Dazzling

Due: a Vomit of Prose

everything is due really really soon and i am more stressed and deadened than i know to express; i can't do anything right now, am retarded by due dates
oh man, i have not finished the unit of work on othello, i have a week to complete it, which seems long enough, but it really isn't, because
I have all my term 1 registers to do, stating what i taught day by day for eleven weeks last term, and what's more i have to finish
marking my year 10 essays on protest songs, i have marked only four and they were pretty poor. another twenty or so to go and then that is done
thankful that i finished marking those year 11 advanced essays on dystopia, they were okay, some were reasonably good while others were heartbreaking
both faheem and zulfuqar break my heart with their tryhard esl english and their love of writing and strong desire to work hard and do well but it is so hard to mark
essays with things like, and i quote, In Fahrenheit 451 for the superiority of individuals TV doesn’t really create adverse disposition
i also have to write a whole bunch of stuff on the identity unit featuring the australian film Footy Legends, this being aimed at year 8, my least-loved year
and i also have to finish my work on spy fiction for year 9 including reviews for the get smart episodes Ship of Spies and a scaffold so that they can write their own reviews
but one of the the things that worries me most is the othello unit as it is for advanced, they can be demanding (though i can too) and i have not taught othello before
we are looking at readings of othello - feminist, marxist, queer - and maybe post-colonial too - it can't be that hard, othello is one of shakespeare's simplest plays
i mean, there is only one emotion, really, sexual jealousy, and there are only two settings; there is no sub-plot and no comic relief, it's pretty straightforward
i also have a whole lot of work for the reading to learn program in which we have to participate on monday and tuesday, waste of my time but i have no choice
i have had two weeks off work in which i should have got all of this completed and while i have started everything i have finished almost nothing and seem to spend
most days in bed till 11 staring at walls and then hauling out of bed to play spider solitaire and click through friends' images on facebook and not use my time
with any productivity at all. i am behind with the april poems and the ones i have written are not special and i don't care because i put no heart or even time into them
i only care because i feel that at present i have lost myself forever and will spend the rest of my life staring at walls and not feeling good enough when i know
that these periods have fallen on me before and i have come out the other side unscathed and with value, so this doesn't matter and this will pass, except
i fear of the anger of my colleagues, when all that is due, due to them as well as to me, when i cannot do or will not do everything that is due