Do Not Read This

Traffic Cop

        So, I'm waiting for this traffic cop to give me the wave. And it started me
    thinking. What if Charlie Sheen was the traffic cop? I'll tell you what; he'd
    get it done. Charlie Sheen is on the radio more than the melt down in the
    middle east. Why? Because its show business. I know this is hard to swallow,
    but most of us are spectators. Glen Beck is more paranoid than any Hollywood
    space cadet. He's telling his listeners to leave the cities and hide in Canada.
    Let me be the first to burst Mr. Beck's bubble. The middle east has always
    been in turmoil. There are Old Testament folk like Pat Robinson, who are thrilled
    the Apocalypse is here. Why? Because it's show business. That's why I can't get
    enough of Charlie Sheen. He is just fun. I love him.
        Reality check. I have spoken with Egyptians. I am not a terrorist. I love American
    show business. The Egyptians I know don't want a nuclear third world war. They are
    not on a Jihad. They want good jobs and a happy life. Can you dig it? I like to rant.
    Charlie Sheen's rants beats mine, hands down. He should do stand up. I hope he gets
    his kids back. That was vicious. But, if you listen to the pop psychologists they know
    everything about Charlie Sheen from a single interview. Is that responsible medicine?
    What if I said psychiatry was founded by NAZI philosopher Karl Young. That Sigmund
    Freud was a pedifile, who advocated early sexual development. Is that as accurate as
    diagnosing Charlie Sheen on the Today Show?
        Nobody likes a whistle blower. Case in point Ralph a friend from high school.
    Ralph liked to get rough with his girl friend. I witness him tear her clothes off and
    have sex with her. Well, I was upset. So, I told my dad. He put down his glasses.
    This was a very serious gesture and looked at me. "Do you know what you are
    saying? That is rape." he bellowed. I took a step back from his desk in his den.
    And I walked away. Dad continued to correct papers from his Freshman Common
    Errors exam. I thought about what I saw and remembered Valery was giggling
    when Ralph stripped her. If I had asked my dad to call the police Ralph would have
    been arrested and convicted and have a criminal record for the rest of his life.
    Ralph has a happy family and a nice house today. Thankfully, I was not too quick to
    judge him. I don't know what happened to Valery. She was applying for a nursing
    school, when Ralph got rough with her.
        The thought police are everywhere. And when does news mean Celebrity "Melt
  Down"? David Letterman is a womanizing grumpy old man. Wht's news about that?
  Mel Gibson is a crazy Aussie. So what? Oh, and he's antisemitic when drunk. Wow!
  Who isn't? Have you ever met a politically correct drunk? Please, this is a witch hunt.
  I like Mel Gibson. I'd like to slap around David Letterman. He's such nit picker.
  But, they all have a right to entertain us. That's in the constitution right? I would like
  to see naked supermodels on network television. That's in the constitution too!
  Let's have more fun in show business!

  Have I offended you?
  Why are you reading this?
 

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