WIP--a woman rebuilds her life after the destruction of her world |
Time is fleet and it was time to get up all too soon. I had not gotten to sleep until the wee hours of the morning, because I had tossed and turned, thinking about Laurel’s sudden reappearance. I could hardly believe that she had survived. Pravati did not seem to be the kind of man who would forgive easily, and we had caught Laurel in the act. But maybe her scars were not readily seen. Again, Aiesa ran the stall while Dak worked the horses. Every day, several of the men would herd the horses to a new pasture ground. Sometimes, curious villagers would come along to check out the stock. In fact, one family had a particularly nice string of horses they were selling. So far, there were a lot of lookers, but no buyers. I still had to clean the mud from my shoes, which were finally drying out. I kept an eye on Josh as well, and Suli helped her mother. Most of the younger children cavorted in the central grassy area, made by our ringed wagons, but Josh was an active and curious little boy. I had to keep close watch on him, or he would run off to find his father. By midday, my shoes were clean and on my feet. We sat down for lunch and ate quickly. “I shall go see the innkeeper this afternoon, Aiesa,” I said, as we ate yet another dinner of pottage. “Oh, yes, I had almost forgotten you wanted to do that,” she said. “Suli, you’ll have to watch your brother this afternoon, while Sister goes on her errand.” Suli nodded, and Josh looked annoyed. "But ma!” he whined, “Suli pulls my ears.” Aiesa stared at him, while Dak suppressed a smile. “Your sister is just looking out for you, son,” she said. “This is a new and strange place; we don’t want you wandering off.” “Hmmph,” the little boy muttered, devouring his pottage quickly. “'m gonna go play now,” he said, and started to get up. “Oh, no you don’t,” said Dak. “Not so fast there. Wait for your sister.” He pointed his spoon at Suli. “I’m almost done, Papa,” Suli said, finishing off her pottage. “Tis no trouble to watch him.” Suli followed Josh, who ran happily ahead to the clearing. I watched as she sat down on the grass. Other children ran out to play and soon they were all playing a game of tag. Suli played with some of the littlest ones, the ones who were too little to play such a rough game of tag. “She’s very helpful, isn’t she?” I said. “Suli’s a good girl,” Dak replied. He and Aiesa exchanged glances, and I felt out of place, watching the married couple. “Well, then I’ll be off.” I stood to go, leaving my half-eaten bowl of pottage. “Not hungry?” Aiesa asked, looking at my bowl. “Um… no, I ate so late last night, I’m not that hungry. Sorry.” She nodded stiffly. I thought maybe I had offended her, but I did not want to press the issue. “I’ll be off then.” I waved, and started to walk to the road. “Oh, Sister!” Dak called behind me, “are you sure it will be safe?” I looked back. “Yes, why wouldn’t it be?” “Ok, then. When should we expect your return?” The kindly look on his face told me that he was genuinely concerned for my well-being. Aiesa glanced at us as she gathered up the lunch dishes. I felt guilty suddenly for leaving her all that work to do by herself. “I’ll be back by dinnertime, most likely. He’ll want to discuss the ceremony, and we will have to look at the site. It shouldn’t take longer than that. If it does, I will try to send a message to you.” Dak nodded, and we waved farewell. Then he went back to Aiesa and I headed out onto the main road. It was a beautiful day and a pleasant walk. Insects buzzed greetings in the ditches near the roadway, and high up in the sky, I saw a couple of hawks swirling about in a mad flight. The ground was firm under my feet; quite a change from the earlier trek to town. Two nights before, the dirt road was nearly ankle-deep mud. It had been a tough walk, slogging through it, but now, I walked freely and unhindered. Instead of the half-hour to reach the village, it took only fifteen minutes. Now that the rain had stopped, the village did not appear as poor as I had thought, but it was still not one of the wealthier villages. Children were playing in barren yards, while I saw some of their mothers sitting on porches, mending or sorting the washing. I nodded politely at these women and children as I walked by the homes. The homes looked like they had been built in a rather haphazard fashion. The styles were vastly different, with some made of brick or stone, and others made of mud-daubed logs. Some dwellings had three floors; others were single-room cottages. It was much different than the orderly layout of the Skoll village of Lochleven, and most other towns were also laid out in a more organized fashion. Perhaps this village had been built by default, since it sat on a crossroads. Finally, I reached the inn and entered. My eyes adjusted slowly to the dim interior. The inn was fairly empty, since it was after the lunch crowd. Two old men were eating at a table in the corner. The innkeeper was drying glasses behind the bar. I saw no sign of the serving women. The innkeeper looked up as I arrived. “There you are,” he said, coming around the bar toward me. His clothing seemed greasy and I was loathe to touch him, but I took his proffered hand in friendship. “I expected you yesterday.” “I’m sorry; I know I promised to do the ceremony last night, but something came up, and I had to attend to it.” I sat down on one of the barstools, and the man went back behind the bar. “Thirsty, Sister?” he asked, picking up one of the freshly-washed glasses. “What’ll you have? Ale, wine, beer?” “Um, let me think…” I thought a moment, and decided. “A fruit wine if you have any.” “My pleasure.” He busied himself with the wines and chose an apricot wine. I shrugged when he presented it to me. “A very good vintage, I assure you.” He poured a glass and set it in front of me. My stomach suddenly growled. “Perhaps a bit of bread and cheese if you have it, sir,” I said politely. “I am a bit hungry from that long walk.” “Certainly, certainly.” He went to the kitchen, and a moment later, he was bringing out a platter of cheeses and a loaf of bread. He set it down on the bar, and went back to drying the glasses. “Oh, thank you,” I said, smiling. I tore a hunk of bread from the loaf and ate it, washing it down with the wine. “Delicious.” “Now, then about the ceremony, can you do it tonight?” he asked, rather abruptly. Then he paused for a moment. “Oh, where are my manners? My name is Stewart Linehart, owner of this fair pub.” He bowed and I tried not to smile. He spoke formally in the Old Valgard tongue. It took me a second to understand what he said. “I am Sister Catriona McClane, late of Lochleven, formerly of Naireven, formerly of Kalinde.” I used the same speech, but yet I wondered why he chose to speak so formally. “Well met, Sister. Now, about the ceremony… it must be done soon. Our town has suffered greatly in the past year. After the recent unpleasantness, the sickness descended upon our village, taking many people’s lives. We sent for a healer, and were astonished to realize that the great Mother House was destroyed.” I looked at him in surprise. “You mean you hadn’t heard? How could you not have heard? Thorshammer sent messengers to the farthest corners of Valgard. Surely one passed through here. What did you think that ‘recent unpleasantness’ was all about?” Linehart looked at me. He sighed. “I see.” “Do you see? Do you?” I could hear the agitation in my voice, and fought to remain in control. I did not like to speak of those days, and he could not be such a thick, dumb clod—or could he? “Now, now. We don’t get many strangers here in town, and when we do, they mostly stay to themselves. We haven’t had a laird since the old one died a couple years back, and…” “Oh, that explains it,” I interrupted. “The messengers were instructed to talk to the lairds, and your town does not have one.” He nodded. “Yep, no one wanted to take his place, so we been pretty much on our own. Then we had that awful sickness.” Linehart touched his face. “Scarred some of us; others, well, others didn’t recover.” I nodded. “I understand.” I hoped the simple phrase could ease his suffering a bit. “I know what to do for the ceremony, and yes, I can do it tonight. I will have to go back to camp and gather some supplies, as well as leave word. Perhaps I will bring someone to assist me.” I took one last sip of the wine, which was quite good, and set the glass on the counter. “Can I see the site?” He nodded. “Julinda!” he yelled toward the kitchen. The older servant woman came out. “Keep yer pants on. Yrsa be damned. ‘oo’s this?” she asked, pointing at me. “I ‘member you from t’other night. Travelin’ wit a pack o’ Dyrlings.” “Yes…” “Now, Julinda, makes no never mind. This here is Sister McClane. She came to perform the blessing ceremony.” “Well met, Sister. I’d offer ye me hand, but I been in the flour.” Julinda’s apron was pattered with flour from bread, I assumed. “I’m showing her the well. I’ll be back in a little while. Mind the store while I’m gone,” he said. Linehart took off his apron, donning a hat, and he led the way out of the pub. In minutes we had walked to the center of the small village, where the well was located. I smiled. The stone sides were chipped and it was a small well, but every village had its sacred ground, and as soon as I stepped up to the side, I felt a breath of wind breeze by me. The gods were present here. Flowers that had once been bold and well-tended grew in cracks near the edges, and had grown wild. They would be tended to once again, I would be sure of that. “These flowers need tending. Why haven’t they been kept?” I admonished Linehart, who seemed embarrassed. “Well, no one volunteered after his lordship’s wife passed on.” He took off his hat reverentially and twisted it in his hands. I sighed. “Someone will start to look after these again.” I said it as a flat statement, so he could not refuse. “Of course, Sister.” “Yrsa does not bless those who do not help themselves or who do not pay the proper respect.” Linehart nodded humbly. I took another look around, but other than the wild riot of flowers, the well still looked decent enough. “When I return, I want some of these wilder flowers trimmed back. A lot of good a blessing ceremony does if no one helps themselves.” Muttering, I walked the perimeter of the well and finally bid Linehart farewell. “I’ll be back soon enough. Gather the people.” Linehart nodded, waving, and I headed back to the Dyrling camp site. It took no time to walk back in the late afternoon sun, and soon I was eating pottage again with Aiesa and Dak. This time I was hungry and ate heartily. I told the family of my plans, and asked if I could bring Suli along. “Suli?” Aiesa asked. “Yes, I thought she could help me.” I went into the wagon and gathered up some items I would need. “Let’s see… lavender, rosemary…” I put the herbs in a packet and took the bag of coins the innkeeper had given me a few nights before. When I came back out of the wagon, Aiesa and Dak were standing close together, whispering about something. The sun was sinking fast, and I needed to hurry up and get back before the sun went down completely. “Sister? Do you think it’s wise that you take a young girl? Wouldn’t you be better with a male escort?” Dak asked. He looked troubled, toying idly with the hem of his surcoat. “I was hoping to have Suli help me. It would only require her handing me the items in the proscribed order.” I smiled reassuringly. “But Sister,” Aiesa began, “well, your ways are not our ways. We do not think it should be something for her to participate in.” She spoke firmly and confidently. I knew that she would be hard to convince. “I see.” I put the items in my bag, turning away for a moment. Suli was standing in the shadows behind the wagon, I saw. She had overheard every word. “Perhaps you don’t want her to learn of other cultures?” I knew I was treading on thin ground, but suddenly, I felt it was important for me to bring this girl along. “The rituals of a foreign people are no place for our daughter.” Now it was Dak who spoke. He stared at me. I could see that he was not happy with the argument. He was generally an amiable man, and I hated to push him. “Yrsa wills it,” I said quietly, playing the last card I could think of. Surely he would not refuse the wishes of the gods. Both Aiesa and Dak blanched. “Um…..” Dak muttered. He and Aiesa conferred again. Finally, they turned toward me, holding hands in support. “If the gods will it, so be it, then, but you shall take Evan along as protection. The roads will be dark after your return.” Suli bounded out from behind the wagon. “Thank you, Mother and Father!” She showered them with kisses and hugs, and Dak somehow managed to untangle himself. :”Now, girlie, you will do as Sister tells you and you will not interfere or get in the way of her work. Do you understand?” Dak placed his hands on either side of Suli’s face, caressing her cheek with one of his thumbs. She put her hands on his and smiled. “Yes, father, I understand. I am only to help her, not to interfere or participate. Do not worry.” As they stood there talking, I grew impatient. “Come along then; I’m sorry but we must hurry. I promised to get the ritual done before sundown.” Looking Suli over, I saw that she was wearing a dirty tunic. Oh well. That would have to do. After kissing her parents goodbye again, Suli ran to get Evan, Anders’s older brother, and soon we set off. We walked quickly to the Marne town square. It still took around fifteen minutes to get there, and the townspeople were already assembled. Twilight had fallen by the time we began the ritual. I noticed that someone had trimmed the flowers and cleared them away. I took out the bag of coins and the innkeeper Linehart, who was standing in the front row, gasped in recognition. Most of the people stood with their heads bowed, waiting for me to start the formalized prayers in the old Valgarin tongue. “She Who Rules the Skies, accept this offering from these people. They have suffered without your divine guidance, but today, they take back what is theirs. Accept it freely.” I made some gestures with my hands before pouring out the entire bag of coins into the well. Suli then handed me the herbs as we had discussed on our walk over to the village. I held up the lavender. “With this symbol, Marne is healed.” I dropped the sprig into the well. Then she handed me the other herbs in turn and I did much the same. Finally, I ended the blessing with another formal prayer and the crowd waited in silence. They were waiting for a sign. I recalled similar ceremonies from my time at the Mother House. Sometimes the people would stand for a long time. But this night, they did not have to. A flock of birds flew out of a maple tree in which they had been roosting. The people in the crowd clapped, and a few even cheered. I felt relieved that the ceremony had gone off so smoothly. Sometimes, people waited a long time for a sign. The innkeeper rushed up to me afterward. “Thank you, Sister,” he said, shaking my hand. “The people seem relieved.” “I’m sure that your troubles will clear up soon. Yrsa will see to it. You gave her a wonderful tribute, and as long as the well continues to be taken care of, more than likely Yrsa will take care of you. I do hope that your people understand the importance of that.” The innkeeper nodded vaguely. “Yes, we’ve gotten someone to attend to it. Don’t you worry; her sacred sites shall be maintained with all the proper care due.” “Wonderful.” I closed my bag and slung it over my shoulder. Suli and Evan were waiting a few feet away. “I don’t know why you had to bring them with you, though,” the innkeeper muttered, nodding in the direction of the two Dyrlings. I stared at him. Anger boiled in my veins. How dare he insult my friends again. “You sir, do not deserve the blessings of Yrsa!” I hissed at him. He blanched, pale white in the oncoming darkness. It was all I could do to keep my anger in check. I could have slain him where he stood with just a glance. I felt the power washing over me, and in that instance, I knew because of this man’s stinginess, Yrsa would cause the people of this village to scatter to the winds. He made a movement as if to apologize, but I did not say anything. He would not get forgiveness from me. Suli and Evan had started to walk away, so luckily they did not overhear the man’s harsh statement. I summarily turned my back on him and walked briskly to catch up with Suli and Evan. “Sister, wait!” the innkeeper called. Most of the crowd had wandered back to their respective homes. A few turned back to see who was shouting, but I did not. I caught up to the Dyrlings. Suli looked at me with a questioning glance. I said nothing and we walked back to the Dyrling camp site. “Thank you, Suli, and you too, Evan, for your assistance.” Evan walked back to his family’s wagon, and Suli and I went inside our wagon. However, I did not speak to anyone, but gathered up my blankets, exited with the family staring at me and took the trail toward the river. I needed to be alone that night. The innkeeper’s words had troubled me, and I myself had caused dissension within the family I was traveling with. Yrsa had denied the blessing, and I felt terrible for not being able to fulfill my duties. I had performed the ceremony adequately, but I had failed these people. The river was cold yet inviting that night. I put the blankets on the ground and stripped down to my shift. I would wash away the ugliness of the horrid man, and renew myself in the healing waters. Yrsa, although a bird goddess, was fond of water as well. I suppose that tied into her fierce battles with Ji’Kalna during the early days of the gods. Yrsa was vain sometimes, wanting control of all three regions: the sky, sea, and air. I had nothing to fear, though. Ji’Kalna did not molest those of us who respected her ways. I floated lazily in the water, gazing up at the night sky. The moon was a crescent, high above me, and stars flickered in the darkness. I wondered how many other worlds could be out there, or if other worlds like this one even existed. I thought of many things as I washed myself in the river. I thought of Taggart, and wondered if he thought of me, gazing up at this same moon, watching the stars wheeling by. I missed him so much. I missed the way he made me laugh, the way he kissed me, his soft caressing hands, the way he made me feel so special and important… I missed everything about him. But maybe he had forgotten about me, or the time away had dulled his feelings for me. I shook that thought off quickly. I did not even want to think of the possibility. It was hard not to dwell on that thought, though. We had been apart for so long. Time can do funny things to a person. Time changes people. Time changes people’s feelings. Sometimes it makes the feelings more stronger; sometimes it makes them fade away. My feelings for Taggart were just as strong as they had always been; I could only hope that his had remained the same as well. It was small comfort that I would be seeing him soon. The water lulled me into a meditative trance, and I don’t know how long I floated there. When a splash startled me, I climbed out of the water, and dried off with one of the blankets. I dressed slowly, feeling the cool night air on my damp skin. The swim had refreshed me, but my mind still fluttered about from one thought to the next. I wanted to calm my mind, but it did not want to be calm. I took my blankets and trudged back toward the darkened campsite. I passed silently by the guard on duty, who was half-asleep anyway, and made my pallet under Dak’s wagon. I heard the snoring coming from the interior and settled down for the night. But I couldn’t sleep. My thoughts turned toward Taggart again, and suddenly, I found myself silently crying. Tears slipped down my cheeks in sadness. I could not stop the flood tide of pain and hurt I felt. I even felt sick to my stomach, dwelling on the memories of the recent past. I do not know what started the sad thoughts, but they rolled over and over in my brain, cascading like a waterfall. The failure of the blessing, the constant struggle and worry that I had been through, wondering if I would see Taggart again, having to leave Lisette with the Oracle, trying to be a mother to Shannon when I had been barely grown myself. I think I must have cried myself to sleep that night. I awoke with the dawn, feeling groggy and my eyes were all puffy and bloated. The family had already gotten up and were eating breakfast when I awoke. “There she is. Sister,” Suli said, “I was just telling mother and father about the ceremony, and how the huge flock of birds took flight at the end.” I smiled as her innocent chatter. “The people often wait for a signal that their prayer was heard.” Nodding slightly, I put the night things away, and got ready for the new day. It would hopefully pass better than the previous one had. You saw me, you saw the inner side the side I show no one, the sillyness of a foolish romantic… I bared myself to you. Remember…? |