Who Do I Think I Am??

This one's about reality.

THE PROMPT: "Several television stations have ‘reality shows” about businesses, is the business/career you have/had "reality show” worthy. Why or why not? What would be the name of the show? If you don't work choose somebody you know and their business/career."

Well hello there, and a fine afternoon to you all. What's good out there? A day off and some relaxation is what, I'll tell you.

What's not good? "Reality" tv. Because we all know it's pretty much the farthest thing from it.

The regulars around this spot know that I'm not a tv watcher. Outside of Bills and Sabres games, and falling asleep at night to Sportscenter on ESPN, I could pretty much do without a television.

But I will admit to copping a few episodes of "The Celebrity Apprentice" on NBC. Why? I don't know. Maybe it's a fetish of seeing people who had/have money reducing themselves in some way. Or the once-famous making a last-ditch effort at salvaging their career. But whatever.

The irony I'm about to put on display is ridiculous. I work for Walgreens, and TCA's show this past week featured the celebs working on a Walgreens campaign. I'm off on Sundays. I didn't watch the episode. It's on the DVR if and when I want to. But I really don't like to be bothered by my work on my day off. I don't mind getting random texts from coworkers on my day off, but really...I can do without my one little bit of tv enjoyment being all about my employer.

What really needs to happen is a camera needs to follow me around while I'm at work, so you fine people who read this tasty slice of internet pie can see what it is I go through when I'm on my pedestal, complaining about some of the shit I have to deal with while I'm getting paid to count nothings. You should see it through my eyes. I'd be the perfect subject. To see me drop what I'm doing and complain would make me the perfect "hero/villian" for all of retail. And when you go back and reread some of the things I've said, you'll have a better understanding of what it is I speak of.

And I'd love for it to be televisioned under the name "Walk With Walgreens", but I can't have that happen. See, that's already been trademarked because it's what the hangers-on on TCA were already working on. So it'd have to be something more along the lines of the "People Of Walmart" or "Best Buy Sucks" websites. I'm still struggling for a name as I type this. Maybe it should just be called "Retail Hell" and do it Tosh.0 style where I enlist other friends in different aspects of retail, and we share different video clips of the nonsense customers pull on a daily basis. Hey Hollywood, you hear me? Let's do this. Stat. Pronto. NOW!! Throw me a stupid amount of money and let's make this the next "reality", because lord knows, it's a hell of a lot more real than "Survivor", "Desperate Teen Moms From Hollywood Housewives Of <insert random city here>" or "Jersey Shore".

On a random sidenote, yesterday I was commissioned to change the posters we hang in our store's lobby. That included taking down the one which featured Donald Trump and it promoted our company's appearance on TCA. As per G-Stamm's idea, I cut out The Donald's head. We're still running an "Employee Of The Month" program, and this current month's winner hasn't had her picture taken for the posterity of the award yet, so I did my part. I hung The Donald there...he truly is the EOTM for Walgreens...who knows how much money he made for the company just because of his stupid "reality" show? The CEO's and shareholders are wiping their asses with hundos now, because they know they're also saving millions in changing the management structure and screwing over a bunch of hard-working employees all around the country. That, my friends, is REALITY.

MUSICAL BREAK!!

I don't even know how to soundtrack this entry. Let me see what comes to mind...here goes...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NisCkxU544c&feature=g-vrec&context=G230d629RVAAAA...

VITAL STATS:

So this whole "Walk With Walgreens" thing on TCA has us offering a free kit when you sign up. It's a cheesy drawstring backpack and a cheap pedometer, similar to the ones they gave employees last year at the same time. Mine last year promptly broke upon opening it. Nice. Anyway, some senior center is telling their clientele that they should come to us to get their free kit, and that's it, no questions asked. Bullshit. You have to register and provide an email address. No company is gonna give you anything for free. It's all about how they can market everything else they do. So you'll get emails. I made the mistake of signing up for something once that the company offered, and now one of the reasons I keep my phone deliberately set on "silent" is that I get emails from Walgreens on my phone at all hours of the night. I don't need them to email me the weekly ad at 1am Sunday morning. I get it. Shit's on sale. You want me to but it. But don't catch me as I'm falling asllep. Jerks.

And I'm fully convinced that the people in this community only want something if it's free. Cheap pedometer and chincy backpack? All yours, WNY. Just because the box has weird picks of famous has-beens on it. Have at it. I could take a dump in a bunch of boxes and stamp "FREE!" on them, and I'm convinced those boxes would sell out in just a few hours. Nobody cares about what's in them, as long as they're free. Such a waste of resources, all in the name of advertising.

Alright, now that I'm done bitching, I'm gonna go back to the rest of the "otherwise doing nothing" portion of my day off. Thanks for playin'. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzclm3UgVss&feature=related