The Journal of Zachariah Switch

Why I'll Never Marry [Part 3]

She said she loved me a lot. Why--or where that came from, I don't know. I was never particularly warm to her. In fact, I've made it a habit to outwardly show my disdain for those I bed so that there are no misconceptions of attachment forming on my end. After my experience with Leslie, I will reconsider my tactic.





The first time she told me that she loved me was during a physical moment. I chalked it up to passionate bedroom talk, and so I reciprocated. I'll admit that it was stupid of me to do that, however, (later) I argued that a guy can't be held a hundred percent accountable for what he says in bed. A point which I'm sure most guys would agree with.





She began saying she loved me after that--and not just in the bedroom. It was awkward to be put in that situation, and so my repeated response became "ok". Eventually she began noticing that I was not returning her feelings, which spurred on some heated fights. Her knowledge of my indifference toward her wasn't enough to repel her, and because I found the fights with her a turn on, we continued our dysfunctional tryst.