Curious Incidents of a Flailing Mermaid

Day thirty: Decisions! Decisions! (part 2)

Well, well, well! I’ve made it to day 30! I didn’t even think I’d make it past day 4! But I did it and I’m kinda proud! Thank you all for putting up with 49 pages and 16118 words (including this post) of my nonsense!

I was going to post earlier in the day but I’ve been putting it off for some reason. Maybe I’m savouring the moment? Hehe savouring the fact that I’ve actually completed a writing challenge with a clean sweep (every day without fail). I think I may return to the challenge in September – I wont do August as I am away for a week.

Prompt for day thirty: Recall a monumental decision you had to make recently. On the first day (yesterday), share with us the decision you made and the outcome of your choice. Was the outcome generally good or bad? On the second day (today), you have a chance to make a different decision. If you choose to change your decision, write about how that choice would affect your life now. If you decide to stay with the decision you made, explain why.

Looking at the prompt again, I’m not sure I chose the right decision to discuss since the decision I made was, technically, the only sensible way forward. However, there’s always a way to discuss things further.

What if I hadn’t retired?

My decision to retire came because I have my head screwed on and am able to look forward and analylise the consequences of happenings. In this case it was the arrival of two very fast girls onto the international scene, which would have had a negative affect on my own targets for London 2012. Some athletes cannot see beyond their next training session.
If I had not had the foresight to think ahead, I would have got a big shock when I saw what my qualifying times for London would be. More to the point, I’d have been mortified that I’d done 8 extra months of hard training, only to discover how slim my chances of making the team were.

What if the two girls had never shown up?

This is a pretty pointless question, but go with it.
If the two new girls hadn’t shown up at the European championships, I would have won 2 gold and a silver medal. Thereafter, my qualifying times would have been tough, but not impossible. So, I probably would have made the London 2012 team.
However, something happened between my retirement and London: everyone suddenly got very very fast. So, as turns out, I probably wouldn’t have medalled (looking at times) anyway. I am very competitive so if I’m not going to win anything in sport, I wouldn’t compete. I’d rather bow out near the top than bow out because I can’t compete with the top anymore.

What if there were no what ifs?

I was actually in the crowd, watching with my mum, when “my” races took place in London. My mum was obviously sad that I wasn’t in the pool racing. I wasn’t: I knew I was in the right place. I had no idea how I would feel until the competitors walked out on to the pool deck. I was so nervous; I kept asking myself “what if? What if?”

There were no what ifs.

To me, having to ask yourself “what if?” either means you’ve made the wrong choice or you haven’t tried hard enough. As soon as I saw the ccompetitors in the pool I realised there were no what ifs.

I am also a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. If I hadn’t have gone through my nightmare and then decided to retire:

• Chris and I wouldn’t have grown so close
• I wouldn’t have got my current job that I love so much
• I wouldn’t have finished my Masters degree already
• I would still be unhappy

I made the right decision!