"Her"

Change

She peers over my shoulder as I sit at my table, staring at my life in virtual text, untouched by any human hands.

It's all there. Your life. I wonder if any of them are smart enough to realize that?

"I doubt it. But I'm sure some of them suspect it."

She snorts at me. It's still not enough. You write in puzzles that cover up the truth. Let them see it.

"And what would that matter? It's pointless trying to define who I am. I don't even fit into anyone's definition of anything."

Then it's time for a new definition. You're still much too quiet, even though you're trying to get off your island.

I look at her, my brown eyes meeting the ever-changing colors of her eyes. "So she told you then."

She's a part of you. Stop denying her freedom. She's not some wild out of control monster.

"She scares me, because she's free." I lowered my head, ashamed at my cowardice yet again.

She isn't free. Not so long as you cover her mouth.

"I'm afraid."

So? I'm afraid for you, and yet I stay. She looks at me, searching my heart again, her eyes changing from vermillion to crimson, from violet to amythest, from emerald to sage. They need you with them. All of you. Don't leave your heart behind.

"And I won't I be crushed then? Everyone is so much older and there are more of them than they are of me."

If a mouse anticipated being crushed underfoot by an elephant, he'd never get anything done, Little One. Now is your time to act. Show your backbone and teeth, no matter how small you think they are. She focuses on my heart again, and her eyes become like the universe, black empty space sprinkled with stars. She hurt you beyond measure didn't she?

I nod, and swallow my pain down into the pit of my stomach, making it ache. Of course she spoke of the one who betrayed me half a lifetime ago. How could I forget my closest blood relation. "Of course. Who knows that better than you?"

Break the pattern she started in you. Mistrust. Fear. Anger. Keeping everything inside until it wells up like a typhoon and washes all your loved ones away and blinds you to truth and reason. She smiles, and her eyes are like mine, far older than her face. So. You've found a mirror. What do you think of her?

"She's fast. So much faster than me. And she's so free with her words. It would take me half a day to put everything together like she does."

She reminds me of you when you were far younger, and hiding behind Athena's eyes, like she is now.

"Oh yes. So much like my younger self. But different. She's so fast! How will I ever keep up with anyone like this?"

Practice. You forget how young she is. Slightly younger than you. No need to take a conversation seriously when there is no chance to meet.

"She wonders what you think of her. Or she says she does. I wonder if she is joking or serious."

She's serious. Her mind is similar to yours. She's curious.

"Should I tell her?"

She smiles as she always smiles, more jubilant than a mother who sees her baby for the first time, more stunning than a woman dancing with her lover, and more devastating than a warrior gloating over her adversaries. If she's smart enough to find this, than I'm sure she has some idea. If not... She shrugs. In any case, it doesn't matter. You should stop rolling over for her and playing dead. One would think you have never talked to a woman before.

"How can I possibly keep up? She can pull together whole pages in a few hours when I can only manage half of one."

Your typed space is full of things unsaid. The only difference between yourself and your mirror is that she holds nothing back. You pause, balk, bob, and weave around your heart, hoping to be accepted. One wonders what you've been fighting for all these years when you say nothing of value.

Her words sting, but they are true. "I was fighting for freedom to say what was in my heart, and now that I am free, I chain myself." I close my eyes, and small tears of frustration flow.

You've broken free. Now it's a matter of stitching yourself up to repair the wounds that freedom cost you. She holds me at arms length, but does not hold me as she used to, as a mother would her child. She knows I'm growing now, and I requested that she stop coddling me long ago. Still, her small touch of affection strengthens me. Time is of importance now. While you crossed over hills and plains last year, now is the time to jump over mountains and rivers. This is not a matter of can you did this. It is a matter of will you do this?

I nod my head. "Yes. I will. Even if I look stupid or crazy, I have to let my heart speak. And sing. And laugh. But how do I protect her?"

There is no protection needed. She is stronger than you remember, and she heals remarkably when wounded. Don't you remember?

"It's been so long. I had forgotten that. I got so caught up in not letting anyone see her. In being ashamed of her being apart of me. I'd forgotten all about her strength. People think I'm strong now. People think I'm courageous. But nothing is as strong as my heart."

She inclines her head, as if she has been waiting for me to say those words. And her irises flash grey, a reflection of my past in her eyes. I agree.