Who do I still think I am??

This one's about the start of something new.

BCF PROMPT: "Many cultures have stories that describe the creation of the world. As a writer, write your own original account of how the world began."

What's up folks? Before I get too carried away, let me see if I got this right...1975 wasn't the first year the world existed? You sure about that? Creation didn't happen simply because I was created? Awww man, now I've gotta change my perspective on so many things.

I'm almost dreading looking at today's entries about this, because (in my opinion) this prompt kinda shares a bit of kinship with the "immortality" and "reincarnation" prompts we've seen in the past. The religious people are going to say "No way! Creation is at the hand of my lord and savior, <insert your favorite deity's name here>", the artsy creative types are going to argue that you can't mess with the truths of science because science is right and anything can be proven by science, and I'm stuck in the middle trying to pickpocket words from everyone passing by in this epic battle of theology and academia. May he/she who has the best propaganda win!

For my money, the best story regarding the creation of the world is told in the movie Airplane, but I can't recall the scene exactly so it's pretty impossible to find a clip of it, and unless you're really familiar with a movie that's probably over thirty years old by now you likely have no idea what I'm talking about. You're gonna have to trust me on that, I guess (and if we're gonna have any kind of relationship, get used to hearing that a lot). I'm pretty sure the scene I'm referencing is near the end of the movie.

But this prompt wants me to offer up my own theory on how the world began. Like I have any idea. I have a hard enough time making it up and down a flight of stairs, let alone having to consider making up a story about how the greatest planet in the universe came to be. [Side note: That could be one of the most underutilized marketing slogans ever! "Earth: Because where else would you rather live?" Somebody needs to look beyond this entry and hook me up with a job making up stuff like this.]

Alright, here's what you should tell your kids when they're sitting on your lap and they ask you questions about this kind of stuff (and leave it up to kids to prove to you just how much about the world you really don't know), and you can't just give 'em a lollipop and tell them to play in traffic ('cuz they might choke). If they're young enough, you tell them that you created the world because you needed a bigger place to play. If they're on to you and ask you how, you say it's a secret and Santa Claus doesn't like it when adults give away secrets to little kids...he watches all year, ya heard? Then you can tell them to go fly a kite in a thunderstorm or somethin'.

But most kids these days are smart. They won't fall for that crap. Hell, they've probably already stolen your smartphone, looked it up for themselves, changed your passcode, and are asking you just to humor themselves while you wonder why in the hell you're unable to look it up for yourself and provide them with an educated answer. And I'm pretty sure the scenario I just described is also 3/5ths of the preschool entrance exam being administered in most states north of Washington, DC and east of the Mississippi River (give or take a few larger metropolitan areas outside of those parameters).

Activity Time! So here's what you do. Stick a kid in the center of the room. Pull out a bunch of Legos (the more, the better). Snap two bricks together and give the rest to the kid. Start walking around in a circle around the kid. Each time you pass directly in front of the kid, have him/her give you another brick (doesn't matter what kind or color) and snap it on. Keep doing this for about an hour, very gradually getting farther and farther away. If the kid has to throw Legos to you, so be it (and what kid doesn't like throwing things?). You just keep putting them together. Doesn't matter what you build.

Eventually, when that little charade feels like it has run its course, take your fantastic Lego creation and stick that in the center of the room, in place of the kid, and arm the kid with all the rest of the Legos. Have him/her do the same thing you did...walking in circles around the Lego creation, tossing another brick at it, until all the Legos are gone.

And What Did We Learn? That nobody is too old for Legos? That it doesn't matter how the world was created, but that we're here to enjoy it? That it just "kinda happened" in outer space by asteroids orbiting the sun and collecting particles of stuff along the way, 'til it got so big that people and animals and trees and stuff started growing out of it? All of the above!! Sure, why not? C'mon, you're not a teacher! (Unless you are a teacher...in that case, you shouldn't be taking cues from me anyway, but you're smart and you probably knew that already.) You ain't got time for no book-learnin'! Leave the important questions to the people who have all the right answers already, and get paid to share that info, for cryin' out loud! 'Cuz here in 'Murica, kids should just be kids and concern themselves with kid stuff...and not have to worry about who or what put the globe together and why or how all the pieces that make it fit the way they do wanna harm it through pollution and war.

[Side note: This lesson is circa 2013 of Fivesixer Worldwide Enterprises and should be treated as such. Any broadcast or retransmission without expressed written consent is strictly prohibited. Basically, don't be tryin' to make paper off it. And say no to drugs. All rights are reserved...but lefts are a little loopy after the second drink.]

MUSICAL BREAK!!

And I suppose the next thing you're gonna tell me is the Beatles didn't invent rock and roll music. Y'all really are out to get me this week, aren't ya?

THE DAILY BOX SCORE:

Gamechangers afoot! Brother Nature 's back with a new entry! I kinda just wanna end my entry here and now so I can go read it. But I'll finish up and let the anticipation build. I hope you guys will all check it out and welcome him back for the fall season.

90,000: Approximate GP's I'm gonna need to accumulate in the next day or so to keep my WDC upgrade. Not sure if I'll be able to participate in the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS"  during September if I'm not upgraded and my port gets scaled back. I'm gonna hafta look into that.

Started off the day in a bit of a fit. Woke up with exactly one minute to spare before my alarm was gonna go off. Then my mouse wouldn't click...took me a minute before I remembered I dropped it before going to sleep last night. Popped and unpopped the casing a few times, because that's the extent of my 2013 technical knowledge when it comes to consumer electronics (15 years ago was another story), and didn't realize it was 10:29am until it was 10:29am and that I had to leave the house because my doctor's appointment was for 10:30...and still had to wait for him even though I still managed to get there on time (luckily I live around the corner from that doctor).

I would absolutely love to pull this off some day (or at least live to see an author do it in my time)! Can you imagine if, say, when the world was being created and the gobs of dough that were dropped into the ocean in order for us to have continents to live on, we'd (that's "we" as in "the human race", not "we" as in "you and I"...get over yourself) never invented mapmaking or cartography, and we (again with the "we") had to rely on word-of-mouth to know that there are only seven continents? I'd love to be that jerk on internet message boards for the global website of the planet Earth, trolling fools. "Well, I see there's people on here tonight from Europe, Asia, The Americas (North and South), Australia, Africa, and Antarctica...anybody heard from the other continent at all?"

From the Statistical Oddities Of WDC file: Earlier today while doing "Random Reviews" for newbies, my tally of new emails dropped from something like 13 or 14 down to 1, without even checking any emails. When I actually checked them, sho' 'nuff I had new emails numbering into the teens. But in the middle of typing this entry and creating the item for the image above, I had to first sign back into WDC (I love it when that happens ) before saving the image...and within an hour of me typing this and saving that other item, my Community Recognition number went up by one, and I went from 1 new email to 15. What the hell is going on here?

And to top off my day, my internet has been acting crazy again all evening. I tried streaming the last Bills preseason game...for every 10-15 seconds of play-by-play action, I got about ten minutes of silence, to the point where I'd forget about it because I was too engrossed in other stuff only to be startled when the stream would kick back on. And even then, it'd only come on during commercials. I pretty much gave up around halftime anyway, because the Bills were getting rolled up on pretty good (something like 35-3...I think that was the last score I saw). I don't like to put too much stock in the preseason, but these last two games have been awful. However, my true feelings on this and related topics are probably better suited for another time and prompt.

Having said that, I'm outta here. Gonna do some readin' up on y'all before I dive back in to more random reviewing. Peace, we can do as we choose, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!