Jaded Warriors book 2 (Jade Series)

Chapter 6

Chapter 6


I woke to the chime of the doorbell as I stirred under the covers of my bed and opened my eyes. A bright light filtered in through the curtains from the blue sky outside. I looked around and questioned how I ended up in my room. After sitting by the fire last night with Gage, I must have dosed off and I wondered if he carried me to bed.


“No… not right now.”


“It would… good… get out.”


I heard Kane's voice, muffled on the other side of the door as he spoke to someone. Fragments of the conversation made it to my ears as I strained to hear whom he talked too and what they said. A woman's voice. I crept closer and pressed my ear to the door.


“She’s not up for visitors right now, Mayor,” he paused, I heard him sigh. “What’s up, Mike?”


“Are you coming back out soon?”


“Not until I know she’s okay and safe.”


“You and Gage both need to be here?  We need to get…”


“Yeah!  We both need to be here! And I know what needs to be done.”  Kane didn’t give Mike any time to respond. “I'm not taking any chances. This two-man security you have patrolling isn’t enough. I’m not leaving her here by herself. Beef it up and we’ll talk.”


“Damian isn’t around these parts anymore. I’ve heard from inside sources him and Rubin are in Colorado, not sure why. Morrison has bigger problems out at the oil refinery, but we need to keep the pressure on. Our supplies are getting low. How’s she doing anyway, people are asking?”


“How do you think? Not too good.”


“Prescott has asked if he can come by and see her.”


“Why?”


“I don’t know, maybe to offer his apologies.”


“That isn’t necessary. No, he doesn’t need to come by,” Kane said boldly. I remembered that name. I saw him once at a meeting Kane held at our house before all of this started. He came late.  “Where’s he been hiding? I haven’t seen him around for a while.”


“Prescott managed to make it back east to see what he could do on that end, he’s back though… He’s been around. I’ve met with him and what’s left of the council members of the surrounding towns and the city,” Olivia said. I smiled briefly at the sound of her voice, but thankful Kane told her I wasn't up for visitors. “There are six of us left, including me as acting Mayor. We are going to work together to get the surrounding counties as a whole, back on its feet but it’s going to take a while. We’re establishing a watch group along the borders of these small towns. Older men, since we can’t spare anyone right now from the front line, but someone will be on watch twenty-four seven to make sure Damian doesn’t come back here.”


“It’ll take more than few old men to keep them away, Mayor. And we’re already doing that,” Kane said.


“I know that but it will be more involved, more men, more widespread…”


“I know you're mad, Kane, but keep focused,” Charles interrupted. “The only way we can ensure Morrison and Damian stay gone is to keep the momentum and get rid of them all together. We need the refinery and we need as many men as we can get. He’s going to be ready for us, we need to give him everything we've got.”


“Even with the refinery, Charles, are we going to be able to have it up and running? I know we need fuel, but how are we going to process it?”


“We won’t be able to, we don’t have the man power or the resources anymore, but there are three big storage tanks full of fuel, already processed and stored before the virus. That’s what Morrison is depending on right now. That’s what he’s using. We need to take it from him. Cripple him like he did us.”


“It all comes down to we need that fuel, and we need you back,” Mike said, as he broke in. “Just keep that in mind Kane we need you guys back as soon as you think she’s well enough that you can leave. The men need to see you are still in this. Are you?”


“Of course I am.”


“Then let them know you are. We need your fury again. You drove those battles, Kane. The others are looking to you to push them again.”


“I’ll let you know.”


“Is Gage around?” Olivia asked. “I got his message and I wanted to talk to him about it, you too if you can. I think we’re about ready if you are. Maybe tonight.”


“He’s out back. I’ll take you out there but I won't be going on this one. I'm staying here.”


***


"Hey, Jade… are you awake?" I faintly heard Gage ask through the darkness as he opened the door to my room. My body jerked slightly as I woke from a state of somewhere between drowsiness and restless sleep.


"Yeah," I said sleepily, and I rolled over to face him as the dim lighting from the fire in the front room filtered in through the doorway. I watched the darkened silhouette of his thickened shoulders lean against the frame.


"Can I come in?"


"Yeah."


His heavy boots echoed against the hard wood flooring then muffled as he crossed the rug to the bed. The mattress shifted under the weight of him as he sat next to me. Dark shadows crossed over his face and prevented me from seeing the expression in his eyes. His jaw tense, with his lips drawn in a tight line and I felt my heart sink.


"What is it?"


"Nothing…" he paused, "I have to go away for a couple of days." He sounded uncertain. I noticed his shirt, as black as the black sword around his neck and the dark shadows that loomed between us. A million things raced through my mind. Where did he need to go that he needed to leave in the darkness of night?


"Where?"


"I have something I need to take care of, don't worry... If…" I felt the hesitation in his voice.


"If what?"


"Nothing… Kane will still be here. I just wanted to let you know I had to leave…"


What did he stop himself from saying? I couldn't bear it, what if he didn't come back? I suddenly felt scared as my throat tightened and I grasped his forearm. "Gage… Don't go."


I heard him take a deep breath then with a weighty exhale, felt his reluctance as my hand slipped from his arm. He moved closer and leaned over me in the darkness. My breath wavered as I inhaled suddenly and held my breath as I suppressed the panic inside me. I swallowed at the knot in my throat as my heart tightened in my chest. With his hand next to my cheek, he pressed it into the soft pillow to hold himself above me. The moonlight settled perfectly on his face and I saw the determination and intensity in his blue eyes as they searched mine.


"I need to do this."


"Do what?"


"This…"


He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. His lips lingered briefly, soft and warm against my skin, then he pulled away. I wasn't sure what he meant by that. Needed to kiss me? Needed to leave? I didn't know, but I left it to hang in the air.  Then before I could say anything else, he turned and walked out of the room.


***


Gage returned two days later as he said. His superficial wounds confirmed that whatever he did, it was dangerous, but he made no mention of his injuries and wore them as if they didn't exist. He had to know I saw them, but he said nothing to acknowledge their presence as if somehow his silence protected me from something. After about a week, they faded into nothing. Whatever Gage left to do that night, he risked his life, and I was relieved he made it back home.


Over the next few weeks, I tried to do better and came out of the bedroom more often. I felt ashamed that my effort to contribute to my own recovery was next to nothing while everyone else put their life on the line. I felt bad Mike needed Kane elsewhere but he felt he couldn’t leave because of me.


I found myself wanting to talk to Kane but I didn’t know how. I could always talk to Trey, it just came natural and even when I didn't feel like talking he had a way of pulling it from me. Trey and I shared just about everything and he usually knew what I would say before I actually said it. But to tell Kane my thoughts seemed strange.


Despite the next to impossible task of just breathing, I managed to force myself to keep going, for Gage and Kane, more than anything. My appetite returned slowly and I ate better. My ribs weren’t as noticeable anymore and I resembled myself more when I looked in the mirror. I felt stronger and the color in my face looked better even though I still couldn’t stand to look at myself. I had to make a conscious effort every day to get out of bed, to get dressed, to come out of the room, to eat, but in spite of how hard it was, I managed.


The morning moved slowly just as every other day and I willed myself to pull out of bed. I sat at the edge and forced my legs to move, one after the other. I felt hungry though, almost starving and it surprised me that I had an appetite. I heard Kane in the kitchen earlier and I headed that way.


“Kane?”  I paused at the doorway a bit surprised and I hesitated for a moment as I folded my arms across my chest, unsure if I wanted to continue. Kane sat at the table with his back to me and turned when he heard me. But it was the eyes of the three other men that looked my way that left me uncomfortable.


I looked around the room for Gage but I didn’t see him, just the faces of Chale, Elias and Joel, suddenly looking as uncomfortable as I was. Their conversation cut short, as if I severed it with a knife and I felt the silence as if poured over me. They shifted in their chairs as they tried not to make too much eye contact. They failed miserably at hiding the pressure put on them by me suddenly being present. 


“Oh, I’ll come back.”


“No, Jade, come in,” Kane said, as he pulled out a chair. I hadn’t seen Chale since before I was taken and I saw Elias only briefly the day of the rescue. Even though I dismissed Elias's shocked look then, I definitely saw it.


They didn’t expect to see me. Maybe they hoped not to. I suddenly felt vulnerable and exposed, unable to hide myself from the eyes that squirmed to avoid me. It was as if they’d never set eyes on a girl before and the look on their faces was enough to tell me I would be treated differently from now on. 


“That’s okay.”


“You don’t have to leave, Jade,” Joel said. His eyes didn’t pull away, but he too seemed a little uncomfortable. “We were just about to go.”


“Well, don’t go on my account. I don’t want to kick you out of your own house, Joel.”


At that moment, Gage walked in through the door that led from the garage and saved us all as his presence filled the room. He moved to the table. I saw that he immediately recognized my unease and the strain in the air. He casually moved a step closer to me as if to provide a shield in front of them. I felt the tension melt as if he himself absorbed it and drew it away.


“Hey Jade…” Gage paused briefly only to flash me his warm comforting smile as he grabbed a handful of almonds in a dish on the table and threw a few in his mouth and munched on them, a rare luxury that Marge brought over the other day. I smiled weakly back and then he turned to the others.  “Are you guys coming or not.”


“Yeah,” Joel responded.


“Well, let’s go then.”


“I’ll be out in a minute, Gage,” Kane added. He stood and walked towards me and as if on cue, the others stood as well, scraping the chair legs against the tile floor all in unison. Their heavy boots scuffed against the floor as they went for their jackets and hats then walked out with Gage. A buzzing silence filled the kitchen.


“Did you need something?” He asked, as he stopped in front of me and casually glanced up as he pulled his leather workman’s gloves out of his back pocket and set them on the counter.


“No, never mind. I didn’t mean to interrupt,” I said, with a sigh.


“You weren’t interrupting,” he said, as he eyed me with obscurity.


“Obviously. By the way they all stopped talking and looked at me, I think I was.”


“We weren’t talking about you, Jade.”


“I can’t imagine what you all would be saying if you were.” The bitterness in my voice cut sharp, but only in an attempt to hide the hurt I felt by feeling so uncomfortable, so out of place. Kane looked stunned briefly by my comment but then empathy filled his eyes and I knew he wished he could fix things.


“Do you want something to eat?”


“No.”


“Let me rephrase that. Come and eat,” he ordered with sternness in his voice. I gave Kane a scowl at his insistence, but I didn’t resist and he smiled. The first smile I’d seen from him in a while.


He pulled me to a chair and I sat while he sliced a piece of bread Marge had baked and spread peanut butter over it. He filled the chair next to me and let his gaze wander to the window as I absently worked on the bread. Silence consumed the room around us. It wasn’t the same uncomfortable silence as before when the others were here, but just a quiet calm as if nothing needed said. If Trey were here, this is how it would be, quiet, a bond, an understanding between siblings so I took the lack of words between Kane and me as good.


“What are you guys doing outside?”


“Building another windmill for the farm house behind us, we’re going to expand the farm. We need to grow a lot of food.”


“Oh… How do you plan on running two farms and fighting a war Kane?”


“It’s going to be a community farm. Everyone who lives around here will help. We have an army that is growing bigger every day that has to eat. Men want to know that if they aren’t home, their families won’t starve.”


“You don’t have to sit with me. Sounds like you have things to do.”


“It’s okay. That can wait. Did you have something you wanted to ask me?”


“I don’t remember what it was. I’ll be fine, go ahead and go.”


“Okay, I’ll be back in a few hours if you remember.”


Kane stood to leave and as he passed by me, I felt his hand give my shoulder a squeeze. I looked back at him, his sentiment acknowledged as I gave him a weak smile and I watched him walk outside.


After Kane left, I looked around the less than clean kitchen. It probably drove Gage crazy. He liked things clean and from what I could see he did most of the cleaning, except when Marge stopped over, then he gladly let her take over her natural place in the kitchen. But from the looks of it, she hadn’t been by for a while and the kitchen had to wait.


I glanced at the back door. The tile entry way was covered in dirty footprints, most of them dry from the in and out traffic over the last few days. A few small pieces of snow off the bottom of Gage’s boots melted and dissolved the dirt on the floor into mud.


I forced myself to move, one undertaking at a time as I picked up the broom and swept. Streaks of dirt spread across the floor. Each thought, each action purposeful, mechanical, and evoked much effort to keep my mind on task as much as it was to keep myself in motion. Stir the coals, place wood on the dying fire, and boil more water. Each chore chiseled minuscule pieces of the numbness I tried to hold onto to cover up the pain.


I walked to the sink and sighed as I turned on the water. The muffled cranking of the pump vibrated through the walls and reverberated through the pipes. I held my hand under the faucet. Nothing but cold water, but it was better than no water at all as I filled the sink and poured what was left of hot water in a pan from earlier.


I searched for the mop and found it in the back hallway. The rag head dried stiff, took the shape of the corner it sat in. I dropped it in the water and found ammonia under the sink. My arms ached as I pushed the mop around on the floor. Under the table, around chair legs, rinse, then in front of the stove. The floor almost black from the ashes from the fire. I rinsed again, the water turned grey. The mop slapped to the floor a final time as I worked into the hallway. The shine worth the energy it drained from me as I stood in the back corner slightly winded and stared at my work.


I brushed a stray strand of my hair out of my face as I glanced at the pan on top of the stove, steam billowed from boiling water. I tiptoed across the wet floor careful not to leave footprints and drained the dirty water. Then poured fresh, hot water into the sink to agitate the soft slippery soap I squirted in the sink, turning it into weightless foamy bubbles.


I let cool water from the tap trickle in as my hands soaked in the hot soapy water soothing the tiredness my body felt. I relieved the countertops, littered with dirty dishes as I slipped them into the hot water. With each plate, each bowl, each glass washed tedium took over. I didn’t have to think about how to work anymore as the monotony flowed through me. I just moved, robot-like, as if powered on by a switch as my mind drifted to Gage. A rush of emotion suddenly cursed through me as a knot tightened in my throat.


The back door flew open with a burst of air from the door and I whirled around, startled by Kane's footsteps. My hands dripped of white foamy bubbles as he strode inside and reached for his pair of gloves he left on the counter.


“It's so cold outside… I forgot my gloves. Sorry about walking on your clean floor, it looks like you've…” he paused, midsentence as he glanced around the room then at me, concern filtered quickly into his eyes. “You've been busy… are you okay?”


“No…” Suddenly, tears filled my eyes as if a floodgate opened and released them. I drew in a quick breath as I reached for the towel. His demeanor changed instantly to weighted concern. I looked away from his questioning eyes.


“Jade, what is it?”


“Nothing,” I said. I glanced down at my fidgety hands, plenty dry as I continued to wring them in the towel, then gripped them together tightly to steady them as I sighed.  “I don't know where that came from.”


He gripped the sides of my head and forced me to look at him. I stiffened. Unable to, I closed my eyes. “Jade, look at me… Just try, what is it?”


“How do I tell him?” My eyelids fluttered open as I tried to avoid him but unable to, I glanced at him with saddened eyes.


“Who?  Gage?”


“Yeah…”


“Tell him what?”


“I'm afraid that,” I paused, unable to continue as my chin trembled, a muffled sob escaped me as I tried to force it back. “What if…”


“Listen to me,” he said, with unyielding resolve, as he looked at me with purpose. “If I loved someone, as much as I know that Gage loves you… as painful as it would be to hear it, it wouldn't change how I felt, if I knew she was raped… but it would hurt like hell, to know she couldn't tell me and tried to keep it from me to save my feelings.”


Unable to force back my tears any longer, I covered my face with my hands to hide the shame I felt. In spite of my resistance, he curled my trembling body in his arms as I tried to push him away. He wouldn’t let go and I gave in. I clutched his shirt and balled it into my hands.


“I'm sorry…”


“Don't be… what happened to you, wasn't your fault. Gage knows, Jade… we all do. I'm sorry that makes you uncomfortable.”


“I don't want anyone to know, especially him.”


“He may not know the details, but he knows and still loves you, it doesn’t change anything. He knew the moment Damian took you… he knew before he took you, what would happen if Damian got ahold of you… He crossed that bridge a long time ago, he didn't think twice about it and hasn't looked back.”


“I feel like I'm not good enough for him.”


“I know you do… and you couldn't be more wrong.”


I glanced at him briefly through anguish and tears, unsure if I could let my heart believe him. The determination in his eyes told me, that even if I gave up on myself, he never would. My lungs constricted, choking my air as I rested my cheek back against his chest.


“It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or knows about you, it's how you feel about yourself. This is what Damian wants… to make you feel weak, ugly, unworthy… everything you're not. Look around… He’s not here, Jade… Are you really going to let him do that to you? You are stronger than that.”


I didn’t feel strong. I let his words absorb into my mind as the beat of his heart pulsed in my ear. Slow and steady with a soothing rhythm, strong like his arms. The panic inside me waned into a dull jitteriness and I felt my body relax.


“Kane…”


“Yeah,” he asked. His voice resonated in his chest against my cheek.


“Morrison…” I paused, my voice wavered and I swallowed painfully at the knot in my throat as I forced myself to continue. I felt Kane tense as he waited in silence. Thoughts of the conversation behind the door to Morrison’s office replayed in my mind, the voices, the questions and threats, muddled together as I tried desperately to sort through them. “I overheard him talking to someone, I’ll never forget the man’s voice… he was angry with Morrison,” I paused, then inhaled sharply as I closed my eyes in an attempt to place myself back into the hallway of the compound, back under his control. I felt my insides begin to tremble, then Kane squeezed me tighter and rubbed his rough fingers over my back in an attempt to soothe me.


“It’s okay, Jade,” he said softly. “I’m the only one here and no one is going to come hurt you… you’re safe.”


I pressed closer against him and clenched his shirt in my hand as I ignored my silent tears that stained his shirt. The memories of Morrison terrorizing me, painful as I tried to recall important information, important for Kane, information I wanted to forget. “They were talking… they were looking for someone, the vice whoever that is… I never saw the man but he was mad that Morrison hadn’t found him yet,” I said, “does that mean anything to you?”


“Did they say anything else? Did he ever say the man’s name?”


“I don’t remember hearing a name… Morrison got defensive because the man started criticizing his tactics at killing the chief. He said he practically gave him the vice just like he did the chief and Morrison blew it.”


“Really?” Kane said, bewildered. He held me out at arms-length and looked at me, still clutching my shoulders. His eyebrows raised as his eyes, alert and questioning, searched mine. “The chief?”


“I’m sure they are code words but… Morrison swore he would take care of the vice… who are they, who’s the chief?”


“I’ve heard Prescott use that term more than once. The chief is… the commander in chief, the president of the United States… and there’s only a handful of people who are close enough to the president on a normal day to hand him over to be killed.”


“Oh,” I said, my voice raised a notch in surprise. “Morrison killed the President?”


“It seems next to impossible,” he said, “but if that’s the case… if Morrison really did kill the president and he’s looking for the vice… that means the vice president is out there somewhere, the vice president is still alive.”