Welcome to My Life

At the Start of a Undepressing Day

I'm feeling better about the idea of moving to Searchlight, but that may be because my sister lives there and I have convinced myself that it's a good idea to move some place where there is someone to take care of me. As I got up off the couch on this cold December morning, I realized that there are advantages to having someone take care of me. For instance, there are decisions I no longer have to make. I can also stop worrying because if I have someone to take care of me, that person can do the worrying and this idea appeals to me.

There are several advantages to not worrying. The main advantage is that my hair will not turn any grayer then it already is, which means looking in the mirror won't be as depressing. Another advantage to lack of worry is that my wrinkles won't get any deeper and this too effects the depression that confronts me when I look in the mirror. All right, the only time I look in the mirror is when I wash my face or comb my hair. If I use a hairbrush I don't have to look in the mirror to brush my hair. I brush my hair all the time without looking in the mirror and it doesn't have any effect on the way my hair looks.

If I have someone to take care of me then I can let that person decide what to do with the books I have to dispose of by giving away. Come to think of it, having someone else take care of me means I don't have to decide which can of vegetables to open for supper or what I'm having for breakfast. In fact, I can stop making decisions (which I dislike) and leave those up to someone else. The more I think about it, the better I like the idea of moving to Searchlight because having someone take care of me is sounding better all the time. Of course, this reasoning could be a manifestation of my maladaptive daydreaming, but there may be advantages to this phenomena when it comes to overcoming depression.

It's nice to know that Searchlight has a Senior Center. All though, since I don't play Bingo, I don't know what I could do there. Maybe I could go in and flirt with all the old men; however, since women outlive men there may not be that many elderly gentleman for me to flirt with. Come to think of it, considering my taste in men, flirting might not be a good idea. I have to face the fact that I have never had a date with a gentleman in my life. Most of my dates have been with losers who wanted me to make the living. Maybe I'm better off just going in and making pottery or something. Better yet, I should just stay home and work online, but at least I'm looking forward to moving to Searchlight.