Who Do I Think I Am??

This one's about a party and a plan (or lack thereof).

30DBC PROMPT: "Tell me about a party you organized, or the most recent one you attended."

This is a bit of a difficult prompt for me, because it's about the surprise 40th birthday party my ex had almost two tears ago. I came up with the idea, and mentioned it to her sister and her best friend. They were all for it. Her sis let us have it at her place, and got some of the food while coordinating the event with family members. I brought sausage, beer, snacks, pasta salad (that I made), and rounded up our friends. Her bestie organized her co-workers. Incredibly enough, my ex's work schedule was perfect that day...she was working right down the street from her sister's house, so I took her to work in the morning, did my shopping, made my contributions, and picked her up for what we casually called a "barbecue" at their place. It was an easy sell because we did that a lot.

There was a decent turn-out. When it was time to pick her up, we weren't quite sure how to manage the "surprise" part. I suggested huddling everyone in the garage...normally we'd enter the house from the front door, but I put the garage door opener in my pocket. As we made our way up the driveway, I activated the opener and everyone yelled. I had someone waiting with our camera to record my ex's reaction. She was truly surprised! Nobody snitched or leaked. I'm honestly amazed at how we were able to pull it off.

A few weeks later, her parents were in town visiting. Her mother was talking about what she had heard about the party, and kept going on and on about how my ex's sister did all the work and did such an amazing job, and she really seemed to be going out of her way to not thank me for my efforts and contributions, or acknowledge the importance of my role in the whole process.

I'm still a little frustrated by that, but I don't have much of a choice other than to be over it. Can't do nothin' about it now. But besides it being damn near impossible to pull off without a hitch, I don't foresee myself ever going through that kind of trouble for anyone again. Sure, at the time we don't know what the end result is going to be, and in a perfect world a party of such magnitude doesn't leave a sour taste in your mouth, but we all know the world's not a perfect place.

BCF PROMPT: "How short would your life have to be before you would have to start living differently today?"

I'm not sure if I understand the purpose of this prompt. Basically, you're saying I have to live a life that leads me to a shorter life expectancy, figure that out, and then change it in the hopes that I would prolong my life? Is that what's really going on here?

Well, that's how I'm treating it. I've never considered myself a lucky person, unless we're counting bad luck. Very few things often go the way they're planned (and it's neither here nor there if that's a result of my planning tendencies, or just the way things are, or some combination of the two). I can more likely rely on failure than positive thinking. I trust little and care less.

And what does all of that mean? It's the roundabout way of saying "I really don't have an answer" . I've had relatively few health scares (looking for some wood to knock on), but I'm still a little paranoid that someday I'll succumb to cancer or mental illness or some other form of death sooner rather than later. That's not to say I fear death; when your number's up, it's up. I accept that. I probably won't fight it. And I probably won't change. Ever.

If we live in fear of something or run and hide, are we really enjoying ourselves? Are the sacrifices we make really worth it? I'd rather be dead at 40 having done what I enjoy most than stretching life out over 80 years unfulfilled and bored. Call it pessimistic or cynical; I don't care. There are too many things to worry about. Life is for living. It's for taking chances, bucking trends and proving naysayers wrong again. Life itself, no matter how old you are, is too short. Always. There's always gonna be something that didn't get done, a hand not shaken, an "I love you" unsaid, a trip you were too sick to take. But I'm not just going to quit smoking because I might get cancer, or stop eating fast food 'cuz I might get fat, or worry about things that are out of my control because the stress might make my blood pressure rise. I'm not gonna overwhelm myself with what not to do. I'm gonna do the things I wanna do because in the end, it doesn't go along with you. When you're gone, you're gone. There's no going back for seconds. As Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam once said in the song "Light Years", "No need to be void, or save up on life...you gotta spend it all."

MUSICAL BREAK!!

Technical issues. Apparently this blog is now too large for WDC.