Hope Burning

Chapter Five:

His face must have registered something more than surprise as she seemed to turn a remarkable shade of red under her olive skin though she couldn’t seem to look away from Marks eyes.

         “OH” came the soft out rushing of air from Jessica’s perfectly shaped lips. She seemed to be struggling to speak. “I um. I didn’t mean to come at a bad time. I am so sorry. I was just… I will come back another time. I’m sorry.” All of this came out in one rush of breathe. She began to retreat backward down the porch stairs hastily.

         “No wait!” Mark called snapping out of his stunned paralysis. “Please don’t go.” Mark hurried toward the retreating woman and caught up with her  as she turned and promptly tripped on the loose bottom step.

         Not even thinking about it Mark reached out and grabbed her by the arm and slipped his arm around her waist lifting her back up and pulling her up against his body. As soon as her body came into contact with his he was instantly aware of every soft curve and desire licked through his body like fire. He was acutely aware of her breasts pressed against his chest as his breathing sped up to match his furiously beating heart.
         
         Wincing she took a sharp hiss of breath and he realized he was grasping her on the bruise. Instantly he let go of her bruised arm while still holding firmly around her waist.          

         Damn it. I have to get that step fixed. Furious with himself for almost causing her another injury and definitely causing more pain.

         She stared up at him in horror. She could feel his arm as it pressed against her back. Against her scars. Her heartbeat skyrocketed, her breathing spiraled out of control, her face drained of blood and a cold sweat broke out on her forehead. A soft gasp escaped her lips. She had to get away from his touch, his arms, his eyes!

         She started struggling to be free of him. Something shattered to the ground but neither one looked to see what it was. She wrenched free of his embrace and was flailing and tripping to get away from him. Her eyes were rolling wildly in their sockets and she couldn’t seem to breathe. 

         She was completely terrified and Mark had no idea why. He was afraid for this woman who seemed on the edge of hysteria. He reached out to help her again but she let out a small pitiful scream of fear that pulled him to a sudden stop as he realized she was afraid of him! What the hell was going on and what had happened to her?

         “Jessica!” He said gently but firmly as be backed a few inches away.
         
         “Jessica! It’s ok. Calm down and breathe. You need to sit down and breathe. I promise I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to.” He watched her intently, worry and fear swirling in his grey eyes.
         
         She tripped and fell to the ground but finally seemed to hear him. The fear seemed to be dissipating but her breathing was still wildly out of control. It seemed like she was about to hyperventilate.

         “You stay there one minute honey and I will be right back.” He rushed into the kitchen and grabbed a small paper bag, luckily he kept all his bags to reuse or recycle. He hurried back out to the distressed woman laying in his back yard.

         “Jessica. Listen to me. I want you to breathe using this bag. I am not going to touch you ok. Just take the bag.” He reached out to hand it to her. She seemed to shrink in on herself a little but she did not seem to be afraid of him anymore. She took the bag and began to breathe into it. After a few moments her eyes lost the wild look and her body seemed to relax.

         Mark moved to within reaching distance and squatted on his heels. “Are you ok? Can you talk to me?” He tried to assess her condition from his position as best he could. It did not seem that her fall had resulted in any further injury but he couldn’t be sure. He did notice that the bruises on her arms that she tried to cover with the sleeves of the thin sun dress were even worse than yesterday. He balled his fists and tried to smother the anger that welled in him at the sight of her laying there bruised and terrified. It made him irrationally angry. He knew he had to stay calm so he did not frighten her again. He wanted badly to pick her up and carry her inside but he knew touching her was strictly out of the question. At the moment he was afraid to come any closer.

         “Jessica. Honey can you answer me?” The aching tenderness in his words seemed to get through to her and she finally looked up into his storm grey eyes and froze.

         All she could do was nod her head. She tried to think of words but nothing came to her. All she could do was stare into his eyes. She appeared to be mesmerized her green eyes wide and dark.

         “Jessica. If you don’t answer me sweetheart I am going to have to either pick you up and take you to the doctor or call an ambulance.”

         “What?” That was all she could think to say.

         “Are you ok? Can you stand?”

         “Oh.. Um. Yeah.” She moved to pull her feet under her so she could stand. As she lifted herself from the ground she tried to focus on staying steady though she knew it was obvious that she wobbled like a drunk person. Her legs felt like jelly and she was so light headed she was afraid she might faint.

         Mark saw her face blanch again as she stood up and instinctively reached out toward her in case she fell again.

         “Here take my hand and I will help you inside. I won’t touch you I promise. Just hold on to me wherever you want so we can get you in the house ok.” He looked at her and added very quietly. “You can trust me.”

         She reached out and gratefully took his arm in her hands to steady herself. She really wouldn’t be able to make it anywhere without his help. He thinks I am a total crack pot! Jeez what is wrong with me. I can’t even behave normally for five minutes.

         “That’s it.” He lead her slowly to the back door and into the kitchen. She was heading toward a chair when he continued to lead her on into the living room and to the large couch.

         “Just sit here and catch your breathe ok. I will be right back.” Mark made sure she was comfortable and went to the kitchen and brought her a glass of water.

         “I am so sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” She took the water sipped at it and placed it on the coffee table. “I..” She placed her face in her hands and leaned forward elbows on her knees. “I was just trying to come and say thank you. I didn’t mean to make a fool of myself again.” The words were muffled by her hands.
         
         He pushed the coffee table a little further from the couch and sat directly in front of her on it so he could look at her straight on while he tried to see if she was hurt.  Or at least hurt more.

         “I just want to make sure your ok. Do you feel pain anywhere?”

         “What? No.” Then she pulled her hands away from her face and noticed a nasty scrape on her left palm and a stickiness on her knee. She touched her knee gingerly and winced. She saw there was a rip in the fabric of her dress and saw a red stain spreading from the same spot. “Oh.” She seemed surprised as if the wounds weren‘t hers at all.

         Mark got up and left the room. When he returned a minute later he was carrying what looked remarkably like her own first aid kit at home only much much larger.

         Sitting down in front of her again he opened the kit on the table next to him and brought out the supplies he would need. Then wordlessly he looked at her and held out one of his own as if in supplication.

         Jessica slowly extended her scraped palm. Mark looked directly into her eyes as he very gently cupped her hand in his own palm and held it there for a moment not moving. Then he finally looked down and began cleaning and bandaging the superficial wound. Jessica’s mind went back to the last thing he had said to her yesterday ‘Not everyone is going to hurt you Jessica.’

         She had thought of nothing but this man since the moment he left her house. I can trust this man. She shook her head ever so slightly. I just can’t get involved with him. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us. Besides now he knows that I am beyond a doubt crazy as a loon. It made her sad and angry with herself that she couldn’t be touched without freaking out no matter how hard she tried to stay calm.

         “Now the knee.” She heard his soft voice and looked up into his face and what she saw there broke her heart. He wasn’t moving at all. He wasn’t even preparing to move toward her in any way. He just sat there looking at her. Waiting for her to respond. Patiently waiting for her permission to touch her or make her boundaries known to him. What broke her heart was the look of sorrow and concern on the beautiful face of this kind man.

         Jessica looked at her covered knee and felt the damage there and when her finger touched something hard and angular she hissed in pain and yanked her hand back. Very slowly she edged the dress up the few inches it took to expose her bare knee.

         All she could do was stare at the gash in her knee and wonder how she hadn’t felt it before. She saw the piece of glass lodged there and knew that was what she had brushed with her finger through the fabric of her dress a moment before.

         “I hope that doesn’t need stitches. Can I clean it up so we can see?” Mark looked very carefully into her face and waited for a response to be sure he wouldn’t upset her again.

         “Yes, please.” She whispered. It was all she could manage to get out.

         “I wonder what this glass is from? There was no glass on my porch I am sure of it.” Then he vaguely remembered hearing something crashing earlier when the whole incident began.

         “It was the pie I was bringing to you. It was a glass dish. I guess I should stick to metal ones from now on.” She glanced away from his face with a small flush of color to her cheeks. “I thought you would like a pie so I made you one this morning as a thank you for yesterday. I tried to call but your cell seems to not be working.” She nervously bit at her lower lip and looked away still blushing.

         She had made him a pie? His hands stopped in their act and he looked at her again. “You baked me a pie? What kind?” Surprise was evident in his voice. As soon as he said it he realized how stupid that question was. What did it matter what type it was?

         “Apple. It’s my favorite so I thought maybe you would like it too. I mean doesn’t everyone like it?” Oh god. How can I be sitting here having this seemingly normal conversation after that hideous affair in the yard? Though the thought of the pie seemed to please him. I should make another to make up for this. She laughed suddenly surprising him. To Mark her laugh sounded like the soft tinkling of bells.

         What she didn’t know is that when she smiled and laughed she was radiant and took Marks breathe away so that it was a few moments before he could speak.

         “What was funny?”

         Jessica blushed but figured the truth was best. “I was thinking that now I would have to bake you two to make up for the pie that fell and this new incident. If I don’t stop doing this kind of thing, you are going to end up with more pie than you could possibly eat!” She was smiling now. 

         Mark leaned back and laughed and as usual when he laughed it was a deep and hearty thing that often surprised people. “You don’t have to bake me anything really. Don’t get me wrong. I love pies and apple in particular but you don’t have to do that.” he said still chuckling softly.

         “I just want to say thank you and now I have much more to say thank you for.” She shrugged looking a little sad.

         “I’ll tell you what. Let me buy you dinner and we’ll call it even ok?” He wasn’t looking at her anymore. He was intently cleaning her knee wound.

         Was he blushing? Oh dear. How do I tell him no? I don’t want to insult him but how can I let him buy me dinner when I am the one who owes him. Why would he want to do it anyway after all the trouble I have caused him. She sighed softly to herself. Besides I can’t get into a relationship with anyone.

         Hearing her sigh and thinking he had made her uncomfortable he quickly said, “It’s ok if you don’t want to go. Really. I just thought we might as well get to know each other since we are neighbors and we keep bleeding all over each other.” He glanced up into her face quickly to get a feel for her response. She seemed surprised then she laughed again.

         “Ok. But I will pay. I owe you that much at least!” What am I thinking? I can’t go out with this man! Why did I just agree to go to dinner with him? I really must have lost my mind.

         “Jessica.” His tone was serious now and she looked to see what had changed. “The glass isn’t very large or in very deep. I want to take it out so I can clean it and bandage it. You shouldn’t need to go to the hospital unless it gets infected.” He was looking into her eyes again. “Do you want me to take it out?”

         Her breathing became erratic again but this time it had more to do with the look in his eyes and the fact that those eyes were mere inches from hers. “Yes.” It came out as a whisper but he heard it and went back to work on her knee.

         “This might hurt when I pull it out ok.”

         Jessica didn’t say anything. She just waited and concentrated on controlling her breathing.

         The pain caught her by surprise even though he had warned her. She couldn’t help the gasp that escaped or the way her entire leg jumped and twitched.

         “It’s ok honey. It will be done in a minute.” He placed his free hand on the side of her knee cupping it and holding it still. He didn’t seem to realize it and just kept working on the cut.

         This time Jessica did not lose her mind. This time she felt something entirely different. A warmth spread in her from where his hand was cupping the sensitive flesh under her knee. All pain was forgotten and all of a sudden the urge to touch his hair was almost overwhelming. It shone like blue black silk as it flowed over the side of his broad shoulder.

         What is this?! She realized he was touching her and she was only thinking about touching his hair! Utterly stunned by her new reaction she couldn’t have moved if she wanted to. She just stared in amazement and fear at the man crouched in front of her. Amazed that his intimate touch had not brought on another embarrassing panic attack and fear for the response that it evoked in her.

         “Ok there you go sweet heart. You are all bandaged up. Before I put all this away do you have any other unknown scrapes or scratches?” He was looking at her so intently that she blushed yet again and looked away shaking her head.

         I wonder if he realizes he has been calling me honey and sweet heart? Maybe he says it to all the damsels in distress that he meets. Or maybe… no I can’t think about that!

         “Ok good. Now back to the important subject.” Jessica tensed expecting him to ask what the hell was wrong with her and he had every right to ask but to her surprise it was something totally different.
         
         “I disagree. I think that since I ruined the pie you baked for me that its my turn. No arguing. Dinner is on me.”  He said it all in a very serious tone of voice like he really thought he owed her something.

         “We can negotiate later.”

         “Stubborn I see. Well I will just have to hijack the waiter.” He sighed dramatically as he went to put the first aid kit away and wash his hands.
         
         She giggled at him and when she realized it she promptly picked up the water glass and told herself to stop acting crazy and childish, she was a sophisticated twenty eight year old woman after all.

         A few moments later she heard glass tinkling and realized he was cleaning up the pie. Her mess. The least she could do was help since it was her fault after all. She went through the kitchen and to the back door and saw him there leaned over the scattered remnants of her great grandmothers treasured glass pie dish. It saddened her that the beautiful antique pie dish that she had inherited from her mother was now only so many shards. She had wanted to bring him more than the pie. She wanted him to know how much she appreciated his kindness and generosity so she had used her best pie dish. She stooped to help and sighed softly. He really is a good man.

         “Sorry this will only be a minute almost all done.” he said as he looked up at her. As he had been cleaning up the pie he realized that the jade green glass dish was an elegant affair and most probably antique. He could tell it was beautiful and felt even worse than before that she had lost something that was probably very valuable to her. I wonder how I make this up to her.
         
         “I wish you had let me at least clean it up.” She took a deep breathe. “Thank you Mark. Thank you for helping me.” She paused then quietly said “I know I owe you an explanation for my craziness.” She couldn’t meet his eyes.

         “Only if you want to Jessica. You don’t owe me anything.” He stood and went into the kitchen to throw away the bits of glass and pie he had cleaned up. There was a small paper bag on the counter with the largest pieces of the pie dish he had saved. He looked to make sure it was closed so she wouldn’t know what was in it.

         “Yes I do. At least I feel I do.”

         “Ok. Then how about you tell me tonight at dinner, if you want to that is?”

         “OK.” She looked at him curiously wondering what was going on in the head of this man. “What time would you like to go? I am free anytime.”

         “Is seven ok?” He glanced at the clock on the wall. “I have to go to an appointment in town right now but I will give you a lift home first. I don’t think you should walk back through the woods with that knee.” He said it more like a question than a statement but he headed toward the door anyway waiting for her to follow him.

         He dropped her off at her house and even walked her to the door saying he would be back to pick her up at seven before leaving to make his appointment though he seemed reluctant to leave.