.:Dreams and Swords:.

Taking Down The Sign

I took the mourning sign down off my handle a few minutes ago.

There was a silent agreement between my mom and I this morning. We've put aside our mourning for another time. For my mom I believe it is her history with K. Things were estranged between then at the end. I think a small part of her feels guilty, even though its not her fault at all. Another part I think is that she's too angry at hurt K left behind, especially for her godchildren. It'll take some time for that to settle itself.

For me, personally, there's too much to do to really stop and mourn K's passing. It sounds petty, and utterly selfish, and I accept that. There is a time to grieve her, but last night and my today, I can't continue and finish what I've already committed.

My family celebrates something called Dia de los Muertos - The Day of the Dead. It is actually two days where you remember and celebrate the passing of loved ones. Traditionally, you go to the grave site and decorate the graves in elaborate settings, making tons of food to feast on. Loved ones wait all night in the cemetery for them to return from the dead to eat and drink and remember.

We do our own version each year, remembering those we've lost. On November 1st, my mom and I will mourn K. We will remember each person we've lost and celebrate the lives they lead before they passed on. It may not be the best way, but it is our way, and I can live with that.