checks and it's still the Prohibition times but you've managed to procure enough booze and you just start wandering around aimlessly like you're about to discover radiation and disco and can't do a thing about the sausage swimming in the drinking water). Yeah, that was me. I managed to bore a small child that can't walk by playing a video game I absolutely suck balls at. I am a bad friend.

But hey, he liked me, and didn't want me to leave, and we all need friends (unless you're like me and just lopped off a ton of "friends" from my Facebook list, which is no easy feat either). Happy belated Thanksgiving, people. I'll understand it if I'm eating Hormel's "Compleats: Turkey With Dressing" next year while sticking to simpler games that I'm more familiar with getting destroyed at, like Words With Friends.

MUSICAL BREAK!!

I did manage add a little bit to my iTunes collection while I was away, so feel free to check this out before the next segment (even if it was only adding a few things I'd already once owned and was enhancing the variety).

THE DAILY BOX SCORE:

Well, I (we) did it, and I don't feel as great about it as I should. We irked <I'm not gonna tag him here so as not to drag any further unnecessary attention to an already inconvenient situation>. Our little side-notes and otherwise outward displays of publicly acting out protests general conversation got me a private rebuke an audience with <the same guy I won't name but am greatly indebted to> regarding our request for a hockey emoticon. And it didn't go well. It did, but it didn't. Let's skip the fact that there's a fine line between "suggesting" and "campaigning", and a not-so-fine line between "organizing a full-scale collective operation" and "annoying". I have appeared to perhaps fallen into the second of both categories, but I was willing to meet <said great leader who shall remain unnamed to save from potential further annoyance> 99.8825% of the way on this, but his response was to suggest I raise a lot of GP's for "RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group" , which I was more than happy to do (although- no, never mind...it's best I write this all with my feelings kept out of this). I made a decision, based on the fact that I support RAOK fully because they're the cornerstone of WDC's efforts not only to help newbies, but to those who can't always keep their upgraded memberships, and I've been helped out by them a lot in the past. I agreed with <he who escapes all scorn in what was otherwise a great idea>, and I went ahead and created "Invalid Item"  so that people would donate to a great cause and we would stop complaining about how every major sport except hockey is represented by an emoticon. One problem: I've never done any kind of major fundraising on WDC, so I had no clue what I was doing. Open the forum and watch the rink get built, to paraphrase the Kevin Costner movie "Field Of Dreams". The trouble with that is I failed to provide direction, and every donation seemed to go into a different place. I'm immensely thankful for Lyn's a Witchy Woman , Brother Nature and MrBugSir 's efforts in supporting the notion that we should have a hockey emoticon, but ultimately it fell on me for the mess it created in accounting for all of the donations. I made quite a headache for the powers that be due to my lack of understanding in the overall accounting process for this, even though I believed we had all of the funds necessary to get to see the goal come to fruition. I knew there was a reason I never really got involved with this kind of stuff, and I feel incredibly horrible about the whole damn thing. It's not like we cheated anyone or were trying to get something over on the site, and in the end all we get is a cute little animation that signifies our love for hockey; whereas a few members of WDC get to enjoy extended upgraded membership privileges for two months. I feel like a huge tool for all of this...what started out as innocent banter a few years back and turned into a really great idea became a huge process involving gift point logs, a steady indulgence in annoyance, and overall just more trouble than it was meant to be in the first place. That was never my intent, and then (because I put my name in front of it) it became something worse. Lesson learned. From now on, the "great ideas" will be better left to the ones who can actually execute them flawlessly and without having to leave others like their cages have been rattled to the point that it becomes a problem. In a perfect world, that's all we ever hope for, and of all people I should know that.

Whew. That said, it's still my belief that we did manage to reach a goal (no pun intended) that was laid out for us (under a slightly unsettling feeling that it wasn't attainable, but nobody's reinterpreting/counting words now), and if you're seeing this and you're able, I'm still encouraging you to please consider donating to RAOK in the name of our cause (just don't send me your GP's through the forum...do it through RAOK). This may have damaged my standing with <the unnamed party that does all this cool stuff here at WDC> after 12+ years of membership, but at least we've all been able to learn from this experience...perhaps in the future if the need arises for my thoughts on fundraising, I can offer some advice on what not to do. But rest assured, I won't be saying ludicrous things "campaigning", and you can quote me on that biting off more than I can chew, whether I think I can or cannot.

Defriending people on Facebook is a legitimate pain in my ass. I've been slowly trying to weed out the fake accounts. Facebook does not make this easy. More on this at a later date as I become increasingly infuriated with this aspect of unsocial networking.

Aww man, it's that time of year again...awards season is slowly going to start happening. WDC's Quill Awards are coming, and I don't have an appropriate thing to wear. Thankfully nobody else will be showing up in a tux made of Reese's peanut butter cup wrappers. But you can at least get all the info you need here: "The Quills" . THIS IS NOT CAMPAIGNING!! (Sorry for the bold caps...I have to cover my ass.)

I had more important things to add (how can I not, having spent like two weeks away from not being a completely immersed person who contributed to WDC's bloggatorial landscape as semi-often as I would) but my brain's fried and my anxiety is testing my medications' limits, so I better be moving on with my evening. It's crazy what standardized testing of an adult's aptitude can do to one's brain, let alone a teenager's, especially with the crazy hormone changes and societal pressures. Let's just pretend we've all been here before. Peace, I wish I was, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!