It All Starts with a Kernel

Do the Words really Make a Difference?

n the development of my book, it was decided that the intimate scenes needed to be 'spiced up'. I had agreed to do this from the beginning and I have no problems with it...theoretically...





Don't misunderstand, it is not the content that I struggle with, it is the actual writing of it. To explain plainly, my intimate scenes are VERY descriptive and effective, however I don't...ughm...use the 'words'.





I don't replace them, so we aren't going to cheese level with a velvety sword or her treasure of delight...(lol). No, I simply refer to them I guess as his and hers, or him...(you get the idea).





I do this not because I have some objection to the 'words' (and if you are wondering about these 'words', think about all of the words to describe human anatomy that your mother would smack you for using aloud). but more because I would cringe using them. Which is REALLY ironic considering I have no problem reading them.





So, I swallowed my unreasonable squeamishness and rewrote the main sex scene using the 'words'. Not bad...but I was curious. Does it really make that much of a difference?





So I did an experiment (my Jr. High science teacher would be so proud) that perhaps you guys would find interesting.





I took a few close friends (people who did not know about my hesitation), and two people I am acquaintances with. I had them read the original scene and asked them a few questions. Then I broke out the SAME scene with the rewrite to include the pesky 'words' I was referring to...the results were interesting.





The groups reaction to the first reading was of heated discomfort, in a good way. They felt the scene was intimate, hot and personal.


The groups reaction the second version of the same scene were blushes, clearing of throats and embarrassment. The people who don't know me as a friend were more at ease with the content than those who did. Both were complimentary, stating the scene is great. It is sensual, dirty and a good portrayal of two strangers 'getting it on'.


The most interesting part came with the people who know me. I found overwhelmingly that those people found it difficult to read the piece without cringing at first and it took a little while for them to become enveloped in the events. Thinking, "Oh, Wow, Amy just used the word cock!" Although in the end their comments were very similar. Hot and a guilty pleasure.





So do the words make a difference? Really?





Original Scene - Unrelenting, her feather touch trailed his spine. It circled his waist, and stopped at the button of his jeans. Her hand covered him and spread as it stroked the bulge in his pants. Spasms of unparalleled hunger pushed through the core of his body.





Revised Scene - Unrelenting, her feather touch trailed his back, circled his waist, and stopped at the button of his jeans. Her hand grasped his cock through his pants and stroked the bulge. Spasms of unparalleled hunger pushed through the core of his body.





This is probably a weak example but it illustrates the point. In both paragraphs I am describing the exact same events with the difference of a few selected words.





What is the difference?Is there a difference, really?





It seems to me there is a difference but it is subtle. One garners more of a physical reaction than the other...who knew a few pesky three and four letter words replaced in a sentence could create such a reaction...





Very curious...