Vertago

The Tridentine Latin Mass

        I'll probably catch hell for this, but it bored me to tears. I like Jesus.
  I think he was trying to be a social activist. And like all good peaceful leaders
  he was martyred. I don't know if he rose from the dead and ascended into
  heaven on a cloud. I wasn't there. However, that would contradict the laws
  of nature. Consider, it is written that after Mohamed died in the city of Medina,
  he rode a horse into Heaven. Is this any less true than Jesus' resurrection?
  What would Glen Beck say?
        Sitting in Saint Patrick's Cathedral, sweltering or freezing, truly made me
  nauseous. I used my imagination to pass the time as the Priest mumbled latin
  with his back to us. I Pictured the girls naked and dancing about the alter.
  I wondered what was playing at the cinema. Could the Priest be making incantations?
  What would he do if Jesus showed up? "Oh? Hello Jesus. I was just in the middle
  of your Mass. Could you take a seat?" I didn't believe Jesus looked like a blond swede.
  He was probably very dark with curly hair.
        Have you ever wondered why Jesus is Republican? Somewhere in the checkered
  history of Christianity Jesus became a symbol for the ruling class. Jesus was used
  to justify slavery and the "Just War." How much do all the wars cost; Rush Limbaugh?
  I'm talking about cash, not the brave who die for the powers that be. There are five
  permanent bases in Iraq. That's expensive. According to the Pope the war on Islamic
  terrorist will not be won with bombs. It is "Spiritual Combat." I don't know how to
  reason with fanatics, but if they attack me I'll kill them; Abraham told me to.
        I would sit in that Cathedral and stare up at Angels painted on the ceiling.
  Do Angels walk amongst us? What if they're Lizard Men in disguise? I'd study the
  congregation and flipped through my Missal. Saint Peter drove a serpent man off.
  He hit the demon over the head with his staff. That'd do it. This is the problem
  facing all religions: alternative entertainment. How to keep the flock in the pews.
  Poor Fr. Butler he looked like a Muppet and sounded like a fog horn: "Blah..blah..blah."
  Yeah, I get it be nice and don't have sex outside of marriage... zzzzzz.
  Mom would chuckle and nudge me as my eyes started to shut. She thought the
  whole thing was funny.


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