In the Darkness

Welcome Home

Was it weird that her hands should be shaking so? She almost felt a sob rise in her throat as she passed the "Welcome to Foxwillow Springs" sign. The fear that had consumed her for more than ten years began to almost overwhelm her and she felt so ashamed. She pulled over to the side of the road and took a deep breath. She was committed to this and she was not going to turn around. She was tired of being chicken.

Running her hands over her face, Ellie looked in the mirror behind the visor and sighed. She was a mess. Her dark brown hair was in disarray and her brown eyes looked huge and dark. Making a noise of frustration, she hit the steering wheel and shoved up the visor. She was doing this. She was. She'd already had this conversation with herself before she left the city. She shouldn't need to do this again. She'd been fine until she saw the stupid sign. It was like she was feeling everything for the first time.

She wished she had someone waiting for her in Foxwillow, but she didn't. Both of her parents were dead and she was the only child. She didn't think any of her friends from school would appreciate her much. She'd withdrawn so badly that she'd become a totally different person and then as soon as graduation happened, she'd booked it so fast out of Foxwillow Springs, she was sure no one realized she was gone until a week after.

Wondering that if maybe she had someone in town waiting for her, it would be easier. Sighing again, she closed her eyes. Yeah right. It would've been harder because of their looks, the things left unsaid, their niceness. Groaning, she pulled the car back onto the road and even sped up slightly. Yeah, she could definitely deal with not having to look forward to that.

When the town came into view, she let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. It was still as beautiful as she remembered. Maybe even more so, now that she was old enough to appreciate it. The center of town had been kept immaculate, which was such a nice change from the city where trash lingered everywhere. There was a gazebo with a nice manicured lawn that surrounded it, flowers and flowering shrubs had been planted all around it and two lamp posts stood on either side of it. It hadn't changed much, except that maybe more flowers had been added and a fresh coat of paint.

After that, the road went right through the center, with businesses on either end that lasted for four blocks, before you came across the elementary, middle and high schools. Shortly after the schools, was a motel that was often packed during the summer months. With festivals, including a bunch of water games with the lake, people often hounded from other neighboring towns and family came in from out-of-town, to stay. Since it was October, she was sure she was probably one of the, if not the, only people staying at the motel.

Checking in had been quick and she went to her room, and took a shower; the hot water felt nice against her icy skin. After putting all of her clothes into the dresser, she got ready and headed for the cemetery. She hadn't gone to their funeral; she had still been very afraid. It had been just over a year since she'd left when she'd gotten word that her parents had died in a house fire. She'd found out the furnace had shorted out and their house, the one she'd grown up in and the one her grandfather had built, had burned to the ground with her parents inside it.

Even still, she never came back. She had been so afraid. The funny part of it was, she couldn't exactly remember what she was afraid of, and that frightened her even more. It had taken her until last week, to decide she had to fight this or she was never going to have a life. She was tired of jumping at noises and the nightmares. They were so vague and confusing, she wasn't even sure what they were about anymore, but they frightened her still.

Even now, she couldn't explain what scared her. She knew she had to figure out what it was.

The Foxwillow Springs Cemetery was located on the very edge of town, with a very pretty and manicured lawn. You'd almost be fooled into thinking it was a park until you got right up to it. The property stretched almost twenty acres, almost four of it was used already. Her parents were located about half way in, nearly in the middle and underneath a weeping willow tree. She figured during the spring and summer months, this would be a pretty spot, but right now it looked drab and uneasy. The long naked branches blew gently in the soft breeze and it made her shiver.

She squatted down in front of the single headstone, wondering who must've paid for it.

Brosney
Keith 1952 - 2002 Abigail 1959 - 2002

Forever you will be loved and missed.

Her vision blurred as she read it and reached out to touch it with her hand. "I'm so sorry." It was just above a whisper, but it was all she could manage. The emotion overwhelmed her as she realized how much she missed her parents and how they must've worried about her. She had been in such a rush to get out of Foxwillow that she hadn't thought about them or anyone else. She had thought she was protecting them while protecting herself, her sanity. They never knew what happened. She remembered numerous times her father asking what was wrong. He'd even gone as far as to ask if she'd been raped. Raped by her boyfriend at the time, Derek. The horror she had felt at the accusation and her answer had been a definite no. At the time she'd been so frustrated with his pestering. Just leave me alone! had all she'd said to him. Now, she felt ashamed and understood. She hated that it was too late to change anything. Her pathetic attempt at an apology would have to do.

When she gathered herself up and forced herself to leave the cemetery, she headed into town. She needed food. She hadn't realized how hungry she was until after she'd gotten back into her car. Almost deciding against going into an eatery, she quickly decided to eat at Long John's Diner. She didn't have a stove at the motel, just a microwave and she was in the mood for some real food.

Long John's was still a popular place to hang out as it had been when she was in high school. She wondered if anyone would notice her. She had changed a lot since she was last here. She'd grown and filled out. Her hair was much longer and it had a soft curl to it, her mouth had filled out and her face had slightly elongated. She was five foot six now, being five foot three when she'd last been here, and there were more curves to her hips and breasts. She had been a late bloomer in that department.

The Ellie she was now was a different Ellie than she was then. Even in her face, she thought she looked older than she was. Definitely a lot older than she used to, like she'd seen everything there was. Though there wasn't any wisdom in her eyes, just that the world wasn't as wonderful as one would hope.

Finding herself a table, she began to look over the menu. Everything was the same, except maybe the prices were a little different. She browsed over her menu and sighed, wondering what she was craving for, when a shadow fell over her. Thinking it was her waitress, she looked up prepared to order herself a coke with light ice when all thoughts ceased. Derek.

She couldn't believe her eyes. Of all places! She'd only been in town just a few hours and already she was faced to deal with her demons. At first, she didn't believe she was strong enough for this. If she couldn't handle Derek, how would she handle the rest? How could she?

"You're not going to say hello?" There was such a distaste, bordering on disgust, in his words.

Swallowing and trying to moisten her tongue so she could speak, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Hi Derek."

Did he hear her? Her voice sounded like a whisper. Could he hear her heart thundering in her chest? What would she say to him? What could she say to him? What would ease his pain and not cause more for her? Oh god, she'd hoped for more time. That she'd be able to think about what she wanted to say to him, if perchance, he still lived here. Of course he was. Like her life would ever be so easy.

"What brings you buy?" He slid into the booth across from her and tried to come off as pleasant.

"What do you want, Derek?" She licked her lips and looked down at her hands. They were shaking. She didn't know if she could do this.

"You answer my question and I'll answer yours." His eyes bore into her, she could feel his gaze as she focused on her shaking hands.

"You wouldn't understand, Derek. No one could possibly understand." It was the whole reason she left. It was a small town, everyone poked their nose into others' business. Everyone would begin to ask questions and want to know what happened.

"Ellie..." There was pain in his voice, pain that she'd put there. She hadn't said a word to him when she left. It had hurt so much to leave him, that she felt she would've backed off.

Ellie looked up at him, afraid of the pain she knew she'd see in his eyes. It was there, his honey brown eyes shone brightly, but with a sadness so strong it could've taken her breath. "Can you come back to my room? I...I don't want to talk about it here."

She wondered what he'd say. She figured he'd say no, but instead he nodded solemnly. They both got up, any thoughts of eating fled her mind. She wasn't hungry anymore. Ellie knew what she had to do now and that was talk about something she'd only recently started to think about again and with someone she had loved far more than she'd loved anyone else.