Surprise

A great night out with friends,

i had a great time yesterday which is why i can't understand why i feel so guilty. Maybe it was just the wrong time to be having fun or i wasn't ready to give myself a break at the time. I borrowed a book yesterday that i had vowed to read through the night, and that's part of the reason i feel so bad that i spent half of the night out, laughing, and having a good time.
I like to think that am not easily influenced by my peers but something happened yesterday that made me think otherwise. It should have been a downright no when my friends suggested i go with a guy i didn't really know at 11 o'clock at night. But i played along and i went with him till his house then my conscience returned and i was out of the door before he even had a chance to say anything. It was a close call and it should never happen again. At least not unless its my own decision and i know what am doing. This time i have given myself a challenge, to make my own decisions and try as much as possible to make them about me and not about what others want or expect of me. If i am going to face the consequences it might as well be for something i wanted to do.