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I challenged myself to 250 words a day, we'll see how that turns out. . . |
Well, I'm at the end of day one of liquid diet aka gastropareisis diet phase 1. And it could have been worse. I even took my yucky Reglan like I was supposed to. And honestly I felt pretty good, if a little hungry most of the day. Had some weird dizzy/too hot then too cold spells throughout the day so I'm wondering if there is a blood sugar connection going on. Hopefully tomorrow will be even easier and I'll have even more energy because I'd like to put some Laundry away, which is an odd thing for me to say, but its true, I'd like to get it done. And I'd like to actually take a shower, because I'm thinking I'm getting kinda gross with this no leaving the house business. I had fun hanging out with people this weekend, but not feeling very social again. I don't know what's up with that, just feeling like insulating myself against people for the most part these days. I suppose I'm not much fun to be around what with the no job to talk about anyway. All that I do is hang out at home all day, and I don't even do much here. I'm just not myself and I know it, but something is just off. Maybe it is depression, I don't know. I just feel HEAVY, and not like physically heavy, like running through syrup or mud heavy. I was very excited to be home at the beginning of the year, its weird. I wanted to write for real--I still have my books with prompts sitting here. I was FINALLY going to put in the effort to write because its my only real skill (I hesitate to use the word talent) and I was going to figure out a way to make a living doing it--hence the title of this blog that no one ever sees--but then I got the weird fever/flu thing that never went away really just turned into the bronchitis and the stomach getting worse and now I'm just at that "what does it really matter" point. But I'm going to stick it out, and if nothing else I'm going to document dealing with stupid doctors and their stupid diets and stupid, constant not-listening because MAYBE someone else will see it somewhere down the road and find it mildly helpful, or at least be able to say "See, it happens to other people too." and feel a little bit better about themselves. |