Welcome to My Life

Reviewing 2013: Question 7 - Insecurities

Are you insecure about your looks, abilities or talents?
"Spiritual Newsletter (December 28, 2005)" 

Yes, I have insecurities about my looks. These insecurities are rearing their ugly heads right now. I think a makeover, a hair cut, and a new wardrobe would help. I'm in the processing of moving, so I packed up most of my shitty wardrobe and put it in storage. This left me with two dresses I can wear in public. I also have several slicks and sweaters, but I don't wear these in public. Most of the time I wear dress when I leave house, there are exceptions, but those exceptions occur randomly and for no reason I'm aware of.

My hair is long and graying. I'm not going to have it colored because I don't color my own hair and going to a beauty salon is too expensive; at least, until my hair turns completely gray and I can have it colored blond without the problem of bleaching the brown. I don'[t see anything wrong with gray hair because both my Grandmothers and my mother had beautiful gray hair in their old age. I hope that when my hair is completely gray then it will be just a beautiful as theirs. In the mean time, I have to have it cut, which would alleviate some of my insecurities.

I always feel insecure when my hair gets long because it isn't obedient. Some women can get their hair to hang straight or stay out of their face when it's long. When my hair gets long it flies all over the place, it even gets in my mouth when I'm eating (which I hate), I long ago found the best way to deal with my long hair is to cut it off and let the beautician sweep it up.

Do I have insecurities about my talent? Yes, sometimes I'm confronted with those insecurities as well. This is why I have to be extremely careful when I rewrite a poem, story, or novel. My insecurities will urge me to take something out that I should leave in or put something in that doesn't help the plot or the poem. This is one of the advantages of being on writing.com, I can write the piece and then put it up for review and then look at the suggested changes. If I want to put the changes in I can, but I don't do this until my insecurities are in a state that I can handle them.