Hidden Magic

Loss

About an hour after Lorraine and Shane had left from their ever-so-pleasant-visit Mum came through the front door. The nice, glowing warm weather had stopped, replaced by a depressing thick fog and a shower of unwanted rain. Mum put the dripping umbrella on the small, oak table they kept beside their door to dump random stuff on. She stood silent for a moment. Her back was to Rosie for a few suspenseful seconds until her shoulders started to softly shake and she sank down to the floor. Rosie watched in horror as her mother broke down then and there, clutching the floor desperately. As if that would bring back what they’d lost.


Amy was dead.


It would never be the same again.


Dead.


Rosie stood there, frozen at the top of the stairs. She listened to her mum’s grief ridden sobs and accepted the reality of what had just happened. She would never see her sister again. Ever. When the shock sunk in it took life and strength from her legs, making her collapse to the top step of their family stairs. She stayed sitting there, numb and paralysed until she finally mustered up both the emotional and physical strength to go to her mum’s side.


Mum put a trembling arm around her. Rosie knew she was trying to comfort her, but it wasn’t working. “Everything will be...” her voice cracked and wavered. It took her a few moments for her to breathe and speak again. “Everything will be okay, honey. I love you so much.”


Even though she nodded, Rosie knew nothing could ever be the same again. Okay even. Nothing.


Not for either one of them.


Things were about to change. Big time.





“Oh, Amy,” Rosie said to the precious picture she held in her shaking hands. “Why did you have to leave me too?” For the first time after the news of her sister’s death tears fell from her eyes. A few drops landed on the picture in her hands. The picture of two happily smiling sisters. Rosie with her arm around Amy, both grinning with a full set of teeth. This picture had been taken before everything had blown up. Before Amy had changed into the antisocial Grinch she had been for the last few months.


She suddenly remembered the loud and tragic phone call going on downstairs. The phone call mum was making to her dad. The selfish and cowardly dad she hadn’t seen or spoken to it about three months now. But no matter what her dad had done to their family, she couldn’t cope a moment longer without hearing his familiar voice. It would probably make her feel more upset and depressed, but she had to hear him. Forgive him for just five minutes. Love him again and pretend that he was there for her. She had to escape the ugly truth for just five minutes.


Rosie hugged the picture securely to her chest and left her bedroom. When she stepped through the door into the kitchen mum was sitting at the breakfast table. The phone glued to her ear as she cried heavily. She noticed on the table lay Amy’s school picture from last year. Amy’s face looked young and make-up free. Her light chestnut hair looked cute in long, platted pig tails. Tears stung at Rosie’s eyes again.


“Mum,” she whispered. She tried frantically to fight back her threatening tears for her mother’s sake. “Can I talk to daddy please?”


Mum looked up and smiled brokenly. “Of course you can, honey.” Mum turned and talked into the phone, “I’ve got to go for a minute, Michael. Your daughter, Rosie, wants to talk to you.” There was slight venom and strength in her mum’s voice that she wasn’t used to. But it made her proud.


Mum got up and handed the wireless phone to Rosie. Then she quietly left the room, leaving her alone in the big kitchen.


She took a deep, steadying breath before bringing the phone to her ear. “Dad?”


“Rosie, sweetie. I am very sorry for your loss.” Rosie noticed her father’s voice was breaking as he spoke on the line. His breathing sounded like he might be crying. Her dad never cried. He reminded her more of one of those tough business types. Cold as steel. Hard as rock.


“It’s your loss too,” she corrected immediately. “Daddy, I miss you... Come to Lakeside...please, Daddy.” Her hand shook and she had to try really hard not to drop the phone onto the kitchen floor. She lowered herself into one of the kitchen chairs and placed the photo down beside her. Her voice wavered as she spoke, “I can’t do this anymore. I... Daddy please,” she begged, verging on hysteria.


“I can’t right now, sweetie,” he said. “I wish with all my heart I could be there with you.”


Rosie sighed. She hated herself for thinking, even for one tiny second that her dad might actually come through for her. Be there for her when she most needed him. So desperately needed him.


It struck her he wasn’t at home when she heard the sound of an American weather forecast in the background. “Where are you?”


“New York,” he answered calmly. “Very important business trip.”


“Oh...” She knew who lived in New York. “Is... Is Nina there?”


“Nina...” Dad paused for a few seconds as if he was trying to remember who she was talking about. “Oh, Nina,” he said and she could almost see the shrug that followed. “We split up a month or two ago.”


Typical.


Blind and raging anger burned inside her. “So you and mum split up for nothing? Nothing. A stupid fling?” Rosie spat into the phone. “You literally make me sick, dad. You honestly do.” She had to force her hand to unclench before the pressure snapped the phone. “You’re supposed to be here. With me, with mum.”


“Sweetie, I...”


She cut him off mid-sentence.


“And who knows, maybe this would have never happened to Amy if you hadn’t been such a selfish, disgusting disgrace of a human being, of a husband, of a f***ing father...of a human being. You’re sick. Pure sick.”


“That is not fair, Rosie,” dad said. “You can’t blame this all on me.”


“Can’t I?” She was pretty certain this was where she was going to point her finger of blame. Not on Amber, she didn’t deserve to be blamed...at least not fully. Not even Lorraine. Her dad was the guilty one. The monster.


“No.” Dad’s voice sounded stern and hurt. “I am your father, and you will not speak to me like that ever again.”


“You’re no father of mine.”


“Rosie, don’t you dare say those untrue words. You’re just angry and scared.”


She shook her head and chuckled. It wasn’t out of humour, it was pure sarcasm. “Well, dad, I have a giant shock for you. I hate you!” The words erupted from Rosie and she had no doubt of their meaning. In this moment she felt nothing but pure hate for this man. This treacherous man.


“Rosie...sweetie.” His voice sounded pained. “You don’t mean that. I love you. I always will.”


She didn’t say anything. She just sat there with the phone pinned to her ear. Her eyes watered this time not from sad tears, but from happy ones. From hearing the three words she hadn’t heard her dad say once since she was only a little girl.


“I really do, Rosie. You’re my beautiful, strong daughter. And so was Amy, and I can’t tell you how much I wish I’d gotten the chance to tell her how much she meant to me. How sorry I am and how I’ll treasure the memories I have of her. Of our family. I’m sorry for what I did to our family. I know it’s my fault and you have every right to hate me.” Dad inhaled a deep, unsteady breath that rattled the phone slightly. “I’m going to go now. I’m going to let you and your mother deal with this without me, because I know you’ll get through it. A whole lot better than if I were there with you. Trust me, sweetie. I’m not any use. I’m only trouble. Cold, selfish trouble.”


“No, daddy...”


“You’re better off without me,” was all he said before he hung up and the phone line went dead.


Rosie sighed and slammed the house phone down on the kitchen table. What had I been expecting, a big family reunion? She furiously picked the phone up and banged it in the holder. How naive she had been to think that he might just care...care inkling more about her than taking the easy option out for himself. She shook her head relentlessly. Of course he was never going to care. It took Amy to die for him to even tell me he loves me. And even then he still takes himself out of my life.


She sighed again, thinking there was no point dwelling on the issue. It would only make things worse for herself and her poor mum if she put up any kind of rampage or protest. No, I have to be sensible. I have to look after myself and my mum.


She knew just how to do it too.


She pulled her black, touch screen mobile phone from the pocket of her dark blue skinny jeans. She saw she had five text messages flashing in her inbox.


Two were irrelevant ones from mum:


I’m on my way, Hun. Xx


I hope you’re okay at the house by yourself. Stay strong. I love you! Xxx


Rosie deleted the messages. They didn’t hold any importance now, and she didn’t like to think that only a few short hours ago there had still been hope for Amy. Hope that she was still alive somewhere. She didn’t want to think that her last words to Amy had been yelled at her.


She froze at the next three new messages. They were all from Amber; her friend and foe. She opened the first one with trembling fingers. It had been received this morning at about eight, fifty am:


Hey! Where are you? You were supposed to meet me at the gates. Mr Johnson is officially hating the new girl, just saying. ;)


Rosie deleted the message and scrolled down to the other two messages. These were more recent and relevant:


Rosie, I didn’t mean it. I’m so sorry. Please don’t be mad or do anything stupid. X


Shane just texted me, apparently my mum’s on her way. He told me what happened. I’m really sorry about her. Please just ignore her. I swear she’s like, crazy or something.


Rosie glanced up at the sound of her mum walking through the kitchen door.


“Hi, honey,” mum said, still tear streaked and red-eyed. “Is it okay with you if I go upstairs and nap for a while?”


She smiled gently at her mum. She’d never seen her looking quite so fragile. She had been devastated when dad had left, but this was something different. Much less easy to heal. It shattered Rosie’s heart. Losing your husband to another woman, especially by the likes of Nina, a slapper who liked to make her way in the business by sleeping with all her bosses and your youngest daughter in just a few months had to be world shattering. Rosie felt it herself and she only managed to keep it together due to something else to focus on. The mystery with Amber and her family. Answers she must find. After that she didn’t know what she would do. She would probably be in the same boat as her mum, on the verge of tipping over the edge of grief.


“Sure,” she said. “I’ll be fine.”


Mum smiled and kissed the top of her head before heading upstairs.


Rosie looked back down at her phone. She wondered whether she should text Amber back or call her. Both seemed like a really bad idea. Lorraine had seemed very pissed and even Shane didn’t want them to hang out anymore. And he was a friendly puppy next to Lorraine. But she still felt suspicious about that family and knew they were keeping something from her. Something important. She yearned for answers that she knew were going to be dangerous to find. But she needed them, for closure if anything, no matter what kind of deadly horror she had to face.


Despite all the warnings from Shane and Lorraine, her better sense and the tight, constant pain in her stomach and head whenever she dared to think about them, she pressed the call button on her phone.


Amber picked up on the first ring. “Hi, Rosie,” she said, sounding not at all surprised to be hearing from her.


“Hey,” she said and fought to sound normal. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”


“Wait a sec.” Amber’s voice turned urgent and cautious. Rosie heard a door close and Amber shuffle around nosily on the line. “Okay, what’s up? Did you get my texts? Because I really am sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have...”


Rosie cut her off. “Actually, I’d rather do this face to face.”


“I don’t think that’s such a great idea,” Amber said seriously. “I’m sorry about today with my mum too, coming over and demanding answers from you that must have seemed so bizarre. It’s a good job Shane made Lorraine take him with her.”


She blinked in surprise. Shane had made Lorraine take him with her? To what, protect me? “Shane did? Why?”


“Yes, he did,” Amber confirmed. “I don’t know why, but Rosie, if you immediately need to ask me something, can you ask me now please? And fast?”


Rosie frowned with confusion. “Why? Where are you and what’s going on?”


“Nothing,” Amber said quickly. Too quickly. “Spit it out already, Ro. I don’t have much time.”


“Okay,” she said and rolled her eyes. Amber couldn’t see her, but it seemed like a natural thing to do when talking to her. She could really rub Rosie up the wrong way sometimes. “Amy’s dead.”


Amber stayed silent for so long, Rosie thought she had actually hung up on her. But when she checked her phone it reported the call was ongoing.


She was about to ask if she was still there when Amber suddenly said, “Oh, I’m sorry, Ro.”


“Well, you’d know the feeling, right?”


“Yeah.” Amber’s voice sounded understanding and... Something else that she couldn’t put her finger on.


“That’s kind of why I want you to come over. I really need a friend who can relate to me.” She sighed into the phone. “My mum’s a mess.”


“Okay. I’ll see you in about an hour. I’ll try and get out, but no promises.” Amber didn’t sound particularly convinced or happy about it, but she had decided to come along anyway. That made the corners of Rosie’s mouth turn up a little...just a little.


“Perfect. Thank you.” She hung up.


She felt bad about doing this, especially since she’d only just found out about Amy’s death. But after today, the weirdness of the day, the strange feelings in her stomach and head and the lack of any kind of trust, she couldn’t wait another day. Rosie knew that Amber and her family were linked to Amy’s death somehow, even if she couldn’t exactly identify it. Amy would want me to find out, right?


She didn’t really need to ask herself that question. She knew what Amy would want and Rosie was going to find out if it killed her.