Unrepresented

Unrepresented

         linespace:2.0}                                                                                                                                      Chapter One


                                                                             
































Recognizing and Taking the First Step:








Let’s face it exes are exes for a reason.  Most of us will go our separate ways when we no longer see eye-to-eye with one another.  Here’s the kicker, when a person separates or divorces the ex will still remain (kind of like a battle wound), and the problems can continue.  In most cases these situations only become more intense. This is common for couples that have children together and end their relationship; the result is court.


    This book was written for several reasons, the biggest, to let you know you are not alone. There are many people searching for ways to put issues with an ex behind them so they can move on, without breaking the bank. I learned the process of representing myself on my own. For many years, it was one battle after the other, with not just one ex, but three exes and mistakes along the way.  People do learn from their mistakes, and the best way to defend ourselves from history repeating itself is to not make the same mistakes twice.  For those of you dealing with court and an ex, reading the chapters that pertain to the chapters you are going through in your lives right now, can help you avoid making the same mistakes I have and present any court case dealing with an ex in confidence.  For most people the constant struggles that one faces daily with a job, bills, and family is enough to deal with, let alone adding an ex into the equation.


    Whether you were married to your ex, had children with them, or your financial situation won’t allow you to hire representation, this book can help from the beginning at the point where you realize you need to go to court-to presenting your case in front of a judge.  The book was designed to help whether you are dealing with one or ten exes, as many times as you need to prepare and appear in court.


There are millions of split families and relationships. Life is not all white picket fences and roses for the majority of us. The reality is that most people either have an ex or know someone who does.  If we dig a little deeper we’d probably find that behind closed doors many of those who have ended a relationship are also dealing with constant battles and disagreements with an ex.


    If there are children involved, we are bound to these exes by law.  Exes can raise issues throughout your child’s entire youth that’s eighteen to twenty-one year’s people!





    Reading this book will give you the upper hand to not only defend yourself in court against an ex, but learn how to deal with them outside of court as well.  So let them bring it on! 





    Even if you and your ex get along and communicate well, you may still need to go into court and make things legal at some point.  One of the many reasons court may still be necessary is to state on court record that the minor child is both you and your ex’s biological child, which requires both parents in court.


Many times it’s both parents’ intentions to remain friends with each other or to be civilized because of the child between them, but then a new boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse comes into the picture and all hell breaks loose! There are other reasons why the relationship with an ex can go sour, but because I wanted to cover the most important topics here, I’ll spare you. Although, not every issue dealing with an ex is listed in the book, forty of the most common issues have been provided.


    I wish you the best of luck through every dilemma you may encounter with your ex and the court process.  My hope is that “Unrepresented” saves you and your family time, stress, and money.





Why a person may need to file for a court date:


In case you find yourself questioning whether court is really necessary, here are some common reasons why a person may need to file for a court date:





Have constant arguments with an ex that never get resolved and only escalate?


Have an ex who tries to run each situation and acts as if they are more superior?


Have an ex who tries to sabotage you or your spouse’s relationship with your child?


Have an ex who withholds your parenting time because of child support or because they are upset with you?


Have an ex who pays support part of the time?


Have an ex who refuses to pay child support?


Have an ex who threatens you, your family, or friends?


Need a divorce with or without children involved?


Need an ex removed from your home?


Need child support, custody, or paternity established?


Need personal belongings returned?


Have an ex who has kicked you out of your home?


Have an ex violating a previous court order?


Need to dismiss an attorney from your case?


Have an ex that you suspect is abusing or neglecting your child?                                                                      


Have an ex who is assisting your child with resisting visits?


Need to file for a support modification?


Have an ex who causes problems with your spouse or friend?


Have an ex who is harassing you on the phone or in person?


Have an ex who is unstable moving your child around too much?


Have an ex who is using drugs or alcohol while in the presence of your child?


Have an ex who has withheld important information from the courts such as income, child care


cost, a move, etc?


Have an ex who tries to control your child while the child visits you?





    The reality is that no matter how many issues and exes are involved the matter at hand is going to be stressful on not only you but your family as well.  Stop all the arguments, even if you feel you have every reason to defend yourself and just want to give that ex a piece of your mind.


    Your ex may be threatening that they’ve hired the best attorney money can buy.  Don’t let that intimidate you, because the law is still the law.  Maybe they have found the best attorney available to them; this shouldn’t affect you in the slightest.  As long as you’ve done nothing against the law and you know your ex is in the wrong and you can bring some sort of proof into court with you.  Example, your ex has violated a previous court order withholding your child’s visits; you want your visits to resume, however, your ex has informed you that they’ve hired a great attorney that’ll make sure you never get your visits back.  You know you are a safe parent; your ex is just making things up as they go because they’re mad at you over your new relationship, stand your ground in court-it’s a violation of your parental rights to be refused visitation.  The ex should be held in contempt of court for breaking the previous court order.  Be sure there is no proof that an ex can bring forward in court, like that you are unfit in any way, and not just hear-say.  With no proof against you, not even an attorney can change the judge’s mind-that’s why we have laws in place.  Let your ex get fired up, but don’t stoop to their level-just take them to court.


    Most civil cases can be handled by the person who is need of the court date.  Attorneys do their best work in criminal cases.  A civil case is when two parties explain to a judge what they’d like to see happen in their case-where no one is facing jail.  Sometimes, even in a civil case someone may be facing a jail sentence due to failure to pay child support or for child abuse. If the person being accused is innocent then there is hope for the case. The accused may consider hiring representation.  If you are behind on child support, there are still some tips in this that can help you.  You’ll still need to build a case even if you are facing jail.  The courts will need to hear your side so be ready.  You should find the section in this book that covers the topic you need and go into court well prepared, after all, if you would be sentenced-it won’t be forever and your child support will continue to add up on you.  Why not know what the law says you can deduct or are entitled to and know what your state guidelines can offer you?


    By no means should you ever go into court with a chip on your shoulder or a banjo on your knee! You may know you are entitled to something, but you still need to remain polite to all parties involved and concentrate on your proof to present your case well.  The judge will go by the law, however, it’s not recommended to carry on in a rude fashion, because things could turn around in your case, so just be polite.





Where do I start?





    The first question most people ask is where do I start?  Although, I do not know the exact reason you are reading this book I can walk you from start to end.  Most of the more common forms that are generally filed in civil court are small claims, divorce, child support, paternity, and custody cases.  If you cannot locate answers to all of your questions in this chapter, you can always skim through the book and see if you can find the exact topic you are looking for.


    First, know why you are in need of a court date.  Next, you should make notes on a piece of paper or journal information that pertains to your case. These notes should contain your ex’s, complete name, address, employers name and address, and any contact numbers for them such as, a friend’s home they may frequent and a relative’s phone number.  The reason for this is, when you file in court on someone, the courts will require the correct contact information, in case they need to mail the person documents or make direct contact with them.  Having this information at your fingertips will save you steps later.  The same is true if the courts tell you you’ll be the one responsible for mailing your ex any court documents.





Should I dismiss my attorney?


    Now, is a good time to dismiss that attorney, if that is your intention?  Be aware that dismissing an attorney in the middle of your case can put the case on hold; however, this should take no more than fifteen days maximum.  Check with the clerk in the county where you file to get an exact time in which an attorney has to withdraw from your case through the courts.  The time frame will differ from state to state and should not cause any damage to your case.


    Maybe it’s that your attorney is charging you too much or dragging the court dates out which in turn is raising their fees, or they are not doing an adequate job on your case.  If it’s your intention to dismiss this attorney, start by writing them a brief, polite letter of explanation asking them to withdraw.  If you wish to explain yourself, you could mention that due to your current financial status you can no longer afford their representation.  The courts, depending on what state you are filing in will generally require that this letter of explanation be followed through. Some states will ask that you send or file the letter through the courts, while others require that you send the letter to the attorney you want to dismiss.  Either way, make a copy of this letter as proof for your records, just in case the attorney does not withdraw in a timely manner.  You can ask them by phone or in person when they expect to withdraw.  The attorney should withdraw through the courts in a timely fashion.  You are also entitled to a copy of your file and in most cases it should be free.





    If you do not have an attorney representing you, or your attorney has withdrawn, you should be able to get the ball rolling.  In most states if an attorney has not withdrawn, the courts will not let you proceed with the case on your own until this step is complete.  In my state the courts will not allow a person who is represented to write their judges.





Paternity:


    Do you have a child and someone is seeking the paternity of them, or are you the one seeking paternity of a child you believe to be yours?  Are you seeking paternity for child support and or custody?  There are a few things I want to clarify as far as custody goes; if you are the one who resides with your child, you are the Custodial Parent and there is reasonable representation that you can obtain for support and paternity related cases only. This representation cost less than fifty dollars and is a one-time fee. This is not like hiring a regular attorney, these attorneys are called Prosecuting Attorneys, and they work for the state, under child support offices. 





    The next section covers a bit about child support agencies.  Let’s say you are the Custodial Parent and you are seeking paternity, because you know that this is the only way to get child support ordered and custody established.  The most economical way for you to start is through a child support enforcement agency.  There are web-sites listed at the back of this book to help you locate any of the agencies available.  These web-sites offer phone numbers, addresses, and some self-help forms.  Look up the child support agency in the town where your child resides, and get the phone number so you can call ahead and schedule an appointment with one of their representative’s.  These agencies are an excellent resource for anyone seeking child support, and or paternity.  They will assist in many ways and won’t cost as much as hiring an independent attorney.


    If you are the Non-Custodial Parent, meaning,  your child does not reside with you and you have received a summons of some sort from a child support office or the courts, do not miss your appointment, reschedule if need be, but do not disregard the summons. 


If you need help building a case after paternity is established or would like to know what will take place on the day of testing, refer to chapter seven on paternity.





Divorce:


    Are you seeking a divorce with no previous court case? There is an all-states courthouse web-site listed in the back of the book that you can refer to. Find the courthouse in the county that issued your marriage license and give them a call to verify any filing fees, waiting periods, and hours of operation, and whether the divorce packet is located via-internet or through their office.


    Even when there’s no marriage involved there can still be many issues left to resolve such as, property that needs divided, paternity, custody, child support, and visitation, etc.  Start by locating the courthouse where you and your ex last resided together or where your children (if you have children with this particular ex), resided at the time of separation.  Use the all-states courthouse web-site resource for any contact information.  If you do have a child with your ex and need child support, custody, or visitation resolved and have never had paternity established-your case will be put on hold until this step is complete.  You will need to either go on court record to state the child named X is your biological child, or have legal paternity test performed.  For more info on paternity refer to the chapter on paternity.


    If there are no children involved but you have property, bills, or loans that need divided or settled, locate the courthouse in the same county where you and your ex resided at the time of separation and contact the clerk’s office.  Explain what it is you are in need of; ask if this case will need to be filed in a small claims or circuit court.  You may want to ask if there are fees involved with filing as well.  Perhaps, your case will be considered a small claims suit, thus, you will need to know what amount the courts will allow you to claim.  For example,  KATE needs her property returned by JOE her ex-boyfriend; her property is worth five thousand dollars (this is the maximum the courts in her county allow anyone to sue someone over), so she can file a claim against her ex.





An ex that violates a court order:


    When an ex violates a previous court order, meaning there is a court order already in place with the ex, you can summons them into court; this is often referred to as Contempt of Court.  If you do choose to file contempt, make sure to write down the old case or cause number located at the upper right hand corner of the order, and take that number with you when you file, along with your ex’s current and complete contact information.  The reason for using the case number is simple, the courts will most likely keep that case number on your file for any references that deal with you and your ex on any case either of you file.  This case number will also show the courts that the new issue pertains to the old case, or deals with the same people in that case.





Court forms:


    If you need to obtain proof that your ex is in contempt, you may choose to subpoena documents or a person into court and use that old case number again.                                                                                             


    You may need to file a Rule to Show Cause, where you and the other party in the case will present the courts with any questions, concerns, and proof. You can file for a hearing and ask the courts to grant you more time on a case that’s already been heard-if you have more to add to it.


    There is a form that can be filed called a Motion to Correct Errors, which does exactly what its name says it does, it corrects errors made by the courts.  For more information on any of these forms refer to the specific chapter on the topic you need.


    Since most states label their forms differently, I will not be able to name each specific form; however, these chapters can help at least point you in the right direction.  One state may call an order to prevent someone from coming into contact with you a No Contact Order, while another state may label the form as a Restraining Order, or Protective Order.


      Most forms are fairly easy to file and generally don’t cost much if anything.  Always be sure to check with the clerk’s office at the courthouse you file in for any cost that may be involved first, so there are no surprises later. 


      The courts will usually inform you if you’ll need to make any copies of the forms you file; however, I’m going to tell you now to make at least three copies of each. Many courts are informing people who are filing to go elsewhere to make their copies, then bring them back in to have them stamped and filed. By making people go elsewhere for copies the courts can cut back on expenses and mailing fees.


      Don’t be surprised if the court’s representative tells you to supply them with a self-addressed, stamped envelope, and an addressed envelope with the other parties address on it. They’ll probably remind you to stamp the forms as well. This can be done by either a stamp machine generally located in the clerk’s office by the person filing, or by the clerk. Not all courts allow people to stamp their own paperwork, and some will do it for you.


Subpoenas:


    Once you’ve decided to file a subpoena on a business or person, gather all their contact information; correct and current names and addresses for their residence, work, etc.


    The main reason for filing a subpoena is to bring proof to the courts of some sort such as, income verification, health insurance verification, day care fees, or to use a witness to testify on your behalf in court. You may elect to file a subpoena, because you refuse to just take the other parties word that they pay x amount of dollars to a child care provider weekly, or that they make x amount of dollars through their employer a week.  Remember, just because your ex brings an attorney into court on their behalf, and the attorney rattles off amounts to the judge, doesn’t mean that they have provided the correct amounts.  People hire attorneys to speak on their behalf and these attorneys do not set out to check on their clients to see if they are telling the truth.  I’m not saying that the attorney will lie in vein, I am saying an ex can lie to an attorney, and the attorney is simply going to convey to the courts what their client wants them to say.  Take this step if you choose, although, you can go off the word of your ex or their attorney.


      Filing a subpoena generally takes fifteen minutes once you arrive at the courthouse and if you have all the information you’ll need readily available. These forms are usually free of charge. You can subpoena as many people or business’s as you need and do it as many times as you’d like.


      Use caution when subpoenaing certain people such as, doctors, nurses, lawyers, and therapist, etc., because they may charge you their normal hourly rate.  Call ahead and ask them to be sure.  Include zip codes, and any case number from a previous court order pertaining to the ex you’re filing against now on the subpoena.  You should also know the date of your next court hearing with this ex, so you’ll know what date to place on the subpoena to be returned to you by (well before the next court hearing).  There is also an area provided on the subpoena for you to fill in what you want them to provide you such as; wage verification, start or end employment dates, tax info, etc.  When subpoenaing be specific on what you would like the party to provide for you and what time and date you need them to appear (if you are subpoenaing them into court) same goes for any documentation you need sent to you. For example, Joe needs the correct health care amount Kate pays directly out of her paycheck for their child.  He doesn’t believe the amounts she provided at the last court date were true.  If he can prove to the courts that she falsified the information, he may be entitled to a credit on his child support for any overpayments.  He believes she included her own health care cost in the total amount given.  He writes down her employers address and phone number, her personal contact information, and the cause number off the last court order.  He explains on the subpoena that he wants Kate’s employer to break down the health care amounts, by providing him with the most current amounts paid by her for the child named X. 


      Next, Joe files for a support modification and sets a court date two months out. He makes three copies and has the courts stamp and files them.  He needed this court date before finishing the subpoena, because he had to place that date on the form.  He decides to give the employer one month to return the completed document at his home address. He called the courthouse ahead of time and was informed that he would need to make his own copies of anything he wanted to file.  He was also told he would need to supply the courthouse with a self-addressed, stamped envelope so they could mail him a copy of the new court date, even though he jotted the date down, that’s just the way many courts work.  He finished filling out the subpoena and went to his local library, where he made two more copies of the forms; one for Kate’s employer, one for himself, and the original for the courts. Back at the courthouse he had the clerk stamp all three forms, and provides Kate’s employers copy and the original to the clerk to file. The courts may or may not mail out the employer’s subpoena, however, they can also request you do it.





Filing contempt:


    If you are subpoenaing a business, try and allow them three weeks to a month to return the completed form back to you. Allow yourself a three week window in between your next court date and receiving it back, so if the completed paperwork never arrives, you can contact the courthouse you filed it through.  If you do not receive the subpoena by the specified date, call the clerk’s office and explain that you need the form for court and without it you won’t be able to present your case.  The courts should try and make contact with the business or person.  If an attempt is made by the courts with no success, then you might consider filing another contempt on them.





Tools to Start:


Below are some supplies you may want to have on hand when building your case and are for the most part common household items with the exception of a


few:





Paper


Pen, pencil, and highlighter


Access to a copy machine


Camera-in some cases


A separate folder for each ex, you build a case on, for filing important information.


Envelopes


Postage Stamps


Two notebooks to write down dates and times of any arguments, or situations that take place with an ex, as well as, your ex’s home and work contact information.


Phone Book


Be sure that you have access to the courthouse to make appearances or file.


Telephone access


Previous court orders and a calendar to mark important court dates.


Access to the internet


Access to “Unrepresented”


Patience, patience, patience!!!


                                                                                                   


Start Building Your Case:


      Any case that is presented in court will need to be built from the ground up.  Now is the time to decide (if you haven’t already), why you need to build a case? Next, ask yourself what needs to be filed and which courthouse you’ll file it in?


      You will need to file in the same courthouse your marriage license was issued through, the same courthouse a previous court order exists (with the ex you are taking to court now), or the courthouse that is in the county where your child resides.  If it’s that you were never married to your ex or there are no children between the two of you, you should file in the same county where you resided with your ex at the time you separated.


      If you are still unsure of which courthouse to file in, go to the all-states appendix in the back of this book, enter it on the web, and scroll to your state, click on it. There you will find all the courthouses in your state and county.  Find the courthouse nearest your residence and call the clerk’s office, explain what you need and provide them with a case number if possible. A representative should be able to locate your case if you have one with them.  If they cannot assist you, they may be able to point you in the right direction.  When you locate the courthouse, be sure and ask them which forms you should file, whether the forms can be located on the internet, library, or through the courts and if there are any fees associated with filing them.                               





Organizing:                                                                                                                                                                                                         


      Remember all those arguments you used to have with your ex which may be the same reasons why you’ve decided to file against them now or why they have summoned you into court?  All the arguments from the past and the present need to be well documented by you on paper, along with the dates beside them, if they pertain to the reason you are filing.  Think of it as writing a book and start at the beginning.  What started it?  What are the main issues you cannot deal with anymore?  Why ex has issues with this situation?  Why is your ex trying to prevent you from something?  Are there any good reasons why you feel the way you do about the situation?  Are there any benefits to making a change or keeping things the way they are? When did the issues with your ex start?  Are they still occurring?  How can these issues be resolved?  If there is a child involved, how can they benefit from the change or from keeping things the way they are? Are there other people involved? How are they involved? Are they making the situation better or worse? Remember to keep writing your book. Write down everything that takes place with your ex.


      The courts prefer to hear well organized cases. The dates are very important and only add to any proof that you present to a judge.  This step is necessary and would be required of you even if you were being represented.


      You are the only one besides your ex that knows the whole story and the only one who’ll need to convince the courts that you know what you’re talking about.





More questions:





      Next, decide whether you need to summons any documents or witnesses to help your case in court. Witnesses and documents that provide important information about your situation can only make your case stronger.  Determine if there is any proof you can obtain through a subpoena such as, wage verification, day care fees paid by your ex, etc.


      If you are planning to cross-examine, items such as newspaper clippings, or public records showing previous arrest or criminal behavior (which can be obtained through courthouse computers, per your request), can help assist in the cross-examining area.





Cross-examination questions:





      If you choose to cross-examine you’ll need to prepare a list of questions for each witness. Remember to make copies of any articles or reports for the judge and other party involved as well.  One way to get the courts attention is to hand all parties a copy of an arrest record (if your ex has one), and ask them to read the record out loud while under oath.  The best questions to ask a witness is yes and no questions.  If your ex (and they will), answers a question with a lengthy, complicated story, just turn to the judge and ask, “Your Honor, I respectfully request that the courts direct the witness to answer yes or no to my questions, and I request that all previous answers be stricken from the record.”  If your ex just so happens to have an arrest record, and you can get your hands on it, you could ask, “Isn’t it true that you were arrested over drug charges, on such and such a date? Yes or no?”  Meanwhile, you, the judge, and your witness are all holding the true report.


      The following is an example on how to cross-examine; “Do you drink alcoholic beverages while in the presence of our child, yes or no?  Have you been withholding my visits with our child?”  Keep it simple regardless and as brief as possible.


      Should you find that you are in need of a particular witness but their fees are too high, ask them if they will provide you with a statement for the courts to view.


Whether you will cross-examine a witness you should also be prepared to be cross-examined either by your ex’s attorney or your ex, unfortunately, it works both ways.  Since you should have a good idea of what makes this ex tick, and why you are in court with them, you should try to contemplate questions that they may ask you as well.  The court may ask the attorney representing the other party if they object to their client being cross-examined. Be sure to have an itemized list of all assets and debts available for court and attach any receipts or proof of purchase for all items.





Assets:


The following is a common list of assets you can address the courts with:





The family home                                                                                 


Vacation home                                                                                   


Tickets for an upcoming trip                                                                 


Automobiles                                                                                       


Recreational vehicles                                                                               


Exercise equipment                                                                                 


Electronics                                                                                                               


Family heirlooms                                                                                 


Jewelry                                                                                                                     


Wedding band                                                                                                         


Business or business name                                                                                   


Business supplies                                                                                                   


Computer software                                                                                                 


Tools                                                                                                                       


Appliances                                                                                                             


Antiques or rare coins


Collectibles


Tax Checks


401 K Plan


Stocks/Bonds


Royalties


Assets Continued:


Furniture


Pets


Cell Phones and contracts


Debts:


Below is a list of common debts you can address the courts with:


Auto loans


Tax liens


Day care expenses


Home loans


Tuition (child)


College expenses (child)


Utility bills/bills


Cellular bills including contracts


Rent


School supplies (child) text book rental


Insurance


Club fees


Doctor bills


Attorney fees


Divorce fees


Business debts





Assets of sentimental value:


Below is a list of common items you may have possessed before you and your ex resided together, and some arguments you might present to the courts if you want to keep the items:





Family home; maybe your father or grandfather built the home, and it’s been in the family for many generations. It could be that your ex committed adultery, did drugs, alcohol, or abused you causing the break-up and you feel they aren’t entitled to the home through no-fault of your own.


Collectibles; have been in the family for generations or were obtained by you before the


relationship started.


Vehicle; used to transport your child or used for medical purposes.


Business; you started on your own and put your own money into it.


Royalties; your spouse was not supportive throughout your venture.


Household supplies; appliances or items you need for your child and they only have themselves to worry about.


Cellular phone and service; you need for your child and emergencies.


Pets; because of bond with your child or you had it before the relationship.


Mortgage/rent; your ex may have abandoned you when you were without a job and left bills over-due, or maybe they cheated on you and you need them to help maintain the even though they moved out.





Take control:                                                                                                                                                                                       


      So you’ve decided to file against your ex; you’ve figured out which courthouse you need to file through and what you need to file, as well as, which forms to file and where to locate them.  You know whether your state allows self-representation.  You’ve made a list of all debts and or assets and attached all proof of purchases. You know what out of those debts and assets, you would like divided, and what you believe would be reasonable for your ex to keep or pay. You have maintained accurate, written records-including, dates of any incidents that may have occurred between you, your ex, or anyone pertaining to the main issue, until your court date has arrived. Your calendar is marked accordingly. You’ve checked to see if there is any parking, parking meter, or transportation fees, and you’ve verified that you have a ride on the day of court.  You’ve checked on road delays or detours.  You know where the courthouse is and what time you need to arrive. You’ve subpoenaed any witnesses and documents in plenty of time to receive the completed forms back before court.  You’ve made a folder with all documents pertaining to your case. If you decided to cross-examine any witnesses, you’ve made a list of questions for each, and you’ve went through your file, organized, and placed the most important issues on top, to be presented first in court. Hear ye, hear ye, you’re about to take control of your situation!





An example:


Let’s begin by walking through a case that may be similar to yours.  Kate and Joe were married and had three children together.  Kate filed for divorce and it was granted by the courts. Kate remained in the family home with the children.


      Joe moved and maintained all visits with his children.  The courts ordered him to pay child support.





      After a few months, Joe filed for a support modification, because his employer cut his hours from a five day work week to four.  He reviewed his state guideline’s which read that if his income went below 20 percent at any time of the year; he would be allowed to file for a modification.  Normally, the courts will insist on both parties waiting at least one year from the last order, except when the percentage in income drops to state standards.


      Kate received the summons for the modification, and remembered that Joe’s company cuts back at the same time each year and it only lasts for one month.  She knows that if she fails to provide some proof of this to the courts and he is awarded the modification, that they may keep the new order the same until a year passes.  She decides to wait until the court date which is pushed out three months, before subpoenaing Joe’s employer for each check stub, from the time he filed for the modification, right up to their court date. This will show how much his income really suffered.  She marks the court date on her calendar and sets her cell phone alarm to go off one and a half months before court, as a reminder to subpoena his employer.


      Meanwhile, Joe decides he wants to subpoena Kate’s employer for wage verification and the exact amount she pays weekly for their children’s health care-excluding her portion.  He looks up and writes down her and her employer’s addresses and phone numbers. he knows he needs to use his old case number each time he files something on her, so he jots it down. 


J    Joe’s aware that there are parking meters in front of the courthouse where he will need to file, so he takes the right amount of change with him and makes the trip.  He goes to the clerk’s office which is the same office that provided him with the previous modification packet.  He asks the clerk for two subpoenas, one for Kate’s employer, and one in case he messes the form up (of course he won’t tell her that).  He takes out his page of information and places that old case number on the subpoena, along with Kate’s full name, address, and her employer’s information. He writes down what it is he wants the employer to provide him with, the date they’ll have to return the completed document back to him by, and his return address. He takes the subpoena to the library, makes two copies, and then returns to the clerk’s office, to have the clerk stamp all three forms; one for him, one for the employer, and the original for the courts. Kate does not get a copy. He has given her employer two months to complete and return the form, leaving one month in between court in case they do not respond.





    Over a month has passed; Kate’s cell alarm sounds, it is time to file that subpoena on Joe’s employer.  She takes the same steps he did with the exception of verifying health insurance, and marks her calendar for the date the form is due back to her and waits it out to see if they comply.


    One more month passes and both Joe and Kate receive their completed subpoenas in the mail.  They both start organizing their folders, preparing concise presentations for the courts, and Kate arranges a sitter for their children.


    Two weeks before court, Kate checks with her sitter again to make sure she will still be available.


    The night before court, Kate, and Joe gas up their vehicles, get the correct amount of change for parking meters, and check with the courthouse by phone to see if there have been any last minute scheduling changes. 


      On the day of court, Kate gets up extra early and gets her children around and off to the sitter’s. She goes back home and takes some extra time grooming and goes back over her case. Her paperwork is in order, the way she’ll present it to the courts.  She leaves early to allow for any road construction or traffic delays and arrives at court on time.


      Joe does all the same, minus the part about the children and heads into court.


      In court, both parties enter wage verifications on each other. Joe enters the health care cost.  Kate’s wages and health care cost remained the same as the last time they were in court. She was able to prove to the courts that Joe’s income only suffered one month a year.


    Joe spoke up and addressed the courts about lowering his child support each year for that month, so he wouldn’t have to struggle the next time it happened. 


The courts listened to both sides and took an average based on five weeks a year being eight hours shorter for Joe, and lowered Joe’s support.  Had Kate not built a case and proved to the courts that his income wouldn’t suffer year round, she could have seen a significant drop in child support received all year.


If something is affecting you address it in court. The judge cannot read your mind, you are the only one who can speak up and take that stand.  Spend time on your case to get it right.





One month before court:





      Remember to check your calendar one month before court and make sure none of the subpoenas you have sent out are overdue.  If the form hasn’t arrived yet, contact the courthouse you filed it through immediately. If you have children and have not yet contacted a provider to care for them on your court day, now would be a good time.  Taking children into court is not suggested, however, sometimes you may not have a choice so if need be take them with you.  Be sure to contact your employer and put in a notice letting them know that you will be absent for a few hours or the whole day depending on how long court lasts.                                                                                                               


Two weeks before court:





    As mentioned in previous chapters be sure to prearrange child care. Check on parking fees, transportation fees, and with anyone who may be driving you to court, and put in a notice at work. Be sure you have the directions to court and know the area where you will park. You really should not show up at the last minute to try and locate a parking spot.  The streets surrounding the courthouse can be under construction and or closed, with no parking signs stretched out twelve blocks from where you need to be. These things happen often, that’s why it’s important to check your route beforehand.Double check documents, records, etc., to be sure anything you’ll present the courts with have been copied for the other party, otherwise, the courts may not take it into consideration.





Tip: If you are submitting tax documents, and the new spouse or other family members are listed on the forms, along with their social security numbers, you may want to make a copy of your return and white out their personal numbers on the copy you provide to your ex or the courts.  The other party is entitled to your tax return when child support is a factor, but not to you and your family’s personal information.





One week before court:





      One week before your court date it couldn’t hurt to give any friends or family members that may be listed as witnesses a quick call as a reminder of their appearance.  Ask them (if they have small children), if they’ve prearranged for a sitter.  You may wish to offer to pay the care. Gather all documents, subpoena’s, records, etc., and put them in the same order you’ll address the courts with.  Be sure to have your list of questions ready (if you cross-examining anyone). Put the most important issues to cover at the top of your stack and least at the bottom.Write down emergency numbers for the sitter and place it on the top of your stack, so you don’t forget it the morning of court before you walk out the door.





Two days before court:





    You may consider rehearsing your case.  It is important that you know what to say and when to relay it to the courts.  Remember, the judge is human, but it is still a job, they have to reside over a certain amount of cases before their day is done, so know what you’ll discuss and be as brief as possible.  The judges I’ve met are personable. They also know that people may be a little nervous about getting up in front of others, and they know that there are bound to be flaws from both parties presenting their cases.  If you prepare for court, your day will go a lot smoother.


    Call the courthouse to make sure no there have been no last minute scheduling changes. Often courts double book their judges in error or the other party may decide to call in at the last minute to reschedule.  It could be that the courts simply never penciled you in.  Calling ahead won’t hurt a bit and will save you time and money should it be canceled.


    Use this day to think ahead about any possible upcoming court dates you may want to file for.  For example, let’s say that your ex tends to uh, forget important documents, even though they have been requested in ample time, before court.  You already know that if they don’t bring in the W-2 you requested there is going to be another court date. You know you cannot take their word that they make x amount of dollars, so while you’re in court, you might as well plan on filing for another hearing, or ask the judge for a continuance.  If you find that this is an example of you and your ex then take all contact information with you into court, just in case-doing so could only save you another trip to file later.


    Check for any road delays or construction.  If there are road delays and construction scope out an alternative route.





The night before court:





The night before court; gas up the vehicle to save time on the day of court.


While you’re at the gas station, grab a water-just in case you might have a scratchy throat.


Ask the attendant for correct change-if you know there are parking meters.


Go to the bank (if need be), for bus fair or transportation fees.


Purchase any transportation tickets on this day.


If someone is driving you give them a call as a reminder.


Check for any road delays.


Go back over your case.


Pick out you and or your child’s clothing and lay it out.


Pack diaper bag up if need be.


Set your alarm.


Get plenty of rest this night.


Your court day:


It might be beneficial to eat a little something before court.


Take some extra time grooming it’ll at least make you feel better.


Take the emergency paper you wrote out and place it somewhere the sitter will see it.


Check to see if your court date is still on.


Grab all paperwork for court and give yourself some extra driving time.


Pay any parking fees and check in with the courts to let them know you’ve arrived.


If you see the other party refrain from making faces or engaging in an argument with them, this is why you are going to court, to stop all the bickering.


While in court be polite to everyone including the judge, your ex, and their attorney.


Don’t speak out of turn.


Don’t mention hear say, if you have no proof, don’t mention it in court or anything that does not pertain to the reason you are in court on this day-like issues about support, when your ex may be in contempt for withholding your visits with your child and has nothing to do with support.


Don’t give dirty looks or let your ex bring the worst out in you. Remember, the judge can


clearly pick up on that stuff.





A reminder:





    You may have realized that many chapters are repetitious.  It is necessary to reiterate most tips and helpful steps, as many will not read this book from cover to cover, and I don’t want to leave anyone in the dark.