Complex Numbers

On A Jet Plane

So there have been a good number of stories lately about airport screening measures, revolts upon same, and lawsuits.

Here's one:

http://www.prisonplanet.com/tsa-hit-with-lawsuits-as-revolt-explodes.html

Now, this got me to thinking, because I find myself once again planning air travel (this might be my last flight unless sanity resumes).

One complaint I've heard is that you can either walk through a scanner that essentially takes a naked picture of you through your clothes, or opt for a physical scan. The latter involves someone groping your privates (and I somehow doubt that someone looks like Zoe Saldana, or I'd totally fly more).

Now, honestly, I'm of two minds about this. While I think the threat of terrorism is real, I also think it's blown (see what I did there?) way out of proportion. Here's an article from Cracked that elucidates it pretty well:

http://www.cracked.com/article_18849_6-statistically-full-s2321t-dangers-media-l...

Summary: Cows are more hazardous than sharks; stairs will kill you before elevators will; and: "In the last decade -- including the 9/11 attacks -- you've been about 10 times more likely to die from a fire you accidentally set in your home than from a terrorist attack. Somebody should make a show about a Jack Bauer type who runs around reminding people to put out the goddamned cigarette before they pass out on the sofa."

Now, you can argue that it's airport screening that keeps the incidence low. I'm not going to argue with that, because I don't have the data and I'm too lazy to look it up. All I know is, I think they could fucking ease off a little without significantly raising the chance I'm going to get blown up by a right-wing extremist or other terrorist type.

Hell, I don't see metal detectors installed around Detroit, and if you enter THAT shithole, you're taking a way bigger chance than you are flying.

Anyway, my other mind is like: Who cares? So someone can see my privates in an x-ray scan. We as a nation need to chill the hell out about nudity, anyway. We make such a goddamned big deal of it people are STILL talking about Janet Jackson's boob at the Superbowl from a few years ago.

Relax. It's a body. Half the people in the world have one similar to yours. Leaving aside whether the measures are actually useful or not, so what? Maybe there'd be less anger in the world if we could see each other naked more often. More disgust, maybe, but less anger.

So here's my proposal:

Everyone show up to the airport naked.

Seriously.

They're going to look anyway. And you can put your clothes in a carry-on and slip into them before you get on the airplane. They can look through your carry-on, but there'll be no damn reason to x-ray or grope you.

Just show up naked.

That's a protest I can get behind.

(See what I did there?)


Anyway, I also wanted to share this, which is completely unrelated:

We want to offer all of you an apology. We asked our readers to photoshop us some "inappropriate children's book covers." This seemed like such a simple, innocuous idea because quite frankly there is nothing as innocent as a child and there is no more wholesome activity than reading.

More than 400 entries later, we realized how tragically, horribly wrong we were. We have ordered the following entries roughly from least disturbing to most, and the very worst have been placed safely at the end. We recommend no one look at them.

At the very end we have placed the winner, who will receive five thousand pennies, which is $50. Again, we're sorry.

We apologize in advance for the eight most offensive entries, #8 to #1.

http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_3_the-40-most-inappropriate-childrens-book-co...