Poems I've placed into statics, now transfered here with record of stats and reviews |
(something I found amongst the pieces of papers... another scribbled note) Tight throated throbbing I will not cry tears Desperate telephone calling Clutching through the years Another island Another shelter closed Keep on moving I survival have chosen Ears roaring, Bitterness growing I am pleading, My desperation showing I sought love, nurturing, to feel that someone cares I found intolerance, rejection my presence no one can bare D. McKinsey 4-2-90 © Copyright 2002 DyrHearte (UN: dyrhearte at Writing.Com). All rights reserved. DyrHearte has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work. Item Size: 0.56 KB (143 views) Ratings: 4.5 Stars 3 50% 5 Stars 2 33.3% 3 Stars 1 16.7% Total Ratings: 6 100.0% Reviews: 4 1) Review By: Shelster Date and Time: 03-17-02 @ 11:44pm Public/Private: Private Reviewer's Rating: (5.0) Review Length: 42 Characters | 42 w/o WritingML This is a very emotional piece, I love it! 2) Review By: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ Date and Time: 06-02-08 @ 12:38pm Public/Private: Public Reviewer's Rating: (4.5) Review Length: 717 Characters| 496 w/o WritingML I felt terrible sadness and pain in this poem. It is almost that sheer despair that leaves the heart broken and the soul hollow. You do make the reader understand the emotions portrayed. It has been wonderful visiting your port today. I will return before the month is over. Thank you for letting me pop over for a visit. You are a lovely host. Until next time--write on! Ta, WW 3) Review By: warriormom Date and Time: 06-04-08 @ 1:41pm Public/Private: Public Reviewer's Rating: (5.0) Review Length: 761 Characters | 525 w/o WritingML Theme and Prompt Form Excellent Form. I like the way you moved the second stanza over to show a different time of life, or a different phase. Spelling and Grammar No errors found. My Favorite Part Tight throated throbbing I will not cry tears Suggestions None. Personal Opinion Very moving. Strong message that needs to be given a voice! Keep painting pictures with words! Warrior Mom 4) Review By: Yellow Rose Date and Time: 07-22-12 @ 7:29pm Public/Private: Public Reviewer's Rating: (4.5) Review Length: 1,356 Characters | 1,332 w/o WritingML Changing my format for reviews. DISCLAIMER: This comes to you as a reader would see your work. I have only my opinion to offer. Sometimes I might find a bit of your work I thought that I might express feelings about. If it struck a cord etc. If there should be such an entry under 'EMOTIONAL CHORD STRUCK' that is just my feelings and not meant to hurt or take liberty with the authors work. TITLE: Fits the content well. IMAGERY: Good and vivid. The character in this piece is expressing the fact that life has turned her into an outcast. Those that should love her, turn their backs. Even to the extent of showing indifference and rejection. Only by her perseverance has she been able to survive. Bitterness has found a spot in her heart but that is expected. EMOTIONAL CHORD STRUCK: Imagine if you could find no shelter as this character. The shelter isn't just a dwelling but the shelter is love. Someone to hold her and accept her and not treat her badly. Where is the dignity she deserves? TONE: Good depth of feelings. Pain is felt here. Sadness as well. SPELLING ERRORS:None found. FLOW: Flow is good. The word choice is good OVERALL: Good read. Please keep sharing. Yellow |