Love's Suicide

Chapter 9

Chapter 9








         They pulled into the venue’s parking area, Kyra exclaimed, “Damn!”. Jimmy scanned the lot looking for a space while Kyra avoided the pedestrians and other cars.





         Jimmy saw a spot and directed Kyra to it. Out of nowhere a car came speeding down the lot toward her in a mad dash for the space. She nearly hit the car and laid on the horn but the driver paid her no heed, got out of the car cussing her out. He was pissed and threatened her with physical harm.





         Needless to say his blustering did not scare her and she was not even the slightest bit concerned. She knew the chances of them meeting again were astronomical.





         After a half hour of hunting, Jimmy spotted a space. Kyra pulled into the space with no further problems. They got out and walked the nearly 5 yards to the front entrance and were hustled through the security checks. She was glad she did not have to stand in the entry line.





         Once passed security, the lobby and halls were jam packed, wall-to-wall people, you could hardly move in the crowd. It looked like a chaotic SOUP of warm bodies.





         Pushing her way through the crowd, she saw him, the band’s vocalist, standing to one side of the hall, leaning against the wall, staring at her or so it appeared. Her eyes met his, he smiled and then it seemed he blushed and she thought she saw him giggle a little. She looked around and noticed the girl behind her had seen him too and was making flirtatious gestures at him and making him laugh.





         He set his sights on Kyra, intent on watching her every move. Soon he became focused only on her and saw no one else but her. The smile slipped from his face, his eyes looked vacant and hollow. It looked like he had fallen into some kind of dreamlike state. He did not even notice the other band member when he came out to find him and tell him it was nearly show time.





         Kyra walked through the crowd and two boys shoved her into the wall close to where he stood. They were giving her some kind of sermon about her not being able to enjoy the band’s music because of her age.





         What were they talking about? She was not much older than they were. She could understand the music and the emotions behind it better than those ignorant punks. So she decided to quiz them on it and asked them to tell her what the subject a specific song was… They couldn’t so they got violent.





         One boy said to her, “Just go home. You don’t belong here!” and punched her in the stomach. She doubled over, holding her stomach, breathing heavily. Smack! Someone hit her in the face and she hit the wall behind her with a thud. The boys approached her as she slid down the wall to sit on the floor wincing in pain………





         She looked up………… and through the tears streaming down her face, she saw the boys running away.  She caught a glimpse of her rescuer. She couldn’t see very well through the tears but she thought it was him, the band’s front man. She wiped away the tears with the sleeve of her shirt and looked up again…………..He was gone.





         Her stomach throbbed and ached, as she got to her feet. She was a  little unsteady on her feet and shaking like a leaf from the crushing pain in her stomach. She walked very cautiously through the throng, not wanting to spew her dinner all over the place. Finally she made it to the seats where Jimmy waited and sat down……..a minute later, her stomach began to settle down a bit.





         Jimmy noticed she walked strangely and held her stomach, he asked, “Are you alright?”





         “Yes.”





         “What happened?”





         “Just a minor disagreement.”





         “Was it resolved?”





         “Yes.”





         Jimmy need not ask what the “disagreement” was about. He knew it was about her being a fan of the band. He imagined that, these children thought, being 33, she was too old to enjoy their music and took offense to her being there.





         When her stomach started throbbing again her face showed the pain but Jimmy did not see this because he had seen some friends and directed them to come join him here but they had front row seats, on the floor. They said they had saved him two seats, so he drug Kyra down to the front row. Just as they got to the front, a security guard noticed that the boy had a backstage pass clipped onto his shirt, the man stopped him.





         “Hey son, follow me.” He said in a low baritone voice. “Bring her along too.” he whispered to Jimmy.





         Jimmy grabbed Kyra’s hand and pulled her towards the backstage entrance.





         “What are you doing?” she asked pulling away. “Where are we going?”





         “Backstage as these badges allow………..” he replied as he held up a second one for her to clip on her shirt.





         “Come on the show is going to start soon.” the security guard ordered.





         “Kyra, COME ON! “ Jimmy said turning around. The look on her face was one of complete dismay.





         She followed hesitantly at first, then she thought that she may be able to ask him why he ran away without inquiring as to how she was after the attack.





         She was nervous and shaking, when she heard voices coming from behind a closed door a few feet from where she stood. One voice stood out from the others. The person spoke with an accent she didn’t recognize and had perfect syntax. It made her feel so many things at once but at the forefront was a sense of comfort. She quit shaking and no longer took note of her stomach‘s complaints.





The conversation she heard went like this:





         “What took you so long?” One voice questioned. “I called you in nearly ten minutes ago.”





         “I had something to do.”





         “Come when I call you!”





         “Yes Mom!” The second speaker said jokingly.





         “Who, were you ooooooogling at? That silly girl flirting with you from across the room?”





         No reply was made to that question, but the questioner said… “Silly wasn’t she? But she was cute.”





         “Huh? Who?”





         “The girl in the crowd, the one who was flirting with you in the hall.”





         “I didn’t see her” the other replied. “My sights were focused elsewhere.”





         “Who caught your attention?”





         “No one, never mind.”





         As she approached the door she heard more of the conversation. She couldn’t quite tell what was being said and put her ear to the door listening. She heard the same voice she had heard when first she came up to the security guard’s post. She heard the passion with which he spoke of this woman he had fallen for upon first glimpse through the crowd in the hallway. She was jealous of this woman, not knowing it was her that he spoke of.





         “Why are you just standing there?” Jimmy asked. “Open the door and go in.”





         Kyra turned and looked at him. “Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” she hissed at him. The look in her eyes told him the story.





         He responded with a look of disbelief when she said that is the man that saved me from a potentially horrible beating and ran off without a word.





         Jimmy put his hand up to grab the door knob but she quickly seized it and pushed him away from the door.





         “Let me hear more first?”





         Then, without pause, she heard the second man say………”So you came to her rescue…..did you?”





         “Yes, I did.”





         “And you ran away without asking her how she was?”





         The first man made no reply but she imagined he had nodded a yes because the other man continued and asked, “Why?”





         “I wanted to… but I couldn’t. She stole the words from my mouth before I could even open it to speak.” He sighed heavily and continued. “She was so beautiful. Being so close to her made me forget myself …………..” The sentence trailed of and he became quiet.





         “Oh! I see.”





         “……..all I wanted to do was hold her in my arms, comfort her and tell her ‘I love you’, yet move I could not, speak I could not, nor could I think……………think of anything other than tasting her lips.” He paused for a moment, looked at the floor in defeat and turned around, reached for the door knob. “Too bad I will not see her again.” he said over his shoulder.





         Just as he said that, the door opens. A kid walks into the room and on his heels, she came trotting.





         He could see her shaking and again the desire to hold her, taste her lips crippled him. He became speechless and rooted to the spot where he stood.





         “Hi guys, I am Jimmy and this is Kyra.” Jimmy held out his hand to Derek, the bassist.





         Derek shook it and replied, “Ouch!” Followed by a laugh, shaking his hand as though he were trying to shake off a bug.





         Matt, the vocalist, stood behind them, leaning on the wall, smiled and closed the door.





         Kyra heard the door shut, jumped, whirled around and gasped in surprise.





         He looked to his left as he leaned over and saw her watching every move, as if he were Julia Child cooking her favorite meal. “She really is nervous…” he thought. “and beautiful.”





         She followed the line of his profile, thinking how she would love to lick every inch of his body. Her eyes met his and she felt heat rising in her cheeks as she asked herself, “Why do I want to cry?”  Then she began to feel strange…………..light-headed then every inch of skin began to tingle. It felt like someone ran feathers all over her body and goose-bumps popped up on her bare arms.





         He saw the goose-bumps on her exposed skin. “Are you cold?” he asked removing his jacket.





         “No” she said, trying not to look at him for fear he would see her thoughts reflected in her eyes. Instead she looked down, avoiding his gaze,  hoping he’d make her look at him but he didn’t.





         He felt an urgent need to touch her arise within him and wanted, all-the-more, to be alone with her… but he knew it was a dangerous proposition.





         “Kyra, do you mind if I show Jimmy around?” Derek said.





         “Huh, What!” she asked. “Oh, no…….no.”





         And with that Derek and Jimmy walked out, leaving them alone.





         Matt opened his mouth to say, “Please have a seat?“… but his voice suddenly abandoned him. Nothing came out and he shut it, speaking with gestures of motion instead.





         Silence passed between them. It was an awkward silence which neither of them cannoned to break. Talk would somehow dispel the feeling she got being this close to him  and her question about earlier events didn’t seem appropriate now, but she asked anyway.





          “Why did you walk off like that?”





         “You looked so beautiful, sitting on the floor… I thought I’d be sick if you spoke. Besides that I couldn’t speak to you because I had no words with which to speak.” he said with great difficulty.





         She looked down and blushed, her face turned bright red.





         He put a hand under her chin and gently lifted her face skyward so that he may look into her eyes. His eyes seemed to hold her gaze until they became as distant as his and the room vanished. She heard nothing and saw nothing but his eyes… Suddenly she wanted to taste his lips. They looked so inviting.





         He must have read her mind because he leaned closer to her…





Knock………….knock!





          Someone knocked on the door and yelled, “Matt… five minutes!”





         She pulled away from him and stood, facing the couch as he stood and walked across the room, grabbed his guitar and walked toward the door. At the last minute he turned walked back toward her and past her, picked up his jacket and slowly walked out.





         As he walked past her the second time, she turned toward him and looked him in the face. Their eyes locked for a moment… Her heart sunk, retreated deeper into that bitterness that had been her protector for years.





         He opened the door and without hesitation disappeared, shutting the door behind him.





         Kyra flopped on the couch in defeat and sighed in disappointment.





         Just then the door knob began to turn and the door squeaked open. She jumped and whirled around to see him standing in the doorway. His face was flushed and he looked absolutely sexy. At that moment, she wanted to rip his clothes off and taste every inch of him. She imagined he tasted of something sweet and very addicting.





         Matt walked into the room and over to the couch. Being six foot tall maybe more, he loomed over her and looked intimidating when she looked up at him. It seemed he disregarded her and leaned over the couch looking for something as he set his guitar down behind the couch.





         She stood walked around the couch to the door when he reached out grabbed her arm pulling her back to him and turning her to face him. He seized her lips, putting a hand on the small of her back as her hand brushed his groin. He seemed to disregard it.





         She turned to the door, the butterflies began to swarm in her stomach and she felt sick as she brushed against him took hold of the knob.





         He reached for the doorknob as well but ended up grabbing her hand instead. A strange sensation rushed through her…





         He caught the faint scent of roses and sensed sexual arousal lingering around her. Gabbed her arm just as she opened the door, pulled her back away from the door. Pulled her to him so that her back was against his chest, he buried his face in the crook of her neck where it met the shoulder, inhaled sharply, reveling in her scent…