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Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/entry_id/667280-i-could-use-a-cocktail
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Rated: 18+ · Book · Biographical · #1372191
Ohhhhhhhh.
#667280 added September 10, 2009 at 9:46pm
Restrictions: None
i could use a cocktail
1. Can you answer all of these questions honestly?
I don't know. I haven't seen them yet. I'm not in the mood to talk about recent Justin developments, so if anything like that comes up, I'll be tempted to lie.

2. Could you handle being married to the last person you messaged/commented?
Yeah, I think so. He's about nine years older than I am and we come from vastly different cultures, but he's handsome, fit, funny and socially confident. He'd be a good dad, too. Honestly, he's probably my second choice in general, anyway.

3. Show us the last picture you uploaded.
You'll live without it. It was a picture I took for Tina, of my feet in a pair of these new gold shoes I bought. If you still want to see it, based on that scintillating description, just ask.

4. Can you honestly say you're okay right now?
I'm fine. I'm very chilly, because my new roommate can't live without the air conditioning at full blast, but I have my Slanket and I'm leaving the house soon anyway. Also, it's Thursday night, and my Thursday night is the equivalent of everyone else's Friday night. So it's all good.

5. Do you have good vision?
Not hardly. Justin once said, probably sarcastically, that the best part of sleeping with me is watching me fumble around naked for my glasses when it's over. I normally wear my contacts around him, but I always take them out before sex because sex makes me fall asleep.

6. Do you know anyone with a cute laugh?
I am very critical of other people's laughs. My mother, for instance, does the second laugh eschewed by Mary Poppins in the film of the same name. She laughs through her teeth, goodness sakes, hissing and fizzing like snakes. Tst-tst-tst.

7. How do you feel about answering personal and/or intimate questions?
Really, I wish surveys did a better job of probing me intimately. It frustrates me very much that we always end up with questions like "Do you have good vision?" when it would take all that much more effort to come up with something that really made me think. I think what I really wish is that I were in talk therapy. I would love to talk endlessly about my thoughts and feelings in a way that transcended the obvious.

8. What's your favorite food of your culture?
I do love fried chicken.

9. Has a guy ever seriously punched you more than once?
Yes.

10. What videos are on your iPod?
A few episodes from the 2007 season of What Not to Wear, but I never watch them. I should just delete them.

11. Have you ever doubted that love exists?
I will always believe in the unconditional love between parents and children, but I can't say for sure that I consistently do believe in romantic love. I think it's made up of other elements, like convenience and need and codependency, and that hormones and endorphins color it so it seems more poetic than that. But if love is the thing that causes middle-aged women to lift three thousand-pound cars off their grown children, it seems ridiculous to call that other kind--the kind that wears off over time, that breeds resentment and jealousy and suffocation--by the same name.

12. Do you still talk to the person you fell hardest for?
Omit!

13. Who do you regret meeting?
I'm convinced my life would be markedly better today if I'd never met Marcus. It's still impossible for me to interact with him with anything approaching maturity, and I haven't been in love with him in years. To further prove my above point.

14. What fictional character do you wish was real?
Cal Lightman. I would love to apprentice with him and learn everything possible about microexpressions which, I hear, is all bullshit, so that probably wouldn't work.

15. Are you a bad influence?
I wouldn't spend nine thousand hours a week mentoring if I thought I were anything but a very good one.

16. What were you last late for?
I'm not often late anymore.

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Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/entry_id/667280-i-could-use-a-cocktail