My Musings, not always daily

Friday with prompt

"Are you afraid of Death?"





This is such an open ended question to me. Are you asking about the moment of death? Possibly the time leading up to it? or just the thought of dying?





Let me address the questions that I asked. No I am not afraid to die. My attitude is the same as it would be for me to step into a hot air balloon. I am afraid of heights and feeling not in control of my surroundings. Others aren't and do it all the time. There is the moment that we let go of the familiar and safety to experience the exciting and foreign. Fear is the problem.


For me, the choice of living this life of ups and down,and uncertainties, is not as desirable as spending eternity with the Almighty God. If I were given a choice I would go to heaven in a New York minute. Those I leave behind will miss me, but they too will have that opportunity to join me, the choice is theirs. I have confidence in my future.


I AM afraid of the life leading up to that moment. I desperately hope I never have Alzheimer's. I don't want cancer that becomes painful. I have the human desire to just go quietly in my sleep. It is the dealing with pain along with the knowledge that it is causing others pain, that I don't want. This is earth and is filled with all kinds of infirmities, pestilence and tragedies. We are not in control of them, it is called life and we must endure to the end. I have no secret to a life that is perfect. I do have the answer to having a life that I know what the end will be; and anything in between will be up to God. As long as I keep my hand in His, he will guide me through what ever comes my way.


Two years ago in Jan my father was diagnosed with esophageal cancer. After all the treatment, in June, the doctor gave him 3-6 months to live. He was going down hill. In July, the Lord healed him and we didn't know it until he began eating everything he wanted to and had no pain. In December the doctor finally ordered a scan and there was only a small scar tissue left where the cancer was. I was worried for my dad, the pain he was having and the worry he had about my mother. God gave him a promise and held on to it until he was healed. I am not afraid to die or of death.





I am sitting here writing this with tears of joy in my eyes. I love my life, I feel concern about the future but I love of the words of a song, "Just think of stepping on shore and finding it heaven, of touching a hand and finding it Gods, of breathing new air and finding it celestial, of waking up in glory and finding it HOME.