Who Do I Think I Am??

This one's about timers and his-story.

30DBC PROMPT: "This is a timed challenge. You will write for three minutes on the first subject, and when three minutes is up, you will write for another three minutes on the last noun you typed. Continue this as long as you think is reasonable. Your starting subject is: TRAVEL."

Happy Monday, said no one ever. What's up, good people out there? What do we have here? Something new and innovative in the annals of "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS"  history? A timed challenge? Unheard of! Ok, let me dig up my egg timer before I begin . Three minutes. Yeesh! Prove it!

Oh, and someone remind me what a "noun" is again? I'm laughing now, but watch me screw that part up pretty fiercely. Ok, here goes...

Travel. To travel is, in basketball terminology, to move your feet with the basketball minus the dribbling (that's my official definition because looking up the actual definition would cost me precious seconds). Last week it was beautiful out, but because of the condition of my ankle, I still am not allowed to shoot hoops. This made me sad. Now it's absolutely miserable outside; they're calling for rain and possibly wet snow. It's effing May, people!! The middle of May!! It's closer to summer now than winter!! Let's get a move on, sunshine!!

DING!!

Whew. I was starting to sound like a pissed-off second grader there. Ok, where am I? Sunshine!! Right. Listen sunshine, I don't have no time for it to be cold; ain't nobody got time for that. You hear me, sunshine? Let's get a bright and rosy move-on with it. You know it's still cold out when people are wearing pajama pants in public, and you're not even near a Wal-Mart. Seriously. I don't know what else to say about sunshine, other than I think my three minutes are almost up and I did a poor job of stretching that one out.

DING!!

Out. It's where it's at when it's not in. Or home. Or, also, not in. Out like bell-bottoms. Outta here like last year. Out like...not in. Innie, like my belly button. How many four-letter words can you make with the word "out"? Trick question!! "Tout" uses the same letters. I'm really struggling here. When did these prompts get so tough?

DING!!

Tough. Boy, this steak is tough. T-o-u-g-h. Tough. Oh, this isn't a spelling bee? So there's no trophy at the end? E-n-d, end. I wouldn't want to win a spelling bee. When you win one, you're usually invited to another one, and it's the next level up of spelling champs, which means it gets harder. That, and you usually have farther to travel.

DING!!

Travel. Geez. Back where I started. White flag . You win, "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" ...no, wait, "travel" is a verb, I'm pretty sure! No fair! I'm filing this entry under protest!! Making it all about nouns and starting off with a verb! Where's the grammar police?! They're all over when a brother's out there, using "their" instead of "they are", but when I need some nouns and verbs challenged, the "Out To Lunch" sign goes up, the donut shops get busy and laws are disregarded everywhere. Anarchy! Anarchy, I tell you, "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" !!

Who invited the drama queen?

BCF PROMPT: “If you could speak to anyone alive or dead throughout history who would you chose and why?”

Well, I'm really not a big history buff. I'm not really any kind of buff, unless I'm in the buff, but I'm not naked right now (although I'm pretty naked under my clothes), and unless being a Buffalonian counts, then no, I'm no buff nor not buff.

I imagine I could say something thought-provoking like "I'd like to go back 200 years and talk to an ancestor" or something like that, but I don't see anyone in my lineage being that particularly open. Especially to a kid who hasn't had a haircut in over a year and needs a good shave. I think my people were like that...always preferring the clean-shaven types. Maybe not. Depends on what side of the family tree I tried climbing up, I guess.

I don't even know if there's anyone in the history of music or sports I'd want to have a chit-chat with. If you know me, you know I don't really do the idolatry thing very much or very well, and I guess there are just some myths in life I don't want to see dispelled.

That's leaving me with very few options. I tend to be an empathetic person, and sure, I'm curious by nature. I'd love to sit down with a serious criminal and find out why he/she really did whatever heinous crimes they did. But that doesn't seem like it'd play well for this crowd, even with the 18+ rating.

Well, I got nothin'. And I can't sit here talkin' to myself all day, even on good days where I might be fun company. You know what might be fun? Sitting in front of a panel, and that panel's made up of a handful of the best ex-girlfriends I ever had. Moderated by a friend of mine (no idea who), in order to provide some balance since I'd be outnumbered. Make it some kind of joint Q&A session, where I get to ask things like "Why aren't we still together?" and "You really don't expect me to believe that, right?", and they can ask me things like "Did you really mean it when you said you were dating the hotter sister?" and "Do you expect me to still believe that?". That sounds like a good time, and it'd be a little more informative! Hey, if I leave your house and don't return your calls or call you for three weeks, it's probably over! Likewise if it's the other way around. And yes, your cats did piss me off, it has been this way with other girls, and I do matter!!

I don't know if I've ever worked up that much of a sweat when typing. I think I need a shower.

MUSICAL BREAK!!

"Well, don't you look at me like life doesn't hold you no mystery." Always loved that line.

VITAL STATS:

Good news for the first week of May!

** Image ID #1933256 Unavailable **

More physical therapy, first thing in the morning tomorrow. I am not a morning person. I think having to be at PT at 9am constitutes cruel and unusual punishment. Especially when walking still sucks.

I have more beefs with this library I visit. Maybe it's my OCD, but I'm very particular of where I sit in certain places (usually restaurants). I have to face a certain way in relation to things like doors, other people, and usually, if possible, where I can see the kitchen. And I almost always need to see a clock, but that's not the point. In this library, I've found a comfortable table to sit at. It's tucked in a corner, and depending on where I sit, I can see everything going on, or just a partial view. It'd be the best seat in the house, but it's located next to the damn copy machine. So when Suzie Q. 95-year-old-lady wants to copy every page of the New York Times' stock reports, guess who's copying one page at a time and setting them on my little private area of the world within a world? Yup, that lady. At least the dude after her who smelled like he ate an ashtray asked if he could borrow some of my table. That's manners. Use 'em, y'all, or get the stink-eye the rest of the time you're in my vision's way.

And you, sir, Mr. "I don't have enough devices to be connected to this free internet", the last I checked you had two hands, and one pair of eyes. No need to be on your laptop, iPad, and cell phone all at once...and then on top of it, you have to break the "silence" code here at the library, not only by playing some video of a woman speaking in a foreign language and moaning (yeah, it was loud), but then slamming your laptop screen shut like "oh no we di-in't jus' hear that!", while looking around and saying, "Oh, shit, I don't know how that happened!"...and then proceed to do it twice more. Thanks, guy. Three frickin' internet devices, and no common courtesy. Welcome to 2013.

And that's all I have for today. I think. I'm sure I had more to add but the weekend might do that to ya, I figure. At least that's my excuse and I'm standing firm on it. Peace, secure your devices, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!