Complex Numbers

Costume

I need a Halloween costume idea.

I don't usually "dress up" for Halloween. I'm not a creative person (at least when it comes to costumes; I like to think my writing shows some vague glimmers of creativity) and so the extent of my outfits thus far involve me wearing regular clothes while carrying a box of Cheerios with a knife through it.

Puns, I can do.

See, okay, here's what's going on:

Saturday night, I was feeling depressed - it is, after all, October, and the days are getting shorter and I can feel my serotonin drying up like spit in the Mojave - so I decided if I'm going to be depressed, goddammit, I'm going to be depressed with a beer in my hand. So I went off to Beer Run with my Kindle, sat outside, and drank.

The cool thing about a Kindle - if there is one - is that when people see you reading it, they're all like, "Is that a Kindle?" Which surprises me, because Amazon has claimed since they first came out that they were selling like lemonade in the aforementioned Mojave. Which should mean that by now, FIVE freaking years later, everyone in the country ought to have two of them.

And yet, other than mine, I've seen... three.

Okay, anyway, so people were coming up to me going "Is that a Kindle?" None of them were cute, so I was just like "Yeah."

"How do you like it?"

I'd shrug. "It's like reading a book, only no one can see what you're reading."

Then my favorite waitress - off-duty that night - sits down at the next table with a dude who also works there and they order a beer.

"Hey, man," says the off-duty waiter (the waitress barely acknowledged my existence). "What are you reading?"

So much for not having the title on display.

Well, I wasn't reading anything embarrassing like "Hello Kitty Meets Edward Cullen and They Have Lots of Unicorn Rainbow Vampire Kittens," so I say, "Something by Jim Butcher."

He squints.

"Jim Butcher? Dresden Files? But this is his fantasy series."

Blank look.

By now I'd thought everyone had at least heard of Harry Dresden. I guess you have to have a Kindle.

About then my friend Mike shows up, saving me from further conversation with the desperately unenlightened. At the same time, Cute Waitress shows up with an Even Cuter Friend and they sit down at the next table.

Cute Waitress clinks glasses with fucking Mike. Bastard.

Anyway, they end up telling us that the National Zoo up in DC is going to have a costume party along with a concert by Grace Potter and the Nocturnals (one of those musical artists you've never heard of that I really like) and that they were going.

I consider the prospect of what kind of costume Even Cuter Friend might come up with, and make an on the spot decision that I was going to the party.

"Who's Grace Potter?" asks Mike, which surprises me, because he's even more into music than I am - but then, I'd had to teach him about DarWilliams, so okay.

So Cute Friend explains - in terms of a lot of those musical artists that you've never heard of that I really like.

Suddenly, Even Cuter Friend became EvenCuterFriend. I'm a sucker for people who share some of my taste in music, okay?

Then I find out she's 21.

Goddammitalltofuckinghell. I finally meet someone who not only has heard of the artists I like but loves them, and she's less than half my age.

I have about as much chance as spit in the desert.

I still wanna go to the party at the zoo.  

So I need a costume idea.

No sparkly vampires, creepy mouthless cats, or unicorns, please.