Who Do I Think I Am??

This one's about the child.

THE PROMPT: "It is said that we all have a child inside us. Write about what the child inside you asks for. Whether that child is still living or is suffocated in the whole hustle-bustle of life?"

What's up? Welcome, from both myself and my inner child. Oh, he's alive, folks. Very much so. And he's a he. How do I know this? Because it makes sense, and it's my blog.

Now, before I go wasting time I don't want to waste, who exactly is it that said we have a child in us? Was it Freud? I hope it wasn't Freud. No, for real, who has it been said by? I'd like to know, if and when I decide either to thank that person or kick them in the shins.

My kid is a lot like any other kid, and you know how kids are these days. Always asking for money, McDonalds and more cowbell. Kids, I swear...they don't know the value of hard work or the reward of a job well done. Mine is no different. He's always staying up late, falling head over heels for the loose women, and leaving the toilet seat up. The only rule that seems to apply to him is that he makes the rules, and breaks them as well.

The hustle-bustle of life? That's a joke to this kid. He seems to relish in proving that there's no such thing. Clearly, success hasn't spoiled him and failure's just another reason to try again. The kid's fearless, and not in a "I'm gonna part my hair on the right side today" kind of way. I'm talkin' immortal..."Dying of embarrassment" isn't in his vocabulary.

For all his faults and flaws, he's pretty amazing. He does things I wish I could do, and he does them in his sleep.

Someday, I'm gonna figure out his secret. I'm gonna find that kid. I'll clone him and sell him off to crazier nations for big money. Maybe science can figure him out. Maybe they'll find a way to stop him. Or maybe he'll become bigger than anything imaginable...bigger than slap bracelets, silly bandz and Chia pets. And maybe, just maybe, I'll grow up to be just like him.

MUSICAL BREAK!!

Don't be jealous of my pumped-up boot.

VITAL STATS:

I have chocolate-covered bacon in my possession, and I'm thinking that you don't.

Alright folks...I'm out of here. I just got word there's a sale on cloned pieces of meteors down at the store that sells rocks, and it's supposed to be stellar. Keep looking for it...there's no joke in there. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!