Despertar

it's getting bad

I'm back to crying myself to sleep most nights and waking up each morning with what feels like a bad hangover. I had a fun weekend after Thanksgiving, but the instant I got back to D.C., this crazy, overextended feeling rushed immediately back into me. I'm just about to the point where I'm going to have to ask my mom for a loan to help with rent, something I wanted never to have to do. Ever. And I felt fat, so I lost fifteen pounds, and now I think I'm too thin.

Everything is going badly: school, social life, job hunt. The boy situation is the best thing happening right now, and when you consider that it's actually completely unstable and that I have no clue where it's going, that's really not saying much. Different parts of my body hurt for no reason. I haven't felt this frightened since college, or this aimless since high school. Sorry if I've forgotten to ask about your life recently. The irony is, as thoughtless as I'm probably being these days, I'd much rather talk about you than me, right now.