Reflection Of Life

Chapter - 10 : Sunk in Darkness

Saima walked in the kitchen, the whole house was still asleep. The tiled kitchen was quite slippery; she had to handle herself carefully. Hunger kept her awoke for quite a long time in the previous night. When hungry; she had to cook for herself. Obviously, Saima had a refrigerator full of delicious dishes and snacks, but unfortunately there was none last night. She did not even feel like going near the fire, a hard day’s work took a toll on her health; she sank into a deep slumber soon after returning from school.


The dark house looked spooky at the break of dawn. They had innumerable wind chimes scattered everywhere in the house, which created a chorus, especially at night if the windows were kept open.

They had innumerable wind chimes scattered everywhere in the house, which created a chorus, especially at night if the windows were kept open. Saima just opened up the dark brown kitchen cabinet filled with powdered drinks. A large flask of hot water was always ready beside the cabinet; she just made herself a mug of creamy hot chocolate, there was nothing like a warm mug of hot drink at such a chilly morning. A faint tapping sound could be heard not far away from the kitchen. Saima was well aware of the source of that sound. It was her mother, typing for her online journal. The tapping was accompanied by the unmistakable odor of betel leaf with Jarda, a special scented tobacco consumed with the leaf.


Saima lived with only her mother and maternal grandparents at the palace type building her mother had built when she was younger. Saima’s parents got divorced when she was only two. Her mother was, and still is, a very quarrelsome woman who could not adjust with the calm and timid nature of her father. As a result, the teen had to live without father’s love all throughout her life, because her mother did not allow him to meet her. Though he did sometimes call her, and sent her cellphone texts, still, she got a chance to meet him once in a blue moon. That too, had to be done secretly.

Saima came out of the kitchen with the hot chocolate for herself and two cups of lemon tea for her mother and grandmother. Her grandfather always slept quite late at night, so he could hardly see the beauty of early morning.
“Good Morning Ma, Good Morning Nani!” Saima greeted with her usual tone, and immediately received a toothless grin from the elderly lady. Her mother, however, kept on typing and did not notice her presence. After a little while, Saima’s mother turned her face towards her daughter:


“Shouldn’t you be in bed now, young lady? Why on earth do you have to get up so early?”


“It’s because I like getting up at dawn Ma, and I can also study more, before going to school.” Saima replied, as she took the empty teacup from her mother.


“Oh well, do whatever you please.” Rebecca answered, looking directly into her daughter’s eyes.


That was the part Saima loathed about her mother. She was always in her own world, without any other interests about anything. She preferred business trips over Saima’s birthday party; she liked writing her own journal instead of her homework. Fariha’s caring parents seemed way better.


“I wish I could swap parents with you.” She had told Fariha once.


Saima strolled into her own bedroom. The mosaicked floor looked as if it could use some cleaning. Tidying up such floors took a lot of effort and money, so it was in her mother’s “to be done” list for now.

Ever since childhood, she hardly got quality time from her mother. Every day, before going to school she would find about five hundred taka either on the oven or on her reading table, her pocket money for the day. Normally, teens of her age would not require such a generous amount of daily allowance.


Being a voracious eater, Saima would spend more than three quarters of that money for food. She did not even prefer the school cafeteria; she would often go out to comparatively expensive restaurants with her peers. Sometimes she would even take some of the recipes from the cooks over there, and then try them at home.


On the other hand, she would spend the rest of the money to buy gifts for her peers, as often as twice a week. For her, money could buy everything she wanted. Naturally, many people, especially those who liked to take advantages of others, were lured towards her by the gifts, because she did not give trivial presents. Sometimes, Saima even gave gold pendants to her female friends. Males sometimes got expensive watches and wallets from her.

Despite being so much into food, Saima did not gain weight, as she had a lovely park beside her house where she would take her grandpa every day. The aged man was unable to move by himself, and a little bit of roaming around amongst the greenery, along with a little bit of chatting with old men of his age, was a good source of recreation for him. Saima would just place her grandpa’s wheelchair somewhere near his friends. The old men would talk, sometimes drink the tea Saima bought with her, or read religious books.


The walkway of that park was spectacular. Saima would check on her grandpa after every round of walking. She was a favorite amongst his friends, many of whose children and grandchildren were away from them.


Rebecca blamed Saima for the divorce. She would never accept her own faults regarding family life.


“This male dominated society prefers sons, not daughters. You are a female, a curse!” She would tell the teen.


In reality, sons and daughters got equal preference in Bangladesh. The country where two most important political positions were held by women, girls could create their own identity in various ways. Yes, it is true that still, some women did suffer from domestic violence, torture for dowry and other similar stuff.
Such taunts from her mother decreased Saima’s self-confidence to a great extent, it even made her suffer from inferiority complex.

As a result, gradually she became jealous of her own best friend, someone who was a Xerox copy of herself.

“Aunty never says bad words to Fariha that way, but why does Ma do that?” Saima would often ask herself.

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