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Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/entry_id/760930-Faded-and-is-Lost
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Rated: 13+ · Book · Adult · #1892056
Poems I've placed into statics, now transfered here with record of stats and reviews
#760930 added September 22, 2012 at 4:17pm
Restrictions: None
Faded and is Lost
[Falling into Lost Love's pain]

Faded and is Lost

The dark chilled blanket of night
has fallen upon the warmth of a sunny afternoon
Eyes blinded by the descending sun
Still see neon shadows where a moon should be
but isn't

Stars twink and shine through vapor mists of
Stratospheric cloud

Is that a satellite, a sputnik slipping by
In the dark between the lights of far away suns?

No matter, it has faded and is lost past the horizon it travels

A chill breeze softly shivers away the remnants
of a warm summer day
Red mars and white venus are lost in a cloud
I am cold
I go to sleep never to recapture the summer
warmth gone so suddenly


25 March 1990
revised 17 February 2002


© Copyright 2001 DyrHearte (UN: dyrhearte at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
DyrHearte has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.



Item Size: 0.38 KB (137 views)

Rates:
5 Stars 1 50%
4 Stars 1 50%
Total Ratings: 2 100.0%


reviews: 1


Review By: johnny1209
Date and Time: 08-21-12 @ 5:28am
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: 5.0
Review Length: 600 Characters | 593 w/o WritingML

Hello DyrHearte,

I found your lovely poem through a random read. I would give it a 5.0 just for the imagery such as 'Stars twink and shine through vapor mists of Stratospheric cloud.' Your description says 'Falling into Lost Love's pain' which I don't quite 'get' , but I love the description of the warmth of the day evolving into the chilliness of the night. I can understand the last two lines only in the event of death since typical weather patterns tend to repeat themselves.

The poem is well written; I see no errors and have no serious suggestions to make. Nice job!

© Copyright 2012 DyrHearte writes (UN: dyrhearte at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
DyrHearte writes has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/entry_id/760930-Faded-and-is-Lost