Midnight in Suburbia

NaNoWriMo Day 3: Chapter 3 - Daniella's Sense of Humor

Chapter 3: Daniella's
Sense of Humor

Daniella sit at the breakfast table sipping a cup of coffee and writing her "To Do List".

"Morning, Dani," Preston said, walking past the table to the coffee maker, picking up a mug from counter, and pouring himself a cup of black coffee. "For someone who was up past midnight you're up early on a Sunday morning."

"I have to get an early start if I'm going to leave Las Vegas on November 26," she laid her pen on the table, picked up her cup, and went to the coffee maker. She kissed Preston on the cheek and then poured herself another cup of coffee. "I have a lot of packing to do and, since I won't be in Oklahoma on Christmas, I have gifts to purchase and wrap."

He placed his cup on the table, took his cell phone from his slacks pocket and checked the date. "Today's November 3, you have plenty of time for that."

"Pres," she took a sip of her coffee before sitting down in the chair next to him. "Since I won't be there for Christmas, I have to purchase an appropriate gift for Dolly. A gift that she will have to open while I'm still in Oklahoma."

"Why are you buying this woman a gift," Preston cut two pieces of the chocolate coffee cake that was sitting on the table and placed them on saucers. "Rachel said the woman sounded like a bitch." He sit one saucer in front of Daniella and place the other saucer beside his cup.

"Dolly Shupe-Cartwright is a snob and a bitch," she grinned, "That's why Papa Larry and Uncle Rodger always did everything the could to piss her off during the holidays, but she was there sister and did love her." She took a bite of the cake and slowly chewed it before continuing. "It's Ethan's and my duty to do everything we can to piss her off during the holidays."

"My Dear," Preston laughed, "you have a weird family." He took a bit of his cake.

"Either that or a dysfunctional family."

"I never noticed that you and Ethan were that dysfunctional."

"That's because it was my brother and I against Aunt Dolly's brood. We had to stick together because Dolly's kids were unmercifully bullies."

"I thought your Uncle Rodger had three or four kids."

"He has five children by three different women, but after the divorces they moved out of Blackwell." She finished her cake, "That's why Uncle Rodger moved to Colorado. His wives didn't want their children associating with Dolly's hooligans, so he moved his home and business to Colorado Springs to be near them."

"I can understand why you never mentioned her before," he got up, went to the sink, rinsed his saucers, and put it in the dishwasher before pouring himself another cup of coffee. "But the more I hear about your Aunt Dolly, the curiouser I get." He returned to the table, "Would you like to go back to Oklahoma on Christmas, unless you don't want me to meet her."

"I have no objections to you meeting her, but what about your mother. Could she stand Oklahoma's winter weather?"

"I'll ask her when she arrive on November 25." He finished his coffee and got up. "If she can't then I'll arrange for Rachel or Jane to keep an eye on Mom."



Daniella went into the dining room and opened the liquir cabinat. She studied the supply on hand, then closed, and locked it before placing the key on top. Walking to the dining table she picked up her pin and added one bottle of Jack Daniel's. Next she put the list in her purse, picked up her purse, and walked to the front door. Closing and locking the door behind her she went to the garage.

"Where you going," Preston called from his workbench.

"I'm going to Lee's to purchase a bottle of JD for Dolly."

"You sure she drinks whiskey?"

"It's for her Christmas present, so she'll use it at the swanky party she has every Christmas day."

"Doesn't she celebrate New Year's?"

"Yes, but she only serves French champagne at her New Year's parties." Daniella got the jeep, "On Christmas she serves several varieties of spiked eggnog and she always has one with whiskey in it. I thought this year she might like a little more expensive brand then she usually serves."

"More expensive?"

"Yes," Daniella laughed, "Aunt Dolly's a cheap snob, she serve the cheapest stuff she can get away with without the liquor effecting the taste of the eggnog."

"So you're going the help her get her guest drunk."

"I'm going to give her the JD and tell her that it was my biological father's favorite brand of whiskey."

"I thought you didn't know who your biological father was."

"I don't, but when they ask Mom what to put on my birth certificate, she told them my father's name was Jack Daniels."

"And Mrs. Shupe-Cartwright doesn't know who's on your birth certificate?"

"Dolly doesn't know a lot about me or Mom's family. All she cares about is believing that Papa Larry married below his status."

"That explains a great deal," he laughed. "I suppose you inherited your unknown father's sense of humor."

"Don't be silly, Preston, I have my own sense of humor, but if anyone ask you can tell them that I'm named after him."

"What?"

"My name's Daniella and mom put Jack Daniels as my father on my birth certificate, so I'm named after the man she mentioned on the birth record."

"Why did she put JD as your father?"

"Because that was the liquor she was drinking when I was conceived."

"Interesting," he laughed. "I guess you inherited your mother's sense of humor." He walked over to the jeep and kissed her. "I'm glad I'm marrying a woman with a sense of humor because that will help when you meet my mother."

"I've talked to your mother on the phone, she sounds like a nice lady."

"She is, but she has a wicked sense of humor." He backed away from the jeep. "Perhaps that's why I'm attracted to you and why we get along so well. My first wife didn't have much of a sense of humor and didn't get along well with Mom because of Mom's sense of humor."

"I'll get along with your mother, Preston. Now could you move back so I can go make my purchases and get back before Jesse finishes stew she's making."

"You're letting Jesse cook Sunday dinner."

"Of course," Daniella smiled. "She wanted to try my recipe for beef stew before sh goes to visit her mother on Thanksgiving."

"Ah, I see." He went back to the work bench, picked up the sander, and started sanding the piece of wood he had laying on the bench.

Daniella backed out of the garage and stopped at the edge of the drive way while a red VW drove past. Then she turned right and drove up the Charleston Boullavaurd. Stopping at the sign she waited for traffic to pass before turning right and heading toward Lee's Discount Liquor on Rainbow Avenue. When she came to rainbow, she turn right again and drove to the liquor store. Parking the jeep she went into the store and waited at the counter for the clerk to take care of the previous customer.

"Hi, Ms Coffey," said the clerk, "What can I do for you today?"

"I'd like a bottle expensive Jack Daniel's and wrap it for Christmas, please."

"Of course, Ms Coffey," the clerk smiled. "Would you like to wait for it or will you pick it up later?"

"I'll wait because I take a look at what you have on display." The clerk went to the Jack Daniel's shelf and removed a bottle of whiskey. She returned to the counter and began wrapping it.

After she finished wrapping the whiskey, Daniella returned to the counter with a bottle of champagne, she sit the champagne on the counter, and took her American Express card out of her purse. The clerk run up her purchases and handed her the receipt to sign. "Have a nice day, Ms Coffey."



As Daniella drove back home from the liquor store, she thought about the way her father and Uncle Rodge had attempted, and usually did, piss off Dolly. She tried to remember when the game of "Get Dolly's Goat" started. The only thing she could think of was the incident at Grandma Hattie's funeral. She was only eight or nine years old at the time and Ethan was a few years younger.

Daniella remember that the problem started because Dolly had planned the funeral for Grandma Hattie. She had never asked either Larry or Rodger what they thought about the service or the stone she had picked out. The service was not that bad, at least Daniella did not think so at the time, but as she thought back over the incident she realized that Dolly had hand picked the reverand and the palbearer. Dolly had not included any of Hattie great grand children in the ceremony or as pall bearers. The only one Dolly had chosen were business associates of Grandpa Jess, Hattie third husband.

Also Dolly had refused to allow time for anyone, other then those she hand picked, to speak at the funeral. Daniella remember how angry Larry and Rodger were at the time. After the burial, they got together and wrote a obetuary of their own. Then they purchases full page adds in all the newspapers that the relatives would read and put the obit on that page. She knew it has cost them a lot of money, but it was their way of getting back at Dolly for snubing the rest of the family.

Most of the realitives, at least those who had been snubbed by Dolly, thought it was funny. They were not the only ones. Grandpa Jess and his business associates had a great laugh about it as well. Everyone thought the obt that Larry and Rodger wrote fitted Grandma Hattie better then the one that Dolly had put in the paper. In fact, Grandpa Jess even had another memorial service for Grandma Hattie at his golf club and invited the entire family. He made sure that Dolly attended, all though she had not been happy about the service. She thought that it was disrespectiful to Grandma Hattie to let everyone know the truth that Dolly had been atempting to hide for years.

"I wonder," said Daniella as she drove into the garage, "if I still have that obeturary that Papa Larry and Uncle Rodger wrote."