Defying Fortune

Running On Empty

((The Music))
Here's another classic by Jackson Browne. I debated between "Running On Empty" and "Doctor My Eyes". The man is an asshole, but he could write a mean song. The hooks are smooth; the lyrics tell a story we could all relate to. And hell, doesn't the title say it all.

((The Life))
I am back from the wild, wild west. And I'll be heading back to the frontier in a couple of days.

This was a weekend that is hard to define. I got to know my eldest step brother more as well as his fiancee and her child. Almost the entire family headed out to a weekend full of hockey. Two kids under six, a girl in her blossoming tweens, and my step-brother's growing family means for fun times and lots of sugar. At the end of each day I found myself drained beyond belief.

The B-town Condors pulled off an amazing feat, coming from behind in the series to advance to the next round in the playoffs. We had some interesting moments in those three games, including some fellow Canadian fans getting their drink on and shouting the Canadian National Anthem at the top of their lungs. The Salmon Kings were good. A bit much on arrogance, but good. I was vastly impressed by the goalie Keeting, who played off all three nights and kicked ass through nights of pain. He was a classy guy, even gave my little brother his stick when he found out he was done for the season with the rest of his team.

This weekend will be more of the same. I'm not sure I can keep up with all this back and forth for long, but this is something that needs to be done. This is how I keep the communication open. A small sacrifice for family.

I caught two movies this weekend, a nice reprieve for the mental anguish of family troubles. We tried to skate over my grandfather's health; we mentioned, in passing, how tight the money is nowadays. I briefly touched on my classes, but didn't go into detail. I'm chicken, so sue me. We tried to keep it positive. Big smile and laughs, ignoring those small purple elephants flying in the room.


Clash of the Titans wasn't half bad. Snappier dialogue and a closer representation of mythology than some of the other ones that have come out in the past few years. It even paid homage to the original movie with a peak at the owl. I also caught Alice in Wonderland. This is a Burton-touch classic. The queens stole the show. All and all, not the best films of the year, but definitely movies worth seeing on the big screen.

This is the first time I pushed the limits on class time. I came on today early in the afternoon. The night before I barely caught my winks. Passed out for a couple of minutes on the ride home. With an hour to spare, I threw down my stuff in my room and decided to lay down for a few moments until I had to get up again for class. What could fifteen minutes of slumber hurt?

I slept for four and a half hours.

Completely missed my classes for the day. My father called me, and I didn't hear the phone ring. My mother tried to get me to wake, and there was no response. I was out to the world. And missed an entire exam.

If I thought I might have a hope of passing my Mathematics class a few days ago, I completely missed the call on that. There's not way to make up for lost time. This is my worst semester in my entire educational career. I've gone down the drain. And with this falling, a deep sense of doubt lingers. I was going to apply for the Honors Program, but after this fiasco I'm not sure if I can pull it off. How do I explain this when I apply? How do I explain it to myself?

I'm struggling to hang on. And there's stuff to deal with; the stuff that developed while I was away. I'm exhausted but hey, shit happens while you're awake. Gotta keep up.